15 Unwritten Rules to Know Before Visiting New York City

Getty

For first-time visitors, New York City can be as intimidating as it is alluring. With over 8 million residents and 220,000 businesses scattered across five boroughs and 350-plus neighborhoods, it would take multiple lifetimes to fully explore the dynamic and ever-evolving city that many of us Condé Nast Traveler editors call home. In order to navigate the chaos, there are a few ground rules New Yorkers live by—from subway and sidewalk etiquette to unspoken social norms.

To help travelers tackle the best city in the world with confidence and ease, we've put together 15 unwritten rules everyone should know before visiting New York City, including tips and tricks for planning your next trip. Consider this a cheat sheet to experiencing NYC like a local—and when you do visit, know that while New Yorkers may not be Midwestern nice or West Coast chill, we are always happy to lend a hand if you need directions, advice, or help lugging that overpacked suitcase up the subway stairs.

Plan for traffic and delays

As a native New Yorker, this one was a tough lesson to learn—and one that I learned the hard way oh so many times—especially when hailing a cab can feel so convenient. When you’re running late for that Broadway show you booked weeks in advance, do not—and I mean do NOT—rely on above-ground transportation to get you there in time. More often than not, there is some parade, protest, rally, street fair, or movie shoot (or all of the above) going on—especially in the busiest parts of the city. Using the subway will almost always be your best bet. If you are in a subway desert, then taking the bus is still a better option, since they use dedicated bus lanes. My best advice on avoiding the mess of all the above? Give yourself a large amount of extra time to get around anywhere. Even if it seems close by, you never know what sort of bizarre incident could cause both car and train traffic all around the city. — Emily Adler, Associate Social Media Manager

Use public transportation

As mentioned above, public transportation is the best way to explore the city. New York has one of the best transit systems in the world, including trains, buses, ferries, and even a tram. With 472 stations and 28 routes covering all 5 boroughs, the subway is the most convenient option. To plan your route, plug in your destination into the New York Subway MTA Map app, or use the transit option on Apple Maps or Google Maps. Always make sure to pick the correct entrance based on the direction you’re traveling (in Manhattan, this will be uptown or downtown for the most part) to avoid ending up on the wrong side of the tracks. You can tap-to-pay with your phone, contactless credit card, or metro card.

Time for the rules. When the subway arrives, stand next to (not in front of) the door to let passengers off the train first. Once everyone gets off, then you can board. If the doors are closing right when you get there, don’t panic—and please don't hold them open. There’s likely another train right behind it. If there are lots of people packed into one car, move to the center to make room for riders filing in behind you. And if you get stuck standing right in front of the door, you'll need to exit at the next stop to let folks out (just stand to the right or left and then you can hop back on). Now for the seating etiquette: They are reserved for butts, not for bags—so don’t hog a spot with your purse. Offer your seat if you see someone who needs it more. If you’re standing and wearing a backpack on a crowded train, take it off and hold it in your hands or place it by your feet so you don’t whack the people behind you. When you’ve finally arrived at your destination and are climbing up the stairs back to life above ground, real New Yorkers will always offer to help carry strollers or heavy suitcases—we're all in this together. —Hannah Towey, Associate Editor

That subway car is empty for a reason

Never get on an empty subway car—because there’s probably a good reason for it. Maybe it’s the air conditioning or heat not working; someone’s grocery bags that have exploded its indeterminable contents all across the floor; the possibility of encountering a stomach-churning odor of some kind—the list is endless. Instead, stuff yourself into an airless packed car and trust that there are a hundred different reasons why every New Yorker around you decided to do the same. —Arati Menon, Global Digital Director

How to (safely) cross the sidewalk like a New Yorker

One of the first things you might notice when visiting New York City is that we don’t wait for the crosswalk signal to cross. I mean, really, who has time for that? I’m walkin’ here! In fact, jaywalking is so common place that it's now officially legal in New York City—so there's no need to worry about getting a ticket any more. However, this does not mean you can blindly follow the person in front of you and cross the street with your phone directions in front of your face. Locals will mentally time the gap between traffic to a millisecond and it may no longer be safe for you to cross once it's your turn. Before taking the leap, look in the direction that traffic is coming from (both ways if you’re not sure) and then look again for any e-bikes in the bike lane—they are more likely to hit you than a car. —HT

Speed walk

Walking is a form of commuting for New Yorkers. We walk with intention. We are going from A and getting to B. We do not dawdle. In fact, we encourage you to skip the subway at times and walk to your destination. You will see so much city life doing so. It’s okay if you are visiting and want to go a little slower (we want you to enjoy this town and appreciate what you are seeing!) but if you do so, be mindful of a few things: always make room for whomever is approaching at a faster speed and needing to get past (that includes from behind), and don't block subway entrances or exits. The faster walker always has the right of way. —Erin Florio, Executive Editor

Don’t take up the whole sidewalk

Often, when I’m charging up the block in a dense part of the city—from subway to restaurant; from office to bar—I find myself mind-blown at how challenging it is for some pedestrians to walk a straight line at a speedy clip. People, surely from out of town, are walking like a chorus line, commandeering the entire sidewalk, forcing me to weave around and step onto the street to pass. I know these people are not residents. In my head I hear Fran Lebowitz: “Pretend it’s a city!” Pretend the people around you have somewhere to be. Imagine that they are late to a surprise birthday party or an interview or a really good sample sale. If you are here, leisurely walking with a gaggle of friends, your group of four should not be in a vertical line commandeering the concrete, but rather a two-by-two, on one side of the sidewalk with space for someone like me to zip by and get where they’re going. The flow works when we all cooperate—and I promise you’ll get the hang of it. —Megan Spurrell, Associate Articles Director

How far in advance to make reservations

If you’re looking to snag a table at one of the best restaurants in New York City, try to book as far in advance as you possibly can, and be prepared to enter a Hunger Games style battle for a reservation—some restaurants book a week out, while others book three months in advance. Resy is one of the city’s top booking platforms, and its Notify feature (to be used when a reservation isn’t available on a date you want) is easy to have a love-hate relationship with—that being said, be sure to use it for multiple restaurants on multiple dates for your best chances of success, and you’ll get a reservation notification if a table becomes available (and you better act fast). For more low-key spots, there’s much more wiggle room, but it can never hurt to book somewhere in advance, even if you might cancel it later on (but don’t ignore cancellation policies). Pro tip: if you’re struggling like the rest of the city to get into some of the buzziest new restaurants, try walking in as early as 4 p.m. and requesting a table—oftentimes you will be able to grab seats at the bar or be put on a waitlist. – EA

Carry cash

Even in 2024, the really good places—I mean, the old school red sauce joints, the crazy mile-high sandwich delis, the best NYC dive bars where you’re grateful the walls can’t speak but you never want to leave—don’t care about your credit card. Even some cute cocktail bars with a high-profile internet presence will surprise you with a “cash only” sign. Some of these spots will have an ATM in the back corner where, for an exorbitant fee, you can pull out a stack of $20s, but those janky machines are unreliable and don’t always cooperate with international cards. You need cold hard cash on you at all times—I try to have $40 on hand, but if you’re going to be bopping around a ton, make it $100. Just in case. (Easy way to rack up good city karma? Spot someone panicking for pay for that martini and let them pay you on Zelle or Venmo, if you can spare it.) -MS

Sample local cuisine

New York is full of so many different cultural pockets—and there's no better way to experience this diversity than eating your way through the city. When deciding where to eat, your mind might jump to fancy restaurants, tasting menus, and white tablecloth atmospheres, but trying each neighborhood’s signature cuisine is one of the best things to do in New York City. Taste juicy soup dumplings at Joe's Shanghai in Chinatown; try iconic pierogies at Veselka in Little Ukraine; indulge in a hearty pastrami sandwich at Gottlieb’s Restaurant in Hasidic Williamsburg. The bottom line: don’t be afraid to go off the beaten path—the city’s most culturally significant hidden gems are arguably even more nourishing (for the body and the soul) than any glitzy eatery. - EA

How to properly hail a cab

To get yourself a cab, put that hand up as high as you can and step onto the street—no hailing from the sidewalk—then, open the door and get in before telling them where you are headed. Once you're in the car they legally can’t refuse to take you within the five boroughs. Remember to tip on top of the fare at the end (this ain’t Uber). Chats with the driver are encouraged—yellow NYC cabbie drivers are some of the most colorful characters in this town. - EF

Mind your business

In New York City you will often find yourself in jam-packed public spaces, like a rush-hour subway car or crowded sidewalk. In order to create a faux-sense of anonymity and privacy whilst getting up close and personal with strangers, it’s common etiquette to avoid direct eye contact to help create a mental barrier of space when it’s not physically possible. This also applies to dramatic scenes or celebrity sightings that may attract stares in your home town. If there’s one thing New Yorkers are good at, it’s minding our business. —HT

Street interactions

While in the suburbs it’s more common to smile and say hello to everyone who passes, this is quite literally impossible in highly dense NYC neighborhoods. This doesn’t mean you shouldn't offer polite smiles and greetings when it makes sense—while engaging in conversation, or saying hello to your friendly neighborhood doorman or bodega cashier, for example. When in social environments, please go forth and shoot your shot, but you’re guaranteed an odd look if you randomly say hello to every stranger you see on the street. As for the reverse, if someone approaches you on the street and says “can I ask you a question” or something of the like, just keep walking unless you’re willing to buy something, hand over your email for a petition, or end up on TikTok. —HT

If you’re only spending time in Manhattan, you’re doing it wrong

New York City is not just Manhattan. Manhattan has much of what you know from NYC-based movies and TV—Carrie’s West Village apartment, Eloise’s penthouse, etc. etc. etc.—but New Yorkers don’t stay in one borough. There are five, and beyond the fact that we live throughout them, we travel by subway or ferry or bicycle to the others. Even on a short trip to the city, it’s worth traveling to Queens for food from every corner of the world, or Rockaway Beach in the summer; Brooklyn is arguably just an extension of Manhattan, with some of the best restaurants in the city—and the nightlife is arguably even better (check out our guide to the best bars for live music in Brooklyn). The Bronx is where you’ll find Yankee Stadium, and an underrated Little Italy; and hey, Staten Island gets a lot of flack, but the free ferry is the best way to see the Statue of Liberty (and you can eat from Nonnas of the World once you reach the other side). - MS

Style tips

New York is where you can let your personal style shine—on any given night, you'll see models and fashion execs flaunting the latest designer trends alongside deceivingly casual fits. New Yorkers are masters of making dressing-down appear like they’ve dressed up (yes that t-shirt that kid is wearing at Casino probably cost a few hundred dollars). Some rules of thumb: When in doubt wear black; good skin is way more important than good make up; sneakers will work in almost any situation where you assume you should be wearing heels; in summer you will not need to bring a jacket or cardigan of any kind with you if staying out from day to night. —EF

The best time to visit is autumn

I have written about this at length—autumn is the best time to be here. Previously tied with springtime, which has in recent years been reduced to a week-long-if-you’re-lucky, blink-and-you’ll miss it blip in the transition from winter to summer, fall (as in, the months of October and November) remains the most pleasant season in which to stay a while in New York City. The temperatures are actually pleasant, for one thing, largely mild and sunny with the bright blue sky lighting up some seriously vivid foliage. If walking around outside matters to you, and it should, go in autumn. —Charlie Hobbs, associate editor

Originally Appeared on Condé Nast Traveler

The Latest Travel News and Advice

• Want to be the first to know? Sign up to our newsletters for travel inspiration and tips

• These Are the World's Most Powerful Passports in 2024

• Are Gate Lice Soon to Be Exterminated?

• The Friendliest Cities in the US, According to Our Readers