19 Strict Relationship Boundaries Women Set That Might Just Change Your Perception Of The Dating World
Recently Reddit user Murky_Error_4894 asked the women of the community, "What boundaries do you set when you first start dating someone?"
These women got right to the point and revealed the boundaries they set about things that are just inexcusable. Like, they don't have time for such nonsense, and I truly don't blame 'em!!!
So, here are some strict boundaries women set when it comes to dating and relationships:
Note: Not all submissions reflect every woman's viewpoint of the dating world. Everyone's experience is different.
1."I'm not your mother, so you need to be clean and independent. I can't believe I have to say it, but I do."
"The last guy I 'dated' didn’t even brush his teeth or change his sheets. He was a psychologist and published researcher — still cannot wrap my head around it."
2."I make it known off the bat that I like to take things slow. I watch for 'love bombing' — if he’s way too into me for how little he actually knows me, I know he is only in it for sex. Or, he’s 'love bombing' and probably doesn’t really care about my personality."
"This is exactly who I am. I once went out with a guy who declared his love to me on the first date. Like, come on, dude — you don't even know my favorite color or my middle name. I think some men feel as though women are dumb."
3."I made it clear to my husband when we first started dating that I would not compete for his attention. He had a female friend who tried to insert herself into our relationship, and I made it clear that I would be gone if he didn't tell her to quit her bullshit. She was obviously not invited to our wedding, and she's been awfully quiet ever since."
4."I am not okay with half-baked, half-hearted communication. I need clear communication because romance is important to me. Also, your efforts have to match mine. Your kindness has to match mine (and if not, goodbye and good riddance."
5."You can't have contact with exes or past hook ups."
6."I no longer sleep with guys until we've made things official and have met each other's families. This is because the last guy I slept with still had Tinder popping up on his phone the next day and didn't invite me to meet any of his friends or family. Then he dumped me the day before I'd arranged for him to meet my son. I won't be used like that again. I also won't sleep with anyone who hasn't had a cleared STD/STI check."
7."No physical touch or sexual jokes on the first date."
8."Until I trust a man, I’m never walking into his space. We will meet in public, and later he can come over to mine where I am safe. I know the layout, I know nobody else is around, I know the neighbors, and I know there are no cameras."
9."I am not always going to respond immediately to you. I have a job and a life, and if you don't receive a response in your 'expected' timeframe, you do not pass go, and you do not collect $200. I don't have patience for impatient and insecure men."
10."Respect and loyalty are of the utmost importance. I am so averted towards the use of excessive curse words, even if we are stuck in a lot of traffic or towards people who are 'lower in work rank' than them. Learning when to stop the argument is so necessary. I cannot replace their parents and therapist, so unrealistic expectations, other than what a genuine life partner can do, is a complete no."
11."If they request a threesome just because they learn that I'm bi, then they're out the door. Just because I'm bi, it doesn't make me any less jealous or monogamous as a straight girl is."
12."Imma always have 'my own.' My own car, money, hobbies, resources — whatever. Imma ALWAYS HAVE MY OWN. If that's a problem, bye."
13."Be respectful about your attraction to other women when you're with me. It's common to be attracted to other people, but don't stare or comment in front of me."
14."I have friends of the opposite sex who are very important to me. If that is a problem with whomever I’m dating, it will not work out. Jealousy is a natural human emotion, and I’m happy to have open dialogue, but I don’t have the time nor the patience to build up someone’s self-confidence on my own."
15."If his only idea of a date is a bar or somewhere that concerns alcohol, then he isn't for me. I'll give it two to three dates, but if there's no progression from a bar, then that tells me that the effort isn't going to peak any further than low standard."
16."Do not start talking about your exes so soon...uuughh. I wanna know you, not what 'Karen' was like. We all have past relationships."
17."No pinching my butt as I go upstairs in front of you, no matter how gentle or playful it is. It doesn't matter if it’s just expressing appreciation for my butt in a typically-totally-okay-and-flirtatious way. I grew up with sisters who would do that constantly to the point where I’m very uncomfortable walking upstairs in front of people. So I say this to men as a test, 'Do not pinch my butt because if you do it even ONE time, I will never, and I mean NEVER, walk upstairs in front of you again.'"
18."If your feet touch my pillows in any way, shape, or form, I will kick you out."
19.And finally, "My boundary is…respecting my boundaries. That’s it. That's what I would expect from someone who claims to respect me."
Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
