20 Of The Funniest Tweets About Married Life (Feb. 11 - Feb.18)
Marriage is full of highs, lows and a whole bunch of ordinary moments in between. Somehow the married people on X, formerly known as Twitter, continue to find humor in the minutiae of wedded life.
Every week, we round up the funniest marriage tweets on the platform. Read on for 20 relatable ones that will have you laughing in agreement.
It’s cool that my wife took up snoring as a new hobby.
— Opioid Cunningham (@anthracitedub) February 14, 2025
Send this to my husband you’ll have zero functioning tires by sunrise don’t play with me https://t.co/E3IbJITMYp
— Lu in Alaska (@luinalaska) February 12, 2025
My husband just walked in the door and saw a gift bag with red hearts all over it sitting on the table and I cannot make this up, said, “Is it someone’s birthday?”
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) February 13, 2025
If you like adrenaline rushes fueled by anxiety and annoyance, I highly recommend catching a flight with my husband.
— Hollie Harris (@allholls) February 17, 2025
In a healthy marriage you just ask the hard questions when your spouse is late getting home from work. pic.twitter.com/eBLVse1EKc
— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) February 13, 2025
Not emotionally prepared to enter the “we’re sharing one meal” part of my life.
— your other mom (@difficultpatty) February 12, 2025
My wife just asked me “ Do you notice anything different about me?” And now I’m scared as hell
— Tony P. (@Tbone7219) February 14, 2025
My husband just referred to another woman as “Megan Fox hot” I’m sorry??? What about “my wife hot” ???
— Arielle🌷 (@aerialarielle_) February 11, 2025
In any relationship there is the person whose stomach makes crazy noises at night and the person who says “your stomach is making crazy noises”.
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) February 11, 2025
husband: who's emailing you so late on a Friday
linkedin: heeeey— meghan (@deloisivete) February 15, 2025
It's called the "Master Bedroom" because that's where my wife sleeps.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) February 15, 2025
I found this thing of chocolates in the kitchen today and thanked my sweet husband and he said "I bought that for myself. Hands off." pic.twitter.com/vs5JTIGX0K
— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) February 16, 2025
My husband brought home a bouquet of mozzarella sticks resting in a baby vase of marinara. If this isn’t true love, I don’t know what is.
— sixfootcandy (@sixfootcandy) February 14, 2025
After some blood work recently, I decided to order prenatal vitamins but didn’t tell my husband why, I just put them in our medicine cabinet. And now we wait.
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) February 15, 2025
If you're wondering if kids who collect all those rocks they find ever get rid of them, my husband has a box full of all those rocks from his childhood he refuses to part with.
— Hollie Harris (@allholls) February 16, 2025
Ladies, this Valentine’s Day send him a picture of you in a Home Depot. That’ll really drive him wild.
— Marissa 💚💛 (@michimama75) February 14, 2025
Husband: Why don't I ever have any clean clothes???
Me: *wearing his underwear, socks, T-shirt and hoodie*
Me: I have no idea, that's wild.— 📚🍄 L I Z 🍀🍓 (@LivedAHobbit) February 16, 2025
Please pray for me… I’m fine I’m just stuck working from home with my husband all week.
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) February 12, 2025
My wife told my son to stop drinking his water so loudly last night and when he looked at me I was like sorry bud it only gets worse from here.
— Dad Named Matt 🇺🇸 (@mahnamematt) February 18, 2025
After the kids went to bed my wife and I took a gummy and put on some black peel-off facial masks. A while later my daughter had a nightmare so I ran upstairs to soothe her. One look at me and she SCREAMED, which made me SCREAM, which woke my son up SCREAMING. What a trip, man.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) February 15, 2025
