22 Tweets About The Utter Joys Of Back-To-School Night
Now that the kids are back in school, parents have all this extra time on their hands — it’s not like we have to work, keep a household running and feed a table filled with picky eaters every night, or that we’re not already drowning in grading apps with new passwords, athletic uniform orders, and “Mom, I have this project due ... tomorrow.”
But no, please — invite me to an evening event with no childcare provided in the middle of the week. I’ll be delighted to attend and will have no trouble making it on time.
Here, we round of the thoughts of some of the funniest parents on X (formerly Twitter) regarding the annual tradition that is back-to-school night.
Went to my kids’ back to school night tonight, used the girls’ bathroom, reminisced about the old school TP of our youth that was essentially American cheese sized squares made of sandpaper.
— redyellowgreendance 💃🏻 (@RYGdance) September 20, 2023
Sometimes I'm super classy and other times I accidentally wear a brewery hat to Back to School night
Tonight was other times— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) September 12, 2024
At back to school night resist the following urges:
☆Pointing out typos on the teacher's PowerPoint presentation.
☆Saying loudly, 'Oh fuck that noise' when asked to volunteer for the school carnival.
☆Hitting a vape.
☆Stealing post-it notes from the teacher's desk.— CynicalTherapist (@CynicalTherapi1) September 22, 2023
Huh. Well I just had more parents come into the library during “back to school night” than ever before
It only took me 8 years to think to prop the doors open to make the room more clearly welcoming. It worked like a charm 😂😂— Kelsey Bogan (DontYouShushMe.Com) (@kelseybogan) September 8, 2023
Tonight at back to school night we learned our 3 year old loves going around the preschool pretending to serve everyone drinks and when the teachers ask what it is he says “it’s alcohol”
— Sara Mauskopf (@sm) September 13, 2023
We thought our son was excited for us to attend Back-to-School night so we could meet his teacher…Turns out, his actual excitement was bc he couldn’t wait to show us the bathroom stall he had carefully chosen…“to do all the pooping in.”
— DonutHawk (@StruggleDisplay) August 10, 2022
Attending Back-to-School night so excuse me while I spend 3 days signing up for all the websites and apps.
— Rachel Vindman 🇺🇸🦅🌻 (@natsechobbyist) September 6, 2024
Look all I’m saying is that if they invite all the parents to Back To School Night, they should crown one of us Hottest Dad™️
— Night Hot Hands Brit (@JawnTheBeloved) September 7, 2023
Currently attending back to school night....im really an old ass parent now 😩🤣
— The Kidd (@Yung_TrizzleMan) September 28, 2023
Here’s a billion dollar idea - childcare (plus dinner for the kids) at Back to School night.
— Laura Norkin (@inLaurasWords) September 18, 2023
If you’re at parent back to school night and some 55yo looks outstanding in jean cutoffs and the non-divorced parents are holding hands and extroverts are having a popularity contest and someone’s older sibling was waitlisted at Harvard and you walk out into the 90 dusk…
— StateOfKate (@StateofKate) August 25, 2023
Not me showing up to back to school night with my kids a day too soon. 🫠 Back to bed I go.
— Foxworth07 (@bfoxworth07) August 14, 2024
Middle school parents should receive a basket at back to school night including:
Botox vouchers.
Advil.
Hair dye for greys.
A small slab of a safe material that won’t cause harm, to bang your head against when the need arises. Which is going to be a lot.— Rachel Sobel (@whinecheezits) March 21, 2022
Going to Back to School night tonight at my son's school which is truly the most adult thing I've ever done, including getting married, giving birth, and taking my car to a car wash without my dad.
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) October 6, 2022
Went to back to school night and saw a poem my daughter wrote and she said our house was clean so now she gets cupcakes for dinner.
— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) September 25, 2023
Just canceled my birthday date night to go to 6th grade back-to-school night, AMA.
— Courtney Ellis 🎈 (@courtneyellis) August 26, 2024
The correct response to back-to-school parent night emails is not “will there be wine?”
I know this now— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) September 7, 2022
i have never said a sentence that made me age faster in real time than “i wanted to go to the linkin park reunion concert but i can’t because it’s Back to School Night at preschool”
— Katie Chironis (@kchironis) September 8, 2024
Back to school night and I’m feelin’ very demuretsy
— Emily ™ (@emily_tweets) September 4, 2024
Forgot to take a pic of my Kindergartener at Back to School night. Please don’t call Child Protective Services on me.
— Jennifer Parker (@Mrs_JParker) August 18, 2023
I told my girls I left them something in their classrooms at back to school night and they asked if it was a laptop.
— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) September 23, 2022
Back to school night on NFL kickoff Thursday? Might have to change school districts.
— Brian Peacock (@BDPeacock) September 8, 2023
