30 Thoughts I Had While Watching Lifetime's 'Harry & Meghan: Escaping The Palace'
This weekend, Lifetime released its third (yes, third) installment of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle fictionalized movies.
This one, entitled Harry and Meghan: Escaping the Palace, follows Meghan and Harry as they contemplate and eventually leave their royal duties and move to Santa Barbara.
This movie has everything: dramatic flashbacks of Princess Diana, varyingly successful British accents, royal look-alikes, and many, many furrowed brows.
This weekend, Lifetime released its third (yes, third) installment of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle fictionalized movies. This one, entitled Harry and Meghan: Escaping the Palace, follows Meghan and Harry as they contemplate and eventually leave their royal duties and move to Santa Barbara.
This movie has everything: dramatic flashbacks of Princess Diana, varyingly successful British accents, royal look-alikes, and many, many furrowed brows. As a writer who often reports on the British royals, I wrote down, in real-time, my thoughts, questions, and concerns.
WARNING: Spoilers ahead.
We start with a heavy-handed recreation of Princess Diana’s car accident, except it’s Meghan (or rather, Sydney Morton as Meghan) inside the car. Subtle as a sledgehammer, folks.
William is being talked into visiting Archie, Meghan, and Harry. Let the family tension begin!
I know that the real Prince Harry looks a bit like Ed Sheeran, but this Prince Harry somehow looks even more like Ed Sheeran. I wonder if they can book the real Ed Sheeran for the next movie?
Harry and William are fighting on a miniature dock by a pond. It seems like a missed opportunity for Harry to push William into the pond, but perhaps that would be too “out-there.”
We’re at Trooping the Colour 2019 and Kate suggests that she wear the outfit from Meghan and Harry’s wedding as a sign of unity. It’s a bit of a wink and a nudge to all the stories about hidden meaning in the royals' clothing choices.
Victoria, the Cambridges’ aid, is painted as “the Firm” and, as such, the villain, likely to avoid ascribing blame to any specific royal.
I did not have horror movie music on my bingo card for this movie.
“He’s the king of the castle and I’m the dirty rascal.” What a moment for a nursery rhyme reference.
The movie spends quite a bit of time on the British Vogue storyline. They let us know Meghan’s a girlboss because she spends a lot of time furiously typing in different outfits.
The Meghan character is often crying; Harry is often furrowing his brow.
Now we’re on the famous Africa trip and we get an almost sex scene. Apparently, these are quite controversial.
Another Diana flashback and she appears to have a Scottish accent? I love an interpretive take.
On a very romantic, maybe CGI sunset backdrop, Harry tells Meghan they have to leave the Firm.
William, Kate, Charles, and Victoria watch Harry and Meghan speak with reporters in Africa and are, needless to say, furious.
The two most iconic pieces of dialogue thus far: “We shall use what is called cancel culture” and William calling Harry and Meghan “the woke bloke and his feminist bride.”
The Sussexes spend Christmas away and return to England amidst “rumors of an impending pandemic.” Ah, how young and naïve we were.
We meet “Queen Elizabeth” in a summit with Charles, William, and Harry. It seems the Queen is more of an advocate for Harry and Meghan than anyone else.
I’m uncomfortable watching Kate tell William they should have more PDA. They also joke about starting a YouTube channel (wink, nudge, they eventually do!).
The costumes have been pretty accurate thus far, but Meghan’s green hat for the Commonwealth Ceremony is… not it.
More dun dun dunnn music as we approach Westminster Abbey.
Harry approaches William with an exclamatory, “Oi!” I somehow have a hard time picturing this.
Throughout this whole movie, William acts as the villain while Kate is really painted as the peacemaker. That’s all the more evident in the Commonwealth Ceremony scenes.
Harry and Meghan go to Vancouver Island, which is where they eventually find out that their security is being removed. But, Meghan has a plan! Cut to a nontraditional cover of 2Pac’s “California Love.”
The Duke and Duchess lounge at Tyler Perry’s house where Harry quips, “I like American royalty.” He puts on quite an interesting pair of mirrored aviators.
Meghan and Harry then decide to look for a home of their own and, while turning dramatically towards each other, Meghan announces her pregnancy.
We now know that Meghan is feeling at home because she’s emphatically typing again. This time, she’s writing her commencement address for her alma mater.
She also wrote her New York Times op-ed, which, of course, does not go over well across the pond. Especially not with villain Victoria. Wait until they hear about the Oprah interview.
Ah, we come full circle with the Oprah interview, spliced with a recreation of Diana’s BBC interview.
Like all great films, we end with an epilogue in text written across the screen. The movie is pretty up to date, even mentioning the Diana statue unveiling in July.
End text: “Certain characters and dialogue has been fictionalized.” Thank you, Lifetime, for this helpful note. I would have had no idea.
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