5 Things to Do When Another Diner Is Being Too Loud

Have you ever gone to a restaurant only to find yourself seated next to another customer who doesn’t know the meaning of the words “inside voice?” Or maybe they’ve given their child a tablet to play games or watch a cartoon, but the volume is set somewhere between earsplitting and hair-raising. What do you do?

First, ask yourself if it’s really too loud. Is it a momentary guffaw from a group of people having a good time or a steady rumble of F-bombs and screaming that’s keeping you from enjoying your meal? And before you complain, make sure your grievance is justified. Consider the restaurant. Is it a sports bar on Super Bowl Sunday or is it a posh eatery with Michelin stars? You do have a right to enjoy your time in a restaurant without being disturbed, but if someone is keeping you from that, there are options.

Related: What to Do When the Person You're With Gets Too Drunk, Loud, or Rude in a Restaurant

Sit and suffer

If you’re like me, a people pleaser who never wants to make waves, this is your option. You don’t want to involve your server or the manager and you want to avoid conflict at all costs. So, you put up with the noise, sacrificing your own good time. If you choose this option, accept it. You can’t keep complaining about it or wishing they would quiet down, because you have decided to be OK with it. Order an extra Martini and be the martyr that you are.

"Order an extra Martini and be the martyr that you are."

Darron Cardosa

Deal with the loud people yourself

This is when you decide to take matters into your own hands. You don’t need the help of a server or a restaurant manager to handle your problems. You start with looks and angry sighs directed at the offending customer and if that doesn’t work, you walk right over to them to deal directly with the problem. It can range anywhere from, “Excuse me, but would you mind lowering your voice a bit?” to “Nobody wants to hear Peppa Pig, so turn it down!”

Be prepared for the response, because however they react to your request, you’re still sitting next to them for the remainder of your meal.

Related: Before You Complain to the Restaurant Manager About Your Server, Consider These Consequences

Ask to move away from the noise

Unless the restaurant is so small that wherever you sit, you will still hear the person or thing that’s bothering you, this is the simplest of all options. Ask your server if there’s another table you can be moved to so that you can eat in peace while the Loud Family carries on. You get your peace and quiet and no one else even has to know about the problem. Of course, this will only work if there’s someplace else for you to sit. If there isn’t, see below.

Related: Why the Music in a Restaurant Matters — for You and the Front of House

Have a waiter or manager ask them to be quiet

This choice requires involving restaurant staff. You aren’t in the mood for conflict so you ask your server to ask the offenders to tone it down. Here’s the thing, though. Your server doesn’t want to be involved any more than you do. If the other table is also part of their section the server runs the risk of being the messenger and getting shot — and by shot, I mean getting stiffed on a tip. The customer might be upset and since they can’t take it out on whoever complained about them, they might take it out on the server. Ask that the manager intervenes so the server can remain neutral in this conflict. Hopefully, the noisy neighbors get the message and all is good.

Related: Don't Believe in Tipping? Here's the Best Way to Handle It

Just leave

The staff will be happy to box up your food so you can go home where you are in control of everything. When we’re in public, we have no choice but to deal with other humans, be them loud or quiet. It’s the price we pay for humanity. I have 100% definitely been that person who was probably too loud at a restaurant, but I have never been told to be quiet. I now realize customers I’ve bothered must have chosen to sit and suffer or move away. I apologize to them, but if you’re ever sitting next to me at a restaurant and I’m too loud, the option is yours.

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