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I Don't Think I've Ever Laughed Harder At All These People Who Got Absolutely Roasted Into Oblivion This Year

1.On brain capacity:

genderoutlaws.tumblr.com

2.On hair:

reddit.com

3.On dinner:

all that food and you decide to eat at your desk

4.On baking bread:

Person posts a photo of a loaf of baked bread that looks extremely dense, saying "This is it lads, the worst loaf of bread I've ever made," with comment, "A toddler with a skateboard could get more air than that"
Twitter

5.On gaming:

  Facebook
Facebook

6.On dating:

spoken like the human equivalent to a bowl of bran flakes.

7.On steak:

Person posts a photo of sliced steak they cooked "for the first time" that looks raw, with comment, "What did you cook that under, a heated argument?"
Twitter

8.On spectacles:

Person posts photo of their prescription sunglasses that "are like half an inch thick," and someone comments, "They had to decommission two lighthouses to make those things"

9.On beauty:

Twitter: @insultsrare

10.On words:

  Twitter
Twitter

11.On chicken:

Person posts photo of chicken legs they air-fried, with plate propped on their leg and showing their bare foot, and someone responds, "Why are your feet seasoned better than the chicken?"
Facebook

12.On boom boom:

I'll see myself out.

13.On talking:

reddit.com

14.On car sales:

Not surprised
Facebook

15.On World War II:

Twitter: @storyslug

16.On surgery:

shut the hell your mouth

17.On clothes:

  Facebook
Facebook

18.On Google:

  Instragram
Instragram

19.On office views:

What are you? god's receptionist?
Facebook

20.On doing your best:

"If that's his best then"
Instagram

21.On libraries:

Person asks "Are there other visual novels without pictures? Like ones that are just dialogue and narration," and someone responds, "perhaps something at the library can help us"

22.On romance:

Screenshot of a post

23.On politics:

you're barely old enough to follow politics kid

24.On extraterrestrials:

You type like an alien who has discovered human language and is trying to use it for the first time
Twitter

25.On transportation:

"Get on a tractor for once in your life you sickening theater person"

26.On dolphins:

you are the piss lord of shit mountain.

27.On concessions:

Twitter: @upblissed

28.On cuisine:

Person posts photo of fries with very green peas and a stick of breaded meat or fish with caption, "British cuisine, best in the world," and someone responds, "The peas look like someone melted the toy soldiers from Toy Story"

29.On internet arguing:

Someone says "Screaming about it on the internet to people that generally share your values never fixed anything," and someone replies "it's written text, you can read it however you like; for example, I read your comment in Goofy's voice"
u/mollanj / Via reddit.com

30.On zombies:

Someone says something confusing ("How do thirst walk the thirst drink eat zombie the food, having problems reloading the zombie after dark") and gets told to check the battery in their carbon monoxide detector

31.On pay:

Person looking for a babysitter, paying $125/week for 5am-6pm; response: "Ah okay, so 52 cents/hour; good luck!"
Facebook

32.On January:

Someone says "just realized january is spelled the same forwards and backwards" and gets told "You can tell by a mf tweets the teacher used to hand back test test folded up in school"
Twitter

33.On children:

In response to handwritten sign "If your child puts hi/her hand in the topping you have to pay for the entire container," person responds, "The ones offended by the sign are the type of parents who have kids that smell like hot dog water"
Facebook

34.On Texas:

"They built Texas with infrastructure that's like 'let's hope it doesn't rain, snow, hail, get windy, stormy," and other weather; when someone responds, "L opinion go back to New Hampshire," they get, "how many cigarettes did ur parents force you to eat?"
Twitter

35.On the Earth:

I love flat earthers
Twitter

36.On corn:

"Loser, I feel like I could throw corn kernels on the ground in front of you and you'd peck them up like a chicken"; "What the fuck"
u/CAP2304 / Via reddit.com

37.On "manning up":

"Need to fucking grow a pair, women don't even know what they bloody want half the time — don't let them dictate what you can do!" Response: "There's a reason why you post in r/divorce" and "Oof"

38.On eggs:

"I like when you see people in the grocery store buying eggs because they always pick up the carton and open it like it's a metal briefcase full of cash in a drug deal"; response: "People are checking to see if any of the eggs are cracked you walnut"

39.On IQ:

Your iq is zero

40.On vacationing:

"I'll be 40, no kids, and people will say 'i'm sorry for you' and I'll be like how was the Wiggles reunion tour, I went to Italy"; "It's sad to think oneself more important than progeny"; "so the concert wasn't as good as you thought it would be, huh"

41.On pointlessness:

"Not even gonna bother with watching these pointless videos, the things people will do for attention," "Yeah, some people online are just constantly seeking attention—this one dude I met online even comments on videos he didn't even watch"

42.On spelling:

"I think of my paycheque like mana in a videogame," someone corrects them to "paycheck," they say "Oh sorry, I live in Canada where we spell things correctly," and person responds, "What a polite way to say fuck you"

43.On dogs:

Photo of a small white dog with golden ears and caption, "Mom's potato staring at me across the room," response: "This dog looks exactly like what Renaissance era painters thought dogs looked like"

44.On bathrooms:

Photo of an "All genders" bathroom sign with caption, "Kansas City airport! Hell no, I will not fly into this airport"; response: "Wait till she hears how the bathrooms on the plane work"

45.On the Civil War:

"The Civil War wasn't about slavery until the Union started losing; many Southern generals couldn't have cared less about slavery"; "So you have a degree in US history during that time? Because I do and that's the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard"
Facebook

46.On internet commenting:

"I can't think of anything I give a fuck less about," "And yet you wasted a minute writing this comment and another reading my reply"; response: "Sometimes it takes a minute or two to get a booger out of my nose, don't act like ur better than a booger"
u/EastSideDomi / Via reddit.com

47.On milk:

"Milk always goes good with pizza or spaghetti and meatballs," response: "I upvoted you because of the context of this post, but know that you do not deserve to be considered a human being"

48.On "the friend zone":

"Girls will pound themselves silly with a piece of plastic while leaving a good man that would love them till end of time in the friend zone," "Tony if someone leaves you for a piece of plastic, it's not the piece of plastic"
Facebook

49.On the American utopia:

"There's a tree working hard to make oxygen for you"
Facebook

50.On sustenance:

"can't imagine what it's like to grow my own food"
Facebook

Did you enjoy all those wacky pictures but really wish you could've been listening to some cool tunes while reading them? You're in luck, my friend. Check out this playlist of my favorite songs I listened to in 2023. Bless!