These 95 Funny Fall Jokes Are the Comic Re-leaf We All Need Right Now
When fall arrives, so do many other social events on the calendar. From back-to-school planning to getting ready to kick off the holiday season, a lot is going on from the moment it begins. And all of the planning — including deciding on family Halloween costumes and coming up with fall-themed captions for your Instagram posts to picking out Thanksgiving dinner recipes — can get a bit stressful, which is why sometimes you need to crack some short and funny fall jokes to keep your spirits up.
A good joke can make you laugh, make you think, or sometimes even make you roll your eyes — after all, who doesn’t love a good dad joke or a punny one-liner? But the one thing every fall joke has in common is that it’s going to make you smile. So, take a break from worrying about which Thanksgiving tradition you’ll honor this year, push pause on all those kid-friendly Halloween movies you have queued up on Netflix, and take a few moments to tell your family and friends some of these fall-themed knee slappers. It doesn’t matter if they find them corny, or if they think your humor is unbe-leaf-able, as long as they make everyone happy!
How did the tree get a new job? She had the right qua-leaf-ications.
What is the best book to read in autumn? Gourd of the Rings.
Why was the man shopping for Reynolds Wrap? His wife wanted to see fall foilage.
Why did the turkey cross the road? Because it was the chicken’s day off.
Why was the robot couple’s anniversary in the fall? They were autumn mated.
Woman's Day Why did the apple pie go to the dentist? Because it needed a filling.
What do Jedi trees say to each other in the fall? May the forest be with you.
What do you call a small pepper in late autumn? A little chili
What do farmers wear under their shirt when they’re cold? A har-vest.
How do trees get on the Internet? They just log on.
What can a whole apple do that half an apple can’t do? It can look round.
Woman's Day Why shouldn’t you tell a secret in a cornfield? Because the corn has ears.
How do you fix a broken pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch!
What happened when the turkey got in a fight? The stuffing was knocked out of him.
What is it called when a tree takes some time off? Paid leaf.
What kind of music did the Pilgrims listen to? Plymouth Rock.
Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn so much? Because he had a great fall.
Why did the pumpkin lose the boxing match? He let his gourd down.
What do lumberjacks shout at the start of fall? Sep-timberrrrrr!
Why do trees hate going to school in the fall? Because they’re easily stumped.
What’s the best band to listen to in autumn? The Spice Girls
What did the leaf say to the other leaf? I’m falling for you.
Why do birds fly south for the fall? Because it’s quicker than walking.
Why did the tree decide to start taking art classes? She wanted to branch out.
What’s the biggest fall phenomenon in Australia? The Great Barrier Leaf.
Why are trees so carefree and easygoing? Because every fall, they let loose.
Woman's Day Why did the scarecrow win a Nobel Prize? He was outstanding in his field.
What’s the best thing to put into a pumpkin pie? Your teeth.
What do the leaves say before they hibernate? Rake me up when September ends.
What happens when winter arrives? Autumn leaves.
Why did the Jack-o’-lantern look after the pie? They were pump-kin.
What is it called when a tree doesn’t think it’s autumn? Disbe-leaf.
What’s the saddest side dish? Sweet potato cries.
What do pirates wear in autumn? Pumpkin patches.
What kind of key can’t open doors? A turkey.
What do turkeys eat for dessert? Peach gobbler.
What do you call the ghost of a chicken? A poultry-geist.
Why’s it so easy to trick a leaf in October? They fall for anything.
What did the apple say to the pie baker? Use cherries instead.
Why is autumn the proudest season? It’s fall of it.
What do short-sighted ghouls wear? Spooktacles.
If the Pilgrims were still alive, what would they be most famous for? Their age.
Why are apples so bad in interrogations? They always crumble.
How do leaves get from place to place? Autumn-mobiles.
What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half of a worm!
What is the cutest season? Aww-tumn.
What’s the ratio of a pumpkin’s circumference to its diameter? Pumpkin Pi.
How are you supposed to talk in the apple library? With your in-cider voice.
What’s an elephant’s favorite vegetable? Squash.
Who lives in the scary Hundred Acre Wood? Winnie the Boo.
What happens to a horse refuses to pull a wagon through the pumpkin patch? It becomes a neigh ride.
Who won the skeleton beauty contest? No body.
Woman's Day Why did the apple pie cry? Its peelings were hurt!
Why was nobody scared of the tree? His bark was worse than his bite.
Why did the lions move at the end of summer? Because the pride goeth before the fall!
What is a scarecrow’s favorite fruit? Straw-berries.
What’s James Bond’s favorite hot drink? Pumpkin spy-ce latte.
What room are ghosts not allowed to enter? The living room.
What’s a fire's least favorite month? No-ember.
What did the ground say when fall came? Well, that’s a re-leaf.
Woman's Day What should you do when you witness a crime in the forest? Report it to the leaf of police.
What part did the turkeys play in the Thanksgiving Day parade? They played their drumsticks.
Which pumpkins can swim the best? The coast gourd.
What’s a ghost’s favorite nursery rhyme? Little BOO Peep.
What time of year do people get injured the most? In the fall.
66. Why did the apple pie cross the road? It saw a fork up ahead.
67. Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall? He had to make up for a lousy summer!
68. What has ears but can't hear a thing? A cornfield.
69. Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad fall is here?
70. What do you call someone who imitates your fall centerpiece? A corn-u-copier.
71. What do you call a pumpkin that works at the beach? A life gourd.
72. What reads and lives in an apple? A bookworm.
73. What did August say to October? Wake me when September ends.
74. Why did the tree giggle? It heard acorn-y joke.
75. What do you call a cold day in September? Septem-brrrrrr.
76. Where do ghosts like to vacation? The boo-hamas.
77. Why does everyone love October? Because it's the month that everyone falls for.
78. What did the gourd say to the latte when they met in September? Let's give em pumpkin to talk about!
79. How did the turkey get to Thanksgiving dinner on time? He took the gravy train.
80. Why won't the jack-o-lantern visit a haunted house? Because he has no guts.
81. Why did the apple stop in the middle of the road? It ran out of juice.
82. Why do ghosts love to ride the elevator? Because it raises their spirits.
83. What's the most negative month in the fall? NO-vember.
84. How did the pumpkin get straight A's in school? He was always ahead of the carve.
85. Where do pumpkin CEOs hold their meetings? In the gourd room.
86. How did the little pumpkin cross the road? With the help of a crossing gourd.
87. How do you surprise a pumpkin? You catch them off-gourd.
88. What do you say to make an apple pie blush? "I have a crust on you."
89. What's a tree's favorite thing to drink? Root beer.
90. When should you make a jack-o-lantern? Whenever you can carve out the time.
91. What did the bisque say about the fall weather? These cool temperatures are soup-er.
92. When is a pumpkin not a pumpkin? When it gets squashed.
93. Why did the little leaf go to the school nurse? He was feeling green.
94. Did you hear about the kid who had too much pumpkin pie? He got autumn'y ache.
95. Why didn't the pumpkin want to go to Halloweentown? He wanted to avoid the seedy part of the city.
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