75 People Who Woke Up One Morning This Year And Promptly Destroyed Their Entire Lives
1.The person whose bathroom is completely frozen solid:
2.The person whose car just got a stake through the heart:
3.The person who got a beautiful dress for a rotisserie chicken:
4.The person who spilled black paint tastefully up and down their carpeted stairs:
5.The person whose shoes just got a whole lot heavier:
6.The person who will henceforth be known as "Suburban Hulk":
7.The person who has their couch riiiiight where they want it:
8.The person who accidentally gave their baby the most beautiful name:
9.The person who experienced true tragedy:
10.The person who is going to see white paint in their nightmares for the rest of their life:
11.The person whose jeans just got a fresh, new makeover:
12.The person who's about to make three new friends:
13.The person who might not be there after all:
14.The person who had the worst kind of surprise:
15.The person whose strand of hair is now ready to enter the afterlife:
16.The person whose AirPod is on the trip of a lifetime:
17.The person whose car is on an island all its own:
18.The person who might want to get the heat turned on:
19.The person who's going to spend the next 5 to 10 years of their life reorganizing these cards:
20.The person whose vacation is about to get seriously derailed:
21.The person who just put up the saddest sale of all time:
22.The person who did the thing:
23.The person who'd better grab themself a mop:
24.The person who is going to have to Flintstones their way home:
Yabba dabba dang...
25.The person whose sandwich is an affront to all things good and tasty:
26.The person with the cleanest car this side of the mighty Mississipp':
27.The person who just invented a new flavor of oatmeal:
28.The person whose drinks shall never be warm again:
29.The person whose rear end is about to be experiencing subzero temperatures:
30.The person who had their guitar opened up a bit:
31.The person who probably should have taken those muffins out a few seconds earlier:
32.The person whose TV was no match for their Winter Candy Apple–scented candle:
33.The person who gambled and lost:
34.The person who did the unthinkable:
35.The person whose car no longer belongs to them:
36.The person whose car got into a tiny little accident:
37.The person who got the Michael Scott special in the hospital:
38.The person who was betrayed by the suction:
39.The person who was kind enough to give the gift of dental care to a friendly roach:
40.The person who created a casual death beam in their car:
41.The person who's cookin' up some good old fashioned fried iPhone, just like mom used to make:
42.The person who just got a brand-new 65-inch Flysung OLED:
43.The person who had the unthinkable happen to them:
44.The person who knows that nothing but despair lies beyond this door:
45.The person whose wrist shall never be itched:
Sad state of affairs.
46.The person whose cash savings are now experiencing exponential growth (of mold):
47.The person who was kind enough to share their skewer with some tiny, little critters:
48.The person who needs to never, ever try to make bread again:
49.The person who added a little extra flavor to their eggs:
50.The person who might have made a tiny mistake:
51.The person with the biggest spoon this side of the mighty Mississipp':
52.The person who made a big, big, big, big mistake:
53.The person who had a little trouble with the creatures of the deep:
54.The person who will live the rest of their days like Nosferatu:
55.The person whose credit card is in credit card heaven now:
56.The person whose couch print will provide future archaeologists with a special glimpse into the way people used to eat it in 2024:
57.The person who is getting ready to shave their entire bathroom:
58.The person whose truck is going to be a major factor at the LA Olympics in 2028:
59.The person who might want to flee the country:
60.The person who was kind enough to share some dental hygiene tips with their cat:
61.The person whose bacon is approximately 97.85% fat:
62.The person who is currently being sonned by a fruit fly:
63.The person who will now spend eternity cleaning up little balls:
64.The person who learned a lesson as old as time:
65.The person whose truck lost its battle with the beach:
66.The person whose mom likes her iPads super toasty:
67.The person who straight-up went William Tell mode on their cellphone:
68.The person who is going to be cleaning goop out of their oven until the cows come home:
69.The person who loves all their pets very much, I'm sure:
70.The person who will never, ever forgive the birds who did this:
71.The person who AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA:
72.The person who was kind enough to share their croissant with a friend:
73.The person who will have a very long time to sit and think about what they've done until high tide:
74.The person who miiiight have answered this question incorrectly:
75.And the person who allllllmost got the job:
Better luck next year.
