"It Stings, And It Isn't Even True": 14 Extremely Popular Everyday "Beliefs" That Caused Way More Harm Than Good In Our Society

Over time, certain beliefs have become so popular that they become part of the cultural norm — unfortunately, though, not all beliefs are healthy and good. So when Reddit user PhenomenalPancake asked: "What toxic belief is far too common?" a ton of people gave their honest opinions on the matter. Here's what they said below.

1."Justifying bad behavior because someone did the same to you. Someone else acting poorly is not an excuse for you to act poorly."

—cubbie_blues

"This is what I’ve spent the last seven years teaching as a school counselor. Their actions reflect on them. Your actions reflect on you. I’m not saying you have to roll over and take it. I’m saying if you want to be a good person, you can’t spend your life doing awful things because someone deserved it."

—Cardboard_dad

2."That family has to tolerate each other no matter how reprehensible their behavior is. If someone is going to be a tumor in your life, you cut the tumor out. If they don't like that, then they can start behaving."

—Lugbor

"My mother-in-law's answer to why she tolerated bad behavior from others was: 'But they're family.'

My response was: 'They're not acting like it, so they don't get treated like it.'"

—trefrosk

3."That you can just will yourself out of depression and/or chronic medical conditions."

—Traditional-Hat-952

"Or, if you have ADHD, you 'just need to focus.' That's the key thing my brain sucks at is focusing.

For any mental health issue: 'It's all in your head.' It's kinda technically correct because that is where my brain is — but that doesn't mean it's imaginary!"

—ecodrew

4."That hard work guarantees success."

—None

"If that were true, there would be an enormous upper middle class. Being a hard worker in most industries leads you to be held back because your productivity is extremely valuable. They promote lazy people and, of course, nepotism, lovers and scorned lovers."

—Fury161Houston

5."The customer is always right."

—HelgaGeePataki

6."That you should always be happy and thankful your situation isn't worse. Your mom could die, and people will be like, 'Smile because you had so many years with your mom while others die of cancer at eight.' And it's like, 'Damn, Linda. I'm allowed to be sad sometimes.' (My mom is alive and well; this was just an example.)"

—None

"I grew up with this guilt trip, too. My world changed when I saw an illustration once that said something like: 'Saying you're not allowed to be sad because others have it worse would mean you can't be happy because others have it better.'"

—Reinardd

7."Women are 'too emotional' to do a 'man’s job.'"

—rawhoneyb

8."'We don't owe anyone anything' took a big hit to people being kind just to be kind. People want a reward for kindness now, or some kind of incentive to be a good person. There shouldn't have to be an incentive to want to help others."

—draculeshanks

9."That other people gaining rights will somehow remove your own."

—VocationFumes

"To the privileged, equality looks like oppression."

—lazydogjumper

10."That as soon as you and your friend have your first argument, you're no longer friends."

—RoseWould

"My mother shucked off friends all her life over tiny incidents. Wild."

—subsonic

11."'If they pick on you, it means that they have a crush on you.' I absolutely LOATHE this comment because it justifies people’s asshole behavior to them liking you, and it implies that you have to just take it because their intentions aren’t really 'bad.' Plus, regardless if they bully you because they like you or not, it’s still really shitty behavior and completely unattractive."

—theVastlycreative

"A classmate tried to tell my kid that crap last year. Mad props to their school’s therapist because the kid told the classmate that it sounded like a 'him' problem and that if he wanted to be her friend, he should act like one."

—caffeinated_dropbear

12."Men shouldn't show emotions (other than anger, which is apparently manly)."

—limbodog

"Oh my god, I've met so many men who have been damaged by this! They can't open up because of massive social pressure; they get a mental illness, isolated, suicidal, etc."

—cassienebula

13."That introverts are lonely and need to be pushed to get out and do more. That there's no way someone can enjoy being at home away from the crowd and be happy. That they must be antisocial and lame and boring. That introverts are shy and just need to 'come out of their shell.' And that you need to change them to be 'better' and 'more fun' just like you and save them from their sad selves."

—Illustrious_Button37

14.And finally, "'You have to love yourself before you can love anybody else.' Just because someone identifies as self-loathing does not mean that they are incapable of showing the same kind of compassion and self-sacrifice as emotionally healthier people can. You can hate yourself but still love others, and I think it's a bit... rude for armchair psychologists to say such things and discount the love of another person just because they have some things they haven't forgiven themselves for. Maybe they should find a better way to advise others towards healing because that shit gets repeated often, it stings, and it isn't even true."

—Joe-Schmeaux

Is there a toxic belief that you believe is far too common? Let us know what it is and why in the comments below.