Adults Over 40 Are Sharing Tiny Decisions That Changed The Course Of Their Lives, And It's Fascinating
Humans make millions of decisions in their lifetimes, and some of them that seem small at the time can change our lives entirely. With the benefit of time, we can often look back and see which of those decisions actually ended up being truly significant. I was curious about people's small but ultimately life-changing decisions, so I asked the adults over 40 of the BuzzFeed Community to share their stories. Here's what they had to say:
1."After college, I took a job as an au pair in Switzerland. I’d only been out of the country once and never to Central Europe. I ended up staying abroad for most of my twenties and thirties. I’ve been to 40 countries and have friends from all over the globe. The best decision I ever made was to get out of my comfort zone and see the world."
2."I said yes to a date with a guy who had kids. I can’t have kids, and I had always said no to dating someone with kids because I knew I would get attached and things could go sideways. I knew he had kids when I said yes to hanging out, but I thought, 'What could it hurt?' I loved everything about him after a couple of dates. Three years later, I’m a mom to our two girls (we don’t consider ourselves 'step' anything), and I have a life I never dreamed possible."
—Stephanie, 42, Tennessee
3."I've always wanted to be a midwife but got talked out of it when I was young. A teaching career, a marriage, three kids, and a divorce later, and at the age of 38, I decided to take a punt and apply. Four years later, I'm about to graduate with a first-class honors degree in midwifery and my dream job. 🥰"
4."Leaving a line of work I had already put almost eight years into to pivot to something else, and I am so glad I did it. I was making a lot of money, but I was at the point where I was digging myself into a niche position, and I didn’t enjoy it at all. Despite taking a pay cut, I now do something more suited to my personality, have a better supervisor and great co-workers, and am fully remote. I have a work-life balance that actually works for me, and I’m not as stressed or going to dark places mentally. I was really scared I was making a bad decision transitioning to something new, but no amount of pay is worth my mental and physical health."
5."My uni place fell through, and I ended up at my second choice. If I hadn't, I'd never have met my husband in Freshers week and had a lovely little family. It's been 22 years, and I've never regretted anything for a second."
6."When I got my class schedule for 9th grade, I had a theater class on there. I never signed up for theater. When I went to the counseling center to change it, they talked me into trying it out for a semester to see if I liked it. I met my best friend there. My entire high school years were all focused on my theater classes. All my friends were from my theater class. After high school, my best friend moved out of state, and I followed her. I met my (now ex-) husband there and have 4 amazing kids because of this decision. We are 54 and still get together twice a year to catch up."
—Janette, 54, Utah
7."When I was in college, an internship was required for my degree. I had two major requirements: 1) It had to be paid, and 2) I had to be able to commit to it before the end of the fall semester because I was doing study abroad in the spring. The company that made me an offer was in a specialized field that I hadn't ever thought about. But I enjoyed working for them, and they offered me a full-time job when I graduated. It's now 25 years later, and I've spent all but a few years working in that same specialized area — all because I needed a paid internship when I was 20."
8."My baby was four months old, and I was going crazy staying at home. I searched for any activity I could do with a baby so young and found a music class at my local park. That is where I found my best friends for life. Nineteen years later, we all travel together, and our daughters have matching tattoos!"
—Anonymous
9."Back in high school, I was one of the few girls who took woodshed class as an elective. The teacher let the girls choose who they sat beside because he wanted to make sure we felt comfortable with our deskmates. When it was my time to choose, he asked me if I was OK with sitting beside Jack. Jack popped his head up from his desk and just beamed at me, so I shrugged and said, 'OK.' We became good friends, and 10 years after high school, we got married, had a kid, and are celebrating 15 years of a happy marriage! We would never have talked if I hadn't let him sit next to me because he was too shy to approach me first!"
—Carmen, 41, Florida
10."I picked up a second major in college and had to choose an English class. I picked a freshman-level creative writing class (as a junior) because it seemed the least difficult. On the first day of class, I was randomly paired up with this guy who was also a junior taking an easy elective credit. The professor encouraged a very interactive class and always had us collaborating, which led to me talking to this guy all the time. We’ve now been together for 13 years, married for 6, and have a beautiful 3-year-old daughter."
11."Decided at the age of 42 to take a mountain bike jumps and drops class. Ended up dislocating my shoulder, tore my labrum, severed my supraspinatus, and fractured my humeral head — all of this required surgery and extensive rehab. Days after my injury, I was fired from my job. Before my accident, many people had suggested that I get my Project Management Professional (PMP) certification. With a full-time job and a very involved hobby (triathlon), I didn't have the time to take a class and do a ton of studying, so it was never on my radar. After my surgery, I had all the time in the world, so I studied for and passed my PMP. Getting my PMP has opened up many doors for me, including switching fields of expertise (environmental engineering to IT), and I'm now the Director of an IT Project Management Office for a large service organization. If I hadn't taken that jumping class, I wouldn't be where I am today."
—Anonymous, 48, Colorado
12."I’ve loved The Lord of the Rings movies since they came out. Watching them and the special features first introduced me to the beauty of New Zealand. The more I found out, the more wonderful the country seemed. So I moved there. Hands down, the best 5 years of my life."
—Anonymous, 40, Ontario
13."When I was 20, I decided to move from a small New England town down to Miami. I used a roommate search website and reached out to rent a house's third bedroom/bathroom (consequentially, with a photo of a good-looking guy instead of the place itself). After the road trip down to Miami, I met the owner of the house, who was not the guy in the photo and gave off troll vibes. I thanked him for his time and panicked, trying to work out an alternative as I moved without a backup plan, but decided to go back to meet the other roommate as I said I would. I met the other roommate (the guy from the photo), who was absolutely charming and sweet. I moved in, then moved out a few months later...with the charming roommate who became my husband. We married within two years and were divorced within two years, but I'll never regret it. I married a wonderful man, and it sent me on the trajectory of the truly wonderful life I have now."
—Megan, 41
14."I got married at 18, divorced at 21. I learned early that I never needed to do that shit ever again. It was a traumatic experience, but if it hadn’t happened, I most certainly wouldn’t be the easygoing and liberated eccentric that I am now."
15."I took a job in a new city. Before, I had been a star player at my old job, and I loved my career (for which I hold a high-level degree), but in this new city, I hated my job and eventually left my career altogether. When I switched careers, I thought I’d be in a tailspin — but instead, I have realized that I never really enjoyed that first career much anyway, and my new path is amazing! Sometimes, what feels like the end of an era is really the start of a masterpiece."
—Anonymous
Hearing these stories, are you reminded of tiny decisions that changed your life? Inspired to make some changes? I want to hear all about it!
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and clarity.