"It's Not Worth Sacrificing Yourself": 21 Impactful Lessons Adults Are Urging Younger People To Realize Before It's Too Late

As someone in their 20s, I'm always open to hearing some life advice, especially if it comes from people who were once in my shoes. Recently, members of the BuzzFeed Community shared the significant lessons they want younger people to know before it's too late, and they're so important. Here are some of the life lessons that show it's never too late — or too early — to learn something new:

1."Enjoy your children when they are young, before they leave the nest and start living their own lives. I was so busy working, maintaining a home, and trying to keep the strife in my marriage at bay that I didn't always take the time to enjoy being together."

A father is playing with his daughter

—Anonymous

Momo Productions / Getty Images

2."It's not worth sacrificing yourself and your mental health for anyone, regardless of who they are. Even if that person is related to you, you should always prioritize your health."

—Anonymous, 56

3."Marriage isn't a necessity. I am of another generation, and I wish I'd known that I had another choice. Even when it comes to having children — if you want a child, have one! But don't feel that you have to get married to do so. I am not the same person I was 40, 20, 5, or even 1 year ago. I've done the career, the family, and the lot, but I'm ever changing, evolving, and growing. Now I just want my independence and to live out the rest of my life the way I want."

A couple stands in front of red church doors. The man wears a light suit, and the woman wears a fur coat and holds a bouquet. Names of individuals not provided

—Anonymous, 60

Jena Ardell / Getty Images

4."Understand and accept that some people are just bad people. Don't try to fix them, and don't give them more than a couple of chances to prove themselves."

—Anonymous, 36

5."I wish I'd figured out sooner that people don't care what you're doing or what you look like nearly as much as you might worry they do. Most people are worried about themselves and their own issues; they're not going to fixate on your not-done nails or the stain on your pants."

A woman is staring at herself in a mirror
Tetra Images / Getty Images/Tetra images RF

6."Good things don't really come to those who wait. Good things come to those who work their asses off and never give up."

—Anonymous

7."Become financially literate and keep learning! Plan in your 20s for retirement, and don't get caught up in influencer culture and their lifestyles. Many influencers are still working on top of posting content. I can't stress how important it is to be financially literate, especially for women. It is so important to be smart with our finances and not be dependent on anyone. I drilled this lesson into my daughter, and now she is financially on track, single and child-free, and taking steps to buy her first home."

A woman is calculating finances on her calculator
D3sign / Getty Images

8."Life isn't a competition in so many ways. Don't compare where you are with where other people your age are, and don't listen to people who try to compare you and your life with other people, either. Life isn't a competition, and just because someone else may seem more successful, nobody but them knows the details of their life. They may seem more successful in one area of life, but they could be completely miserable in another."

mattg4edbacdbc

9."When you are in a relationship and see red flags — like boundaries not being respected, love bombing, gaslighting — pay attention to your gut and beware. Always pay attention to your instincts, because you'll most likely always be right."

A woman with long hair sits at a kitchen table looking anxious, hands on her face. Another person holds a mug in the foreground

—Anonymous

Catherine Falls Commercial / Getty Images

10."Don't wait to be happy — just be happy. Don't wait until you have the perfect job, the perfect partner, the perfect body, the perfect house, etc. You can be happy now."

—Bernie, 49, California

11."Toxic people can be family, and your family isn't always blood-related. I have family who have nothing to do with me biologically but whom I love wholeheartedly. Sometimes our 'blood family' is toxic and not good for us, and it's okay to let them go and protect your peace. It might seem selfish, but it's really not. You are not responsible for their behavior."

A woman is sitting at the edge of a bed, visibly upset

—Tina, 50-ish

Irinamunteanu / Getty Images/RooM RF

12."Vote — even in the midterms. Heck, especially in the midterms."

meow_mix

13."A few years ago, I made a New Year's resolution to be more courteous: Smile more, say please and thank you, shake hands, empathize, sympathize, and be nice even if I don't feel like it. Doing so has paid off in ways I can't even describe. I've found that when you ask for something and say please, people are genuinely surprised (which is sad). Saying thank you to everyone, including service workers, has a result of making you and them feel wonderful. I make the same resolution each year, and every time I have the opportunity to be deliberately courteous to someone, it makes me feel so good inside, especially when I see their smile. So be nice, be kind, and be genuine whenever possible."

A cashier is smiling

—Renie, 71

Jacoblund / Getty Images/iStockphoto

14."Life goes by really, really fast. Sometimes I feel like I went to bed in college and woke up in my 50s. Life isn't nearly as long as we think it is, and we spend a lot of time thinking about and doing stuff that doesn't matter 20 years later, and sometimes not even 20 minutes later. So take everything in, and don't be afraid to slow down."

janetsever86

15."This isn't life-altering advice, but please take care of your skin."

Older woman applying makeup with a brush, standing in front of a mirror

merinc

Fg Trade / Getty Images

16."Don't let injuries and pain go untreated if you have the means (time, money, resources, etc.) to get help. I've had chronic pain from injuries I got when I was younger, but I never really attempted to get them addressed until recently. Because I put off taking care of it, it's going to be a lot harder for me to undo the damage I've done to my body."

ambershoey

17."It is okay to leave a marriage or a long-term relationship. It does not make you a failure. When you heal and reflect, you will feel better about choosing your own happiness over keeping up appearances or making it work with someone you aren't compatible with anymore. Family will eventually understand. You will figure out how to support yourself financially, and your kids will be happy if you are happy."

An older couple are embracing on the bed

—Jasmania, 30, New Jersey

Justin Paget / Getty Images

18."If you're 'different,' don't despair! Eventually, you will find your people. Growing up, I was shy and anxious and loved books and paint-by-numbers sets. My mother despaired at my lack of social skills and would force me to go to things like dances and club meetings. I felt so wrong. But as I got older, I began meeting people similar to me! So, nurture your persona. Let yourself grow, find the things you love, and stick to your guns! Chances are good that you'll discover others who 'get' you."

applesauceandchops

19."I think my father shared with me one of the best insights: 'Learn to laugh at yourself, especially as you get older.' At 68 years young, I'm beginning to understand just what he meant!"

A trio of older women are dancing and laughing
Filippobacci / Getty Images

20."Don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm."

baobaopanda

21.Lastly: "As you get older, losing the ones you love becomes more 'common.' Sometimes, you don't know if you'll see someone for the last time, so let the ones you love know how you feel. I lost both my parents with so much left unsaid, and the 'I'll tell them later' obviously never came to be. They needed to hear so much from me. Do what you need to do and say what you need to say because tomorrow is often a promise unfulfilled."

Two men, one older with glasses and one younger, share a joyful moment with arms around each other on a beach at dusk. Both are smiling warmly
Ippei Naoi / Getty Images

BRB, currently writing all of these down for future reference! If you're an adult over 30, what are some life lessons you wish you'd learned way earlier in life? Let me know in the comments, or you can anonymously submit your words of wisdom through this form!

Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.