Allison Holker Says She Relies 'Heavily' on Her Nanny to Help Co-Parent Her 3 Kids: 'Second Mom' (Exclusive)
"Of course I'm the parent, but I respect her so much that her opinion matters in our home as well," Holker says
Allison Holker/Instagram
Allison Holker and her three kidsAllison Holker knows it takes a village to raise her kids — and luckily, she has a great one.
The professional dancer and So You Think You Can Dance judge, 36, spoke with PEOPLE about her partnership with CorePower Yoga for Mental Health Awareness Month in May, opening up about how she found her community to help raise her three kids — Weslie, 15, Maddox, 8, and Zaia, 4, who she shares with late husband Stephen tWitch Boss.
"I am so close to my family, but they all live in Utah. And I think the fact that I've been in L.A . for 14 years now, it can be intimidating trying to find your community, trying to find your people," Holker tells PEOPLE. "And so it's something that I really celebrate, that I worked really hard in cultivating this family out here, my chosen family."
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Speaking about her nanny, Holker says, "She is my nanny, she's worked with me for eight years now, but she's my sister."
"My kids see her as their big sister, second mom. Some people probably meet us and think we're married at this point because every decision I make, we make together. And I'm not shy about that," she continues.
"Of course I'm the parent, but I respect her so much that her opinion matters in our home as well, even if it's different than mine. And so I just really respect that she has been such a player in our lives for so long."
Holker, whose husband died by suicide on Dec. 13, 2022, at age 40, shares that she's been able to rely on her nanny throughout everything her family has been through in the last few years.
"We just rely so much and so heavily on each other, and she's hugely helping me raise these children. And she's absolutely the most wonderful example of being a fabulous woman, sister, mentor, friend, therapist, colleague, all of it. She wears so many hats in this house. And so wonderful."
Elsewhere in the interview, Holker opened up about how she approaches the topic of mental health with her kids, saying that the “biggest conversation we have as a family is to talk.”
“I want my kids to feel so safe and comfortable with me that no matter what they're feeling, no matter how scary it is, how big of a topic it is, how little of a topic it is, nothing is off the table, and I just want them feeling like they can get it off of their chest. And if I'm not that safe person, let's find you that safe person to talk about it with,” she adds.
The mom of three shares that being transparent with her kids and letting her guard down has been a "huge life lesson."
“I'm still on this journey with them. Because I think as a parent, we always want to know or look like we have the answers. And at this point in my life now, I'm sometimes like, ‘I don't know, but I'll certainly try to figure it out with you,’ ” Holker says.
“We're all in this together, and it doesn't matter how old you are, how young you are, we're all in these journeys of life, we're all students of life, and we just got to work together, communicate and support one another through it.”
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