Ashley Park on her boyfriend, Emily in Paris season 4 and surviving sepsis
It was about 5am when the ghost started haunting Ashley Park. She was straight off a much-delayed flight from Los Angeles and eager to finally get some sleep in her Manhattan hotel room. Alas, the supernatural world had other plans.
The door suddenly swung open on its own, making the actor bolt upright in bed. “I don’t even believe in this stuff!” Ashley laughs later that day when we meet for fettuccine, fries, and espresso martinis —the “comfort food” she needs. “I swear something was there. It scared the crap out of me.”
That’s saying something, because at this point, you’d think it would take a lot to frighten Ashley. She survived leukemia as a teen and theater school as a young adult. She won over Broadway’s notoriously picky audiences as Gretchen in Mean Girls, nabbing a Tony Award nomination in the process. She’s endured auditions where the only feedback was 'No, you’re Asian' and held her own onscreen with Meryl Streep and Selena Gomez (Only Murders in the Building), Ali Wong (Beef), and Sherry Cola (Joy Ride). And this past January, she was hospitalised for more than a month with septic shock. Doctors thought she might die; instead, she got out of bed and filmed the fourth season of Emily in Paris (which dropped on Netflix in two parts, on 15th August and 12th September.)
Through it all, Ashley has publicly transmitted an unrelenting 'happy but chill' aura. Her halogen smile, glossy hair, and sunny-yet-structured style (pink Balmain tweeds and black Nina Ricci ruffles mixed with The Everygirl athleisure) are the visual version of a 'Trust me, I’M FINE' text. On anyone else, this vibe would come off annoyingly fake. On Ashley, it somehow feels refreshingly natural —because it’s grounded in her childhood experience with cancer, she says. “I’m so used to people thinking I’m not okay. Believe me, I’m great. I’ll let you know otherwise.”
Honestly, in hindsight, even the ghost didn’t unnerve her *that* much. “I was very forcefully like, ‘Get out of my room!’” she explains. “I think it worked.” Well enough, at least, for her to get a couple more hours of much-needed sleep before taking a long shower and making her way down the street to meet me...much to the delight of the brunch-bound girl gangs who gawk and squeal. “People used to just yell, ‘Hey, Emily in Paris!’ when they saw me,” she says. “Now everybody calls me Ashley.”
“Still,” she pauses, “‘Celebrity’ is a really weird word.”
It’s one she must accept — and soon with a capital C. After Emily in Paris, she’ll appear with Alexandra Daddario in the film A Tree Fell in the Woods, written and directed by Daisy Jones and The Six alum Nora Kirkpatrick. Ashley is now a front-row regular at fashion shows in New York and Paris and a global brand ambassador for Pandora jewellery. She’s also uniquely adept at engaging and entertaining her millions of social media followers via candid posts spreading awareness about sepsis or so-cute-you-want-to-hate-them-but-you-can’t videos with her onscreen love interest/real-life boyfriend, actor and model Paul Forman.
Can she still remain grounded with so much on her plate? Yes, she says, especially because of some new boundaries and the support of besties like Florence Pugh and Lily Collins, whom she texted in the middle of ghostgate. “Lily said the ghost was probably just lonely,” Ashley relays. Or maybe, like her millions of fans worldwide, it just wanted to hang out with her.
So, Ashley, *extreme Joey Tribbiani voice here* How you doin’?
I’m better now than I was an hour ago, which is always good. That’s my goal throughout the day. I actually hate this question, but I liked it this time. I think the Joey Tribbiani voice was a good call.
I know you’re very used to people asking if you’re alright.1 Do you ever wish you’d kept your cancer private?
No. It was such a big part of what was happening with me, and it was going to affect me forever. If people didn’t know that, it would feel false in some kind of way.
1.Right as we sat down to chat at The Whitby Hotel, Hollywood power couple Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen approached our table to take a selfie video with Ashley. (Their son, Charlie McDowell, is married to Emily in Paris’s Lily Collins.) “Charlie, you should be a ballerina!” the three of them yelled into the camera, replying to a photo Charlie had texted Ashley of him in a perfect fifth position. Then Mary grabbed Ashley’s hands and, in the most motherly way possible, said, “Oh, girl, we are so glad you are okay.”
Where exactly were you when you recently got sick?
When I went to the emergency room and intensive care for the first time, I was in the Maldives with Paul. I don’t think I would’ve made it without him. Everybody else was on the other side of the world from us.
What happened?
Paul had been filming for two months on a show called Stags.2 I had been all over the place. But for both of us, our love language is quality time. So we did Christmas with his family in Thailand, and then we went on our own New Year’s Eve holiday. I only packed bikinis! Once I got there, I got really sick with tonsillitis. Then everything really started going wrong. I was in different ICUs and then air ambulances for a month. I couldn’t leave because I wasn’t allowed to fly. When I finally could, it was a shorter distance to Paris than to LA, so I had to go straight to Paris to recover, not home.
2. A stag-party-gone-wrong thriller available on Paramount+
When did you find out how bad it really was?
When I woke up in the hospital and they said, “You have septic shock.” And I was like, “Oh my gosh, I am shocked I have sepsis!”
I’m sorry, but that is hysterical.
This is why I like comedy so much! As we were starting to recount stuff, Paul noticed that. He was like, “Wow, you already have the bright points ready to say to people to make it accessible and funny.”
Is comedy part of your wellness routine?
Absolutely. It makes it easier. As an adult, I understand what coping mechanisms are. Stuff I didn’t know when I was a teenager. And even though both of the extreme illnesses I’ve had have been such flukes in a way — no one who’s 15 should have cancer, and no one who’s my age should have septic shock — I feel lucky, actually. It’s been kind of a miracle how I’ve recovered.
Do you think sepsis taught you anything?
I pushed myself too far. I was not listening to my body. Now, I’m thinking about my future and asking, 'Am I putting myself in a position where I’m going to be able to do my best?' That starts with my health. I’m getting back to my old self. I look and feel better, and I’m trying to stay as stable as I can and keep the same energy that people expect.
What are some of the ways you take care of yourself?
When I first moved to New York, I worked at Juice Press [a New York based juice chain]. I got cast in Mamma Mia! and I loved working at Juice Press so much that I was like, 'I’m just going to keep working here.' I got a 50 percent discount! To this day, as soon as I feel like I’m not well or really tired from any kind of work, if I can get a cold-pressed green juice and a ginger shot, I’m like, 'I’m good.'
I’ve asked several people about you, including some of your castmates and directors, and they all say the same thing —
Oh, god.
— which is that you’re an “angel human.” Like, those exact words have come out of three people’s mouths.3
I think that’s hilarious, because I consider myself messy to a fault sometimes. Not literally — I’m actually very neat. But emotionally, I’m too open and honest. I don’t know how to be anything else. Maybe that’s what people find angelic? Whether it be sepsis, cancer, or mean people in class, I have learned how to smile through stuff that I didn’t want to smile through and how to find a genuine way to do that. It’s so much easier than being angry.
3. Specifically: designer Christian Siriano, actor Camille Razat, and director Nora Kirkpatrick.
Are you in therapy?
[Sigh] I am not. As a teen, people said, “You’re a teenager with cancer. You must go to therapy.” And I was like, “Absolutely not. That means there’s something wrong. That means the cancer has won.” Then as an adult, I’ve always been like, “If I go to a therapist, there’s just so much to catch them up on. What do I even start with?! What? My cancer, racism, Broadway? Being cheated on?” I don’t fucking know!
Definitely start with being cheated on. I’m speaking from experience.
What I heard from friends is that the best time to go is when there’s nothing wrong. So, you know when I was literally about to go? Right before sepsis.
No way.
I swear. I was asking my friends, “What therapists can do this over the phone if I’m traveling?” I was looking into star readers, different healers…and then...nope.
You went straight from recovery into shooting Emily in Paris, so I almost hate to ask what your favourite part of filming season 4 was.
It really was just about survival for me. I can’t remember anything because I was not well. But one thing I’ll give myself credit for is, I don’t think I’m the most talented, prettiest, any of those things. But I do the best I can, and that work ethic always means a lot. I think I’m super resilient.
Can we talk about how your character, Mindy, sings even more this time around?
She has a great moment in Rome. It’s an original song by Freddy Wexler,4 and it’s the first time we’re seeing Mindy really sing from herself — her character “wrote” the song. Filming those scenes made me really enjoy singing again. I will say, I can’t hit the highest notes.5 I can’t be the loudest. But I don’t know how to sing without it being from my heart and my gut and my soul. And that’s the kind of song that Mindy sings. It’s so beautiful.
4. ...who has also written songs for Celine Dion, Justin Bieber, and Billy Joel, by the way.
5. Worth noting: Ashley has a Grammy nomination for her vocal performance in The King and I on Broadway.
You and Paul are a couple on and off the show. Did you like him right away?
In the beginning, we were just friends, because I was at a point where I was like, “I will never date an actor again.” And one of the first things he said to me was, “I’ve never dated an actor.” And I was like, “Amazing.”
Amazing — and wrong!
I mean, let’s face it, he’s eye candy. So I was also like, “Oh my god, definitely not. I am past that. I would never fall for someone who looks that impeccable. So we were just friends. Very platonically, we would hang out. Then I was invited by the International Medical Corps to go and volunteer with Ukrainian refugees in Poland. It was going to be a whole week in Poland and I didn’t want to do it alone, so I thought, 'You know who should come with me, because literally we are just good friends, is Paul.'
Uh-huh....
I come from the theatre! You want to bond with your costars, and I was like, “He’s my new scene partner.” So I invited him. Fast-forward, we’re filming one of our last scenes together, and he said, “I am getting really attached to you.”
Attached romantically?
I felt so all-knowing and above it. I was like, “Oh, you poor man, let me explain. This is a show. You’re just excited about the whole thing.”
You tried to convince him that he didn’t have feelings for you?
Lily noticed the chemistry. She was like, “Ashley, what is going on?” And I replied, “Nothing. I told you I wasn’t dating actors.” It was the first time I was really standing up for myself. I told her, “Lily, your disbelief in my growth is sad, because he’s the exact type of guy that I said I wasn’t going to go for. I told you, and so I really want you, as my friend, to believe me.”
“Your disbelief in my growth is sad” — ha! I hope Lily teases you about this constantly now.
Oh yeah. But back then, she just asked, “So why did you guys kiss during the rehearsal?” I was like, “It’s because we’ve been doing scenes all week.” And she said, “Well, you guys seemed really excited.” Then that night, we got together. We went out, and I thought I was going to be third-wheeling on a date with him, and it turned out it was just us. And I was like, 'Oh my god, I’ve lied to my best friend. I really do like this guy. What do I do?'
What did you do?
We went on that trip to Poland. Watching him play chess with these children who did not have a home and acting like this father figure to them because their fathers were at war, watching him be so present, it was amazing. So I had to do a little loss-of-dignity tour. I had to be like, "Lily, everyone, we are so in love." That was about two years ago.
Paul is clearly a huge part of your life. But you waited about a year to hard-launch your relationship, right?
Oh, more…. It had been a year and a half. It’s funny now: the Maldives trip was going to be our hard launch. Literally, if you ask any of my friends, if you ask my assistant, I was like, “We’re hard-launching.” And then I got sepsis. We joke that if our next holiday is literally just taking out the trash, it will be amazing by comparison.
It seems like he really shares your optimism and sense of humor.
One of the reasons I wanted to be friends with him, and eventually fell in love with him, is that he’s so generous and kind as a coworker and a friend. I’ve never been with a straight white male who has been more generous or better to work with on a set. Ever, ever, ever.
What was your love life like before Paul? Were you on dating apps?
I’d been on Raya [a private member's dating app, often used by celebrities] in New York, and the first person who popped up was someone I knew. And I was like, “Bye.” I did do Raya again in Paris when it was the height of Covid and everything was closed. I met a guy, and he lived on the outskirts of town. He said, “I can come to where you live.” And I replied, “No, I want to go where you live”...so that I could leave early.
Did you go?
Yeah. And when Lily found out the next day, she was like, “Never go to a stranger’s house and not location-share again!”
Ha. You and Lily are costars and best friends. How do you set boundaries at work?
I was discussing with Lily the other day what an adult friendship is. And first of all, we are so fucking lucky, me and Lily. We both came into each other’s lives at a time when we needed that exact kind of friendship. Her, Florence Pugh, Sherry Cola — we came to each other at the exact right moment.
As a fangirl, I must ask: Are you also friends with Selena Gomez, because of Only Murders?
Selena is amazing. Selena is someone that’s very much like a Flo or a Lily, just really down-to-earth. At a certain point, you sense those people right away, the ones who are just wanting to exist with the best heart and soul. We text all the time. She was like, “Where should I live in Paris?” when she was filming a movie there.
What’s different, for you, about friendships in your 30s versus in your 20s?
Lily and I don’t have to check in every day. It’s so amazing when you can see someone after months and go deep immediately. And also, you don’t feel like you need to have ownership over that person. It’s cool if they’re hanging out with other people, living their life.
Adult friendships have no FOMO.
I love when my friends hang out with each other. You feel secure. There’s no anxiety.
How do you hold space for your friendships when you’re also in a relationship?
When you find the right person, you’re like, “I want to be with him, and also, he doesn’t take away from who I am.” Which includes building and maintaining your friendships.
That is a very Gemini thing to say.
I am a Gemini!
I do my research. Do you believe in astrology?
I just got into it. Geminis, we’re double-sided. When people get to know me, I have such a business mode, like, type A. I’m on it; I focus it up. But I absolutely feel like when I’m alone and you really get to know me, I’m super emotional, introverted.
You’re a secret introvert?
One thousand percent. I can’t tell you how many people I’ve been around, whether they’re famous or not, and I’m always intimidated. I can’t get it through my head that they might be intimidated too. That’s crazy to me.
You’ve noted your own positivity as a key to your success. But what happens when you just don’t feel positive? What takes over?
Guts? Determination? I don’t know. There have been so many times where I’ve just asked, 'What’s wrong with me?' Which was the name of my song in Mean Girls. It’s how I felt all of college and all of high school. The joke is, the answer was usually like, “You’re not white.” But you just do it. You just go.
Can I be a massive theatre nerd for a second? You were Tuptim in The King and I at Lincoln Center. And she’s got that lyric, 'The smile beneath my smile / He’ll never see.' That’s what the guts and determination sound like to me.
Oh, wow. That was my first lead. I fought tooth and nail for that role. And please credit the director Bart Sher for this, because I was not the most qualified.6 But Bart said, “Oh, she’s got the guts and the balls. She’s got something inside. That’s this character.” And I didn’t even realise it until this very moment, years and years later, but “the smile you’ll never see” is all of this pent-up energy that says, 'I’m gonna go into this room now. I’m gonna talk to these people now, and I’m going to navigate these halls of power.' They call it code-switching, navigating, whatever.
6. Also worth mentioning: Ashley holds a BFA in musical theatre from the University of Michigan, one of the most competitive performing arts programmes in the world. She had already appeared in Mamma Mia! on Broadway when cast.
Does it make you frustrated that you have to do that because you’re one of the first Asian American actresses experiencing this kind of success?
No. I’m so grateful for all of that because it made me the person I am.
Do you believe in revenge?
Revenge? No. I believe in karma.
Interesting. What’s the difference?
I think revenge is when you feel something has been done wrong unto you and you try to pay it back to that person versus karma, which is, 'If that person’s done that kind of thing, let me see what the universe gives them back.' And I might have to wait 10 days or 10 years. But it’s interesting....I think we spend a lot of our younger years praying that karma will come for other people, and then in our 30s, we’re like, 'Oh, karma comes for us too.'
Example?
Well, sometimes I have the worst travel luck. Everyone knows that every mishap in the book has happened to me, every single travel mishap. Lost luggage,7 I sprained my ankle, delays, everything. And I’m like, “Who have I been mean to?”
7. See Ashley’s TikTok, where she wears a bikini and a coat while in London for Fashion Week because her luggage disappeared at the airport.
On Beef, you played a villain with very bad karma!
What I love about villains and antagonists is that we know, in life too, that bullies think they’re correct. They think, 'I am the victim.' And because I’ve dealt with so many people like the person I played in Beef, I was like, 'I’m so ready to play this woman with such honesty.' Part of what I love about acting is being like, 'Why did this person treat me this way? Let me just try to figure it out.' That’s actually my therapy.
Are you ever bullied now?
I will say, nobody’s ever been as mean to me as the girls in college in Michigan. I don’t know what was in the water there, but wow. Now, not as much, because as adults, we’re better at curating our circle, right? But look, I was the only person of colour in my musical theatre graduating class. I didn’t have any friends among the girls. None at all. And I had one teacher who was awful to me. He said, “Oh, it’s so good you’re going into the industry right now, because it’s really trending to be ethnic, so you could take those roles.” When I came back to accept an alumni award, they did a panel for the whole university, and that man was supposed to be the moderator. And that’s the first time I ever put my foot down and said, “No.”
How’d that feel?
Scary. And good.
And maybe a little bit like revenge?
My revenge is this: if you make it onto my two-and-a-half-person shit list, I will never publicly say anything bad about you...but if somebody asks me directly about you, then for me, it’s not about revenge. It’s about honesty.
When is the last time you cried?
This morning when I woke up in my haunted hotel room! And I cried not being with Paul on the plane yesterday. I’ve never had that, where I’m like, 'Oh my god, I don’t feel complete without someone.' I actually boarded last because I was sobbing so hard that I scared people. You know, I was just scared to be alone. I’ve never been like that. I used to be so proud that I didn’t cry at all unless I was onstage. And now I’m, like, a puddle.
That’s good too though.
Well. It’s good for my skin, anyway. More hydration.
On the cover: Stella McCartney dress. Pandora earrings, bangles, and rings.
Lead image: Vivetta jacket, shirt, and shorts. Pandora earrings and rings.
Stylist: Cassie Anderson. Hair: Clayton Hawkins at A-Frame Agency using Bellami. Makeup: Carolina Gonzalez at A-Frame Agency. Manicure: Mamie Onishi at See Management using Chanel Le Vernis. Production: Viewfinders. Vintage car prop: Courtesy of Jay Leitz.
Executive producers: Abbey Adkison and Sarah Lowen. Senior video producer: Liesl Lar. Director of photography: Kevin Kim. Gaffer: Alessandro Imperiale. Gaffer assistant: David Persaud. Sound: Dave Scaringe. Editor: Sarah Ng. Director of post-production: Heather Weyrick. Post-production supervisors: Shu-Ying Chung and Zoe Zachary.
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