Billie Eilish Says Her 2021 Blonde Hair Transformation Sparked Identity Crisis: 'No Idea Who I Am'

The singer reflects on her ‘Happier Than Ever’ era, admitting that her glam transformation didn’t feel authentic to her

Billie Eilish is reflecting on her beauty evolution.

In an interview with Rolling Stone published on Wednesday, April 24, the Grammy winner, 22, shared that her dramatic blonde hair transformation — which she showed off at the Met Gala in 2021 — sparked a sort of identity crisis.

“And then I dyed my hair blond and I immediately was like, ‘Oh, I have no idea who I am,’” she told the outlet. The glamorous look conveyed the softer, jazzier feel of her sophomore album Happier Than Ever, but ultimately, felt too much of a departure from Eilish’s true self.

“In a weird way, that was a little like being in a tornado cellar, reading a cute little story,” Eilish’s brother and collaborator, Finneas O’Connell, said in the profile. “It was a coping mechanism of an album.”

Related: Lana Del Rey Dazzles in Sparkly Blue Dress and Boots for Coachella Performance with Special Guest Billie Eilish

Eilish revealed the new icy blonde locks in a March 2021 Instagram video that nearly broke the internet. Six months later, she made her Met Gala debut in a peach tulle Oscar de la Renta corset ball gown, her blonde hair styled into a glamorous bob. The transformation marked a huge moment for Eilish, as previously, the then-19-year-old was mostly known for her grungy, covered-up style.

"It just was time," the singer told Keke Palmer on the red carpet. "It was time for this, and I feel like I've grown so much in the last few years."

She continued, "I've always wanted to do this. I was just scared and didn't feel comfortable in my skin and I feel like I finally did."

Eilish added that the look was inspired by her favorite Barbie doll as a kid — perhaps foreshadowing her Oscar-winning song for the 2023 Barbie movie soundtrack, “What Was I Made For?”

In conversation with Rolling Stone, Eilish also opened up having blue hair at the start of her career. Though the look became her signature shortly after she rose to fame with her hit “Ocean Eyes” in 2015, the star shared that the hair color was actually an “accident.”

“Dude, what’s so interesting to me is that blue has always been my least-favorite color,” she said. “Which is so stupid because my hair was blue for years. But I didn’t mean for it to be — that was an accident.”

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She explained, “Somebody put too much toner in my white hair and suddenly it was lavendery-blue, and then I kept getting it blue, and then I was known as this blue-haired girl, and I f---ing hated it. I went months and months trying to get the color out, and then I had this teal hair. But over the last couple of years, I’ve just been like, ‘Wait, blue is so who I am at my core.’”

Eilish’s highly anticipated third album, Hit Me Hard and Soft, will be released on May 17. The cover artwork, which she revealed earlier this month, speaks to the artist’s renewed love for blue and features Eilish submerged in water near an open door.

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