Bride Considers Disinviting Brother to Wedding After He Canceled Hosting the Nuptials Due to Superstition
“Apparently the superstition goes that if you host a sibling’s wedding at your house, you give away your luck to that family,” the bride wrote
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Stock image of groom and brideA bride is questioning whether it would be wrong to disinvite her brother from her wedding after he canceled hosting the nuptials at the last minute.
The bride shared in a recent post on Reddit’s popular "Am I the A------?" forum that she and her fiancé opted to have an intimate wedding ceremony with 26 guests and asked her brother and sister-in-law if they could hold it in their backyard “about a year ago.”
“They said they would be honored to host,” the bride recalled. “They insisted it would be a wonderful setting and it would mean a lot to them to have it there as well.”
She noted that her brother and sister-in-law already had a child and were expecting a newborn around the same time as wedding preparations so she and her fiancé knew it was a “big ask.” She added that they “promised we would be [as] unobtrusive as possible and take care of everything that needed to be taken care of.”
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However, a little over a month until their wedding day, the bride said the couple’s “nanny/family friend,” who is also a monk, told them that if they allowed her wedding in their backyard, it would “bring less luck to their family.”
“Apparently the superstition goes that if you host a sibling’s wedding at your house, you give away your luck to that family,” the bride wrote. “And now that they are new parents to a [6-month-old] and [2-year-old], they don’t want anything to happen to them and want to give them the best chance at life they possibly can.”
She noted that her family has “never really been superstitious,” but her sister-in-law’s family “is more conservative” and “believes in these sort of things.” Due to the superstition, the bride said her brother canceled hosting the wedding — leaving her searching for another venue.
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“I’m pretty tolerant of others’ belief systems. And while I don’t understand it I do respect it,” she wrote. “But we are literally less than two months out now from our big day.”
She said that a venue change wouldn’t be “too difficult” but that it threw the bride and groom-to-be in a “curveball” because they “had everything already set.” She noted that her brother did try to help them find a new venue and offered to cover “additional cost to send out invites," as well as the costs associated with changing venues.
“I love my brother and would want the best for his family and the kiddos. But right now I don’t want anything to do with him,” she added.
Several people in the Reddit comment section sided with the bride, noting that her brother’s decision to back out less than two months before the wedding left his sister in a tough position.
“... This puts you in a bind and he's just proven he is untrustworthy. I would be furious too,” one Redditor commented. “I would calmly explain to him that you are very unhappy with this development, that it is causing significant issues with your wedding plans, and that while you love him, he is no longer invited to the wedding because what he just did was so disrespectful to you and your fiancé.”
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Another wrote, “I'm all for respecting religions but I'm really finding it hard to not look at your brother negatively in this. For one, he is canceling only a month away, and two, it's from listening to some superstition. I'd [have] uninvited them too.”
Others noted that she shouldn’t disinvite her brother despite what happened, including one person who wrote, “You’re angry. That’s understandable. Your brother hasn’t been considerate. I’d urge you not to disinvite him for this in spite of how frustrating it is… After your wedding is over and life moves on, your brother might realize how inconsiderate he’s been.”
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