Bridesmaid Feels ‘Awful’ for Considering Skipping Bride’s Bachelorette Party but Says Expense Makes Her ‘Sick to My Stomach’
“I told her I love her and want to be there for her, I just can’t make that much of a time commitment. And she is not understanding it," the bridesmaid wrote on Reddit
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A bride and her bridesmaids (stock image)A bridesmaid is asking for some advice after she says one of her best friends is planning a “mini vacay” for her bachelorette party and she won’t be able to attend the whole thing.
The woman shared in a post on Reddit’s "Bridezillas" forum that her friend informed her that she's planning to have a four- to five-day event for her bachelorette party — something that is out of the question for the bridesmaid as she is studying to get her finance degree and working “full-time.”
“I let her know that I’m sorry I can’t be there for the whole event,” the bridesmaid wrote. “I can most likely do Saturday and Sunday, however, considering I should be able to schedule my school work and get it done throughout the week (M-F) to open up my weekend.”
But her friend gave her a “pretty stiff response” and said she needed to be there to “set up.” She also told her it’s her “job” to help because she’s in the “wedding party.”
“She said she hopes I can work my schedule to be there,” the woman wrote. “Even after I responded saying I do schoolwork M-F so I can be free on the weekend, she said ok then the bachelorette can be F-M instead. I [then] reiterated I won’t be able to be there Friday and Monday because I have classes.”
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A group of women clinking glasses (stock image)Aside from the scheduling issue, the bridesmaid noted that her friend informed her that the whole bachelorette would “cost $500+ a person” — which the bridesmaid said makes her “so sick to my stomach” as she and her husband are saving to buy a home.
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“$500 is huge when we are scrimping and saving and not taking ‘mini-vacays’ ourselves because of a lack of time and money and bigger things ahead,” she wrote, adding that she can’t tell “if I’m the one being awful.”
“I told her I love her and want to be there for her, I just can’t make that much of a time commitment. And she is not understanding it,” she added. “And now I feel even worse because I don’t know how I’ll spend $500 for a bachelorette [party].”
The woman also noted that she feels like a "terrible friend" for considering not going, especially as her soon-to-be-married friend doesn't often do such "elaborate" things like this.
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A group of women celebrating a bachelorette party (stock image)Related: Bride Furious After Friend Says She Can’t Afford to Go on Pricey Bachelorette Party Trip
Several people responded to the bridesmaid's post telling her that she should do what she's comfortable with. One person wrote, “You don’t need to do anything tbh. It’s a wedding, not a job or school thing. You’re not getting paid to do any of this so she needs to stop calling it a job.”
“Go ahead and back totally out,” another commenter said. “Tell her you love her but she deserves someone who can fully commit their time and money for her big day. Don't get stressed out, in debt and in trouble at school.”
Yet another person advised: “Do NOT spend money you don't have or use time you don't have for her wedding, let alone her bachelorette party. Fight the good fight and push back on this. It's not a reasonable request!”
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