Brooke Shields Opens Up About Her Experience with 'Mom-Shaming,' Says Motherhood is ‘Not a Competition’
The model and actress added that she doesn’t want "anybody to tell me how to mother"
Brooke Shields is not here for mom-shaming.
On Wednesday, Jan. 15, the actress and model, 59, made an appearance on The Kelly Clarkson Show to chat about her new memoir Brooke Shields is Not Allowed to Get Old: Thoughts on Aging as a Woman and her own experience with motherhood.
Shields, who shares daughters Rowan, 21, and Grier, 18, with husband Chris Henchy, told host Kelly Clarkson that she has witnessed mothers shaming other mothers.
When the "Piece By Piece" singer suggested that "moms are harder about shaming ourselves, almost more than other moms," the author disagreed.
"But I do think that we do this like, 'Oh, is that the way you're gonna do that?' " she said with a disapproving facial expression.
"I’ve heard that," Shields continued. "And everybody's like, you know, 'The diapers and this and that.' Everybody, it's not a competition."
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The actress went on to suggest "maybe I'm not getting the full meaning" of mom-shaming, asking, "Is that judging them?"
Clarkson responded, "I feel like that would be mom-shaming. I don't hang out with those women, so I get voted off the island very quickly."
Shields addressed another way women experience judgment about motherhood, saying they "get shamed if they are actually very clear that they don't want children, and sometimes that makes them a pariah."
Ultimately, she said she doesn’t want "anybody to tell me how to mother."
"I want to see how someone's doing it, that I respect, and then ask them, or say, ‘Hey, like, I noticed your kid did that. That's really cool. How'd you get them to do that?’ ” Shields added.
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The talk show host brought the subject to a more personal note. "I also think that there's the mom shooting of just ourselves. Or maybe that's the guilt," she said.
Shields agreed and added, "You know, it’s 'You spend too much time with your career and at the show, and that makes you a bad mom.' 'I'm not enough.' I miss a soccer game and it's because 'I'm Brooke Shields,' and then they shame you for that.”
While promoting her book at a Jan. 14 event, Shields revealed that she’s cautious to give advice when it comes to tough situations as "you can't really know how to walk through someone else's experience" – and she said she learned that from her two daughters.
"And I learned a lot from my kids for that too, because Grier will say, 'Mom, please don't try to fix this. Just listen to me,' " she said. "And I'm just sitting on my hands and I'm biting my tongue and then I'll try the, 'Well, why do you think you reacted that way?'"
"And she's like, 'Oh mom, please.' And so there's subtext there. So I know I have to meet them differently when you figure one out and the next is completely different," Shields added.
Brooke Shields Is Not Allowed to Get Old is available now, wherever books are sold.
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