Busy Philipps Says Her ADHD Created 'Internal Chaos that I Was Managing Constantly’

The 'Girls5Eva' star talks about how the disorder is under-diagnosed in girls — and how her life changed at 39 after learning she had it

Busy Philipps is sharing how getting diagnosed with ADHD at age 39 changed her life — and why the disorder often goes unrecognized in girls.

The Girls5Eva star, now 44, tells PEOPLE she didn’t realize she might have ADHD until she was seeking treatment for her daughter, Birdie, now 15. (She shares Birdie, as well as daughter Cricket, 11, with ex-husband Mark Silverstein.)

“It wasn't until we were sitting there with my daughter's doctor and he was going through the checklist that my ex-husband and I started looking at each other, and I had all of them,” she tells PEOPLE. “‘Wait, that's me. 100% me.’ So I went to my own doctor and sure enough, I very much have ADHD.”

ADHD is one of the most common neurodevopmental disorders that’s diagnosed in childhood, the Centers for Disease Control says, adding that the most common symptoms are kids that “daydream a lot, forget or lose things a lot, squirm or fidget, talk too much” and show impulsive or impatient behavior, like “take unnecessary risks” or “have trouble taking turns.”

However, as Philipps tells PEOPLE, “My personal experience was it wasn't an external chaos. It was an internal chaos that I was managing constantly, and my brain was working four times as hard as everybody else's to try to make order and sense of a thing. It was just honestly impossible for me to do.”

Philipps shared that once she talked about her diagnosis on her podcast, Busy Philipps Is Doing Her Best, “so many women reached out through our email to say, ‘Oh my gosh, I just had the exact same experience,’ or, ‘You know, things that Busy is saying about what she has gone through feel really similar to me.’”

Related: Ty Pennington Opens Up About Life With ADHD — and His 'Secret Ingredient' to Happiness

And for May's Mental Health Awareness Month, the actress says she was inspired to speak louder about her own mental health journey.

“The more that we can have these conversations, the more people maybe see themselves or their own experience reflected and then can go take the appropriate steps go to your own doctor. Find out what treatment works for you. Obviously, I'm not a doctor. I'm just a person who has an experience.”

Before her diagnosis — and ultimately taking medication to treat her ADHD — Philipps says she would struggle with prioritizing tasks.

“I would be needing to pack for a trip that I'm going on. I would know also that I needed to make a playlist to listen to on the plane, too, and I'd have to download [it]. So then instead of packing, I'm like, ‘I have to make this playlist’ — like that's the most important thing, which is not the most important thing for me to do,” she tells PEOPLE.

Related: Busy Philipps Is Opening Up About Mental Health With 'Anxiety' Necklace

“The order should be that you get the things you need to get done first, right? But those kinds of things would pop into my brain and I'd be like, ‘Oh, I need snacks,’ and then… I'm at my work trip … and I'm, like, 'I don't have any underwear.'”

Now, the Mean Girls actress tells PEOPLE she manages her ADHD with Qelbree, a non-stimulant medication. “I love because I can take it any time of day. Sometimes I would forget, and I'm so glad that I can take it any time of day.”

The actress shared that she’s “glad” to be a part of the conversation, as “historically speaking, women's diagnoses in general across the board — but especially when it comes to mental health and specifically ADHD, since it does present differently in young boys and girls — it was just missed a lot of the time.”

She continued, “I really wish that, you know, when I was in my early 30s and feeling so overwhelmed and like I was failing at life that somebody was out there saying like, ’Oh, actually, you're not’ — and not just that message of, like, ‘You’re a mom, you're doing it all’ — but if it's really feeling insurmountable, go talk to a doctor and see what is going on. And specifically ask them about ADHD.”

“Since knowing what it is, it allows me to not feel terrible about myself,” she said, “And not have this nagging feeling that I'm failing in some way.”

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