Connecting with your neighbors can help combat loneliness and make you feel safe and supported. Here's how to get started.
I lived in and around New York City for the better part of 30 years without ever building good neighbor relationships. Now that I’ve fled the big city for a tightly knit community in East Nashville, Tenn., I’ve learned what I was missing out on. I’m now a proud part of a blockwide group text and the beneficiary of plenty of neighborly helpfulness — for example, during a recent bout of norovirus at my house, two neighbors came by with some lifesaving Gatorade.
But many Americans don’t know their neighbors. That’s been a fact for years, and Harris Poll data from 2024 shows there's been an even greater dropoff recently, particularly among Gen Z-ers and millennials. But fostering neighborly relationships has its plus sides, from providing social and emotional support to increased safety and security.
Why is it worth making nice with the folks next door? Ahead, mental health experts weigh in on the benefits of building neighbor connections amid our current loneliness epidemic. Plus, people who made an effort to meet their neighbors share the outcomes — and tips to get started.
What people have enjoyed about connecting with their neighbors
Ginevra Czech Boyd says that when she moved into her South Philadelphia neighborhood, one particular neighbor was especially friendly and brought over some food to share. Because of that woman’s kindness, Boyd and her family were inspired to carry on the welcoming vibes as time passed and new folks kept moving in. “We felt the onus to introduce ourselves to the new neighbors and keep the friendly tradition alive on the block,” she tells Yahoo Life.
Joy Netanya Thompson's mid-pandemic move to La Verne, Calif., made it difficult to get to know her neighbors at first, but “we made an effort,” she says. That meant “doing the awkward ‘hello’ and introducing myself when I saw them in their yards,” she says. She also made cookie plates to share with neighbors around the holidays. Now Thompson’s neighbor relationships are stronger than ever, which is important to Thompson as a mom of a 9-year-old daughter. “To know she has at least five houses with friendly faces on our block makes me feel really good," she tells Yahoo Life.
Jacqueline Mendelsohn lives in Chevy Chase, Md., and says she “got to know our neighbors primarily by spending as much time outside as we could.” That included scooting and biking with her kids, playing in the driveway and inviting neighbors over for a drink on the porch. “We all found a common ground in desiring to be in community with each other,” says Mendelsohn, whose neighbors range in age across seven decades.
In New York City, Cindy Augustine says building a relationship with her neighbor helped her through some seriously tough times. “Within a couple of years, we survived both hurricanes Sandy and Irene and over the next decade, we both lost our fathers,” says Augustine. “It was really fortuitous that we were neighbors at a time that we really needed each other.”
Kelsey Kirkegaard “tried for years to create community" in her neighborhood and has finally succeeded. Now, her Nashville home “pretty much has a revolving door,” she says. “People just walk in; the neighbor kid comes right in when he gets home from school. Everyone watches out for one another.”
“We all need more neighborly community,” adds Kirkegaard. “It would drastically change our entire nation's climate if it was more normal to our culture like it is in so many other places of the world.”
Experts agree that a neighborly community can have a marked impact on our physical and mental health. Here's what to know.
The benefits: Safety, support and cups of sugar
Research from the Rutgers Institute for Health, Health Care Policy and Aging found that, among the older people studied, relationships with neighbors had a positive effect and served as protection against the potential negative impacts of living alone. But you don’t need to be a senior citizen to experience the upsides.
Having closer relationships with your neighbors comes with plenty of benefits, including:
A wider support network. Marriage and family therapist Joseph Cavins says neighbor connections “become particularly valuable during challenging times.” That’s because neighbors add humans to your existing support network of friends, family and colleagues. “People who know their neighbors tend to have more people they can either rely on or speak with,” says Cavins.
Reducing loneliness. Loneliness has been recognized as a major public health issue in the U.S. Board-certified psychiatrist Dr. Michelle Dees says you can combat this by getting to know those who live around you. Knowing your neighbors, she says, “can go a long way in enhancing trust.” This, in turn, “encourages open communication and shared responsibility for community well-being,” which, Dees explains, “consequently leads to better emotional health generally.”
Feeling secure. We all want to be able to trust the people we live among, right? If you know your neighbors, you’re more likely to feel at ease moving through your day-to-day. Mental health counselor Natalie Rosado says “neighbors who are keen on the welfare of each other can assist in preventing crimes and even come to the rescue during challenging times.” Therapist Sandra Kushnir agrees, adding that feeling safe within your community can also work wonders in reducing your overall stress levels. “Knowing that you have a support system nearby, whether during a crisis or when you’re out of town, can build a sense of security,” she tells Yahoo Life.
Getting help in a pinch. Boyd, in Philadelphia, says she and her neighbors are often retrieving each other’s packages or borrowing missing recipe ingredients mid-baking, which saves her a trip to the store. She has also benefited from her neighbors’ “help with references for roofers or house cleaners,” adds Boyd. “I feel like most of us want the connection and camaraderie (and frankly benefits!) of knowing each other.”
Giving back. Of course, neighbor relationships aren’t just about how they can help you; giving back to your community also has tremendous mental health perks for the giver. “Engaging in altruistic interactions with neighbors — like offering to water someone’s plants, sharing a meal or simply saying hello — can boost your mood and create a ripple effect of kindness,” says Kushnir.
Learning opportunities. Being part of a community, Kushnir adds, “provides opportunities to learn from those around you, exposing you to different perspectives and life experiences. This kind of social learning enhances empathy and fosters resilience.” So don’t be shy about asking your garden-obsessed neighbor about their favorite perennials, or asking that one guy who grew up on the block to share stories about what the neighborhood was like when he was a kid.
How to get started
There are many ways to actively seek out and build those relationships with your neighbors. Here are some tactics to try:
Introduce yourself. Of course, the classic is to bring over some food — but just saying hi is totally fine too! Or, copy Shannon Nicole Meyer's move for how she greets new neighbors: “My icebreaker has always been leaving a bottle of wine at their door with a card that includes my phone number" and a message letting them know she there's if they need anything," she tells Yahoo Life.
Take your time. Cavins says the best way to develop neighbor relationships is gradually — and through small, consistent actions. “Each brief interaction adds to our sense of belonging, even if it's just helping bring in groceries or sharing gardening tips,” Cavins explains.
Offer help. A great way to get involved in your neighborhood is by lending a helping hand. Do you have a skill set or a helpful habit you can share? Maybe you’re handy with the drill and can repair someone’s broken mailbox. Boyd says she started picking up trash on the block to help out and meet neighbors. “Now I’m not the only one picking up trash,” she says, “so I like to think that strategy was effective!”
Use technology (wisely). “Social media groups can help in creating and enhancing relationships with neighbors virtually,” says Rosado. So hit up Nextdoor or your local Facebook group, and let it guide you to your IRL neighborly meet-cute — whether that’s a yard sale or a block party.
All in all, having a stronger connection to your neighborhood is good for your mental health — and even your physical safety. Adds Kushnir: "Having a strong connection to your neighborhood helps create a buffer against stress and promotes healthier coping mechanisms."
Whether you’re borrowing a tool, volunteering at a local food drive or simply shooting the breeze with Ms. Jones at the mailbox, “these small acts of connection build trust and mutual support,” she says, “which are essential for combating the loneliness epidemic and promoting overall well-being.” So grab those baked goods or bottle of wine and head next door to say hi.
