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The Crisis Is Upon Us

Photo credit: Getty Images
Photo credit: Getty Images

From Esquire

Apology Tour! Apology Tour! Apology Tour!

Actually, I remember vividly taking shelter under my desk, and being herded-“No running!”-to the basement by the nuns during a particularly bad couple of weeks in 1962. Things seemed to have been worse back then.

Hold me, Vlad. It’s been a tough week.

The day began in an almost unimaginable fashion, with the President* of the United States blaming an investigation of the ratfcking of an American election for the deterioration of a relationship with the country that paid for the ratfcking, and doing so before going into a one-on-one meeting with the head ratfcker his own self, and then following that up by blaming the ratfcking that helped make him president* on his predecessor, so he and his senior manager can have a good laugh.

(Here, from our Too Little, Too Damn Late File, is a Washington Post story from December of 2016 about how the Obama Administration tried to get the whole government on board with its attempt to deal with the ratfcking, only to have Mitch McConnell continue to be the worst American of the 21st Century: "The Obama administration has been debating for months how to respond to the alleged Russian intrusions, with White House officials concerned about escalating tensions with Moscow and being accused of trying to boost Clinton’s campaign. In September, during a secret briefing for congressional leaders, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) voiced doubts about the veracity of the intelligence, according to officials present.")

Photo credit: Getty Images
Photo credit: Getty Images

And this was only a few days after he declared the European Union an adversary and did his best to break up NATO. Jesus take the wheel, Americans, the crisis is upon us now.

Over the weekend, Senator Ben Sasse, Republican of Nebraska, took to the electric Twitter machine to deliver a disquisition on why this particular summit with these particular guys at this particular time is a genuinely terrible idea. While I certainly agree with what the senator had to say, as any thinking American would at this point, I am tired of this kind of thing, and I got into a bit of a wrangle on the electric Twitter machine for saying so. It is time to do something about it.

It’s plain now that the Republicans are perfectly willing to put up with this administration*’s agenda, such as it is. Sasse is perfectly all right with all the environmental deregulation, and the ridiculous tax package that shoved even more of the country’s money upwards. He’s going to turn handsprings when Brett Cavanaugh arrives at the Supreme Court to turn the clock back to the 1890s on so many different issues, especially women’s reproductive freedoms. As long as all this is going on, all Ben Sasse (and people like him) are going to do is make brave noises and vote the way the White House wants them to do. And the country has to live with the policies while they get campaign commercials touting their independence.

Photo credit: Getty Images
Photo credit: Getty Images

The fact is that there is only one constitutional method by which this renegade presidency* can be stifled before the November midterm elections-and it needs to be reined in as quickly as possible. The only available option is to have two or three Republican senators announce that, hereafter, they will caucus and vote with the Democratic minority between now and November.

It is clear that nobody can control the president*. Impeachment has to begin in the House of Representatives, and, at the moment, the House is a barn full of maniacs and its speaker is an invertebrate life-form who can’t keep woodchucks from eating his car. The Democratic caucuses on Capitol Hill are very limited, institutionally, in what they can do. The people in general have to wait until this fall to make their feelings known, and that through a compromised system of national elections.

Photo credit: Getty Images
Photo credit: Getty Images

Three Republican senators moving across the aisle shuts everything down. It defangs Mitch McConnell. It would take considerable political courage for Sasse to do this, since he still has political ambitions, but Bob Corker and Jeff Flake both have announced their retirements, and they both have been quite critical about the administration’s antics. Those two literally have nothing to lose. Again, if there’s another constitutional method by which immediately to throw the brakes on the crazy train, I’m wide open to hearing it.

Meanwhile, at their joint press conference, at which only one journalist had been bum-rushed to the door, the president* talked about the goddamn Electoral College and how the Mueller probe is bringing us closer to nuclear war, while Vladimir Putin’s face seemed about ready to explode with delight.

“You can trust no one,” Putin said. “Where do you get idea I trust President Trump? Or that he can trust me? Can you name a single fact that would definitively prove the collusion? This is nonsense.”

Photo credit: Getty Images
Photo credit: Getty Images

Then Putin specifically mentioned Bill Browder, the American businessman whose lawyer, Sergei Magnitsky, whose mysterious death in Russian custody prompted the Magnitsky Act, a sanctions regime that’s been up his nose for six years now. Putin seemed to suggest that Browder should be sent to Russia for further “investigation.” Yeah, that’ll happen. Maybe they'll give him Sergei Magnitsky's cell.

But the president* continues to have his eye on the real crisis in American democracy.

"I think it's a disgrace we can't get Hillary Clinton's 33,000 e-mails. I have great confidence in my intelligence people, but I will tell you that President Putin was extremely strong and powerful in his denial today."

Compared to the president* on Monday, Neville Chamberlain was Conan the Barbarian. In an unprecedented exercise in national self-abasement, the president* threw the American system of justice, the credibility of the intelligence community, and both Robert Mueller and Hillary Clinton into the woodchipper in order to keep faith with a former KGB thug who leads a failing kleptocracy who, just as an added fillip, and right at the end of their mutually disgraceful fandango, issued a non-denial denial of whether or not his government has compromising material on the president*. He's a laff riot, is our Vlad.

"I did hear these rumours. When President Trump visited Moscow back then, I didn't even know he was in Moscow... Nobody informed me that he was in Moscow... Please disregard these issues."

Putin finds the president* laughable. He has more reason than most to feel that way. He sees him as a particularly intriguing play-toy. Trump deserves Putin's contempt. In fact, these two men deserve each other. Unfortunately, nobody else on planet Earth does. And, oh, look, Jeff Flake is back on the electric Twitter machine, being outraged.

The crisis, as I may have said, is upon us.

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