David Beckham says it's ‘painful’ to think about all his children leaving home
David Beckham has spoken about his empty nest syndrome fears while discussing family life in a new interview.
The dad-of-four described how he and his wife, Victoria Beckham, are finding things now their grown-up sons, Brooklyn, 25, Romeo, 22, and 19-year-old Cruz have all left home.
Thankfully, the couple's teenage daughter, Harper, 13, is still living with her parents, but the former footballer explained that he's only got five years of school runs remaining and that's a thought he finds "painful".
"We’re not quite there yet, but it’s actually painful," he told Men’s Health UK. "We’ve gone from having four in the house to one."
The change in the family dynamic is something Beckham admits he's struggling with, admitting he misses the boys' cluttered bedrooms.
"What I would give to have that back and be able to walk in, moaning to them about it! That said, my boys are pretty good. They’ll always ask me to the pub when they go with their mates."
Kate Garraway has also previously opened up about how emotional she felt when her daughter left home for the first time to start her first year of university.
"Such an emotional moment on so many levels & boy is the house quiet," she wrote on an Instagram post documenting dropping her daughter off. "But Darcey we couldn’t be prouder of you starting this new chapter in your life & know your Dad is with you all the way."
What is empty nest syndrome?
Empty nest syndrome is a term coined to describe the feelings of loneliness and sadness some parents experience when their children grow up and leave home.
"If you’re a parent whose child is about to leave home, it’s natural to feel a range of emotions," explains Paul Guess, case management officer at wellbeing charity caba.
"You’ll no doubt feel happy they are embarking on an exciting new adventure. At the same time, you may also be feeling a sense of sadness or loneliness. These conflicting feelings, often referred to as ‘empty nest syndrome’, are common."
According to Hannah Ellis Carmichael, director and co-founder of the Living Well Alone Project, children leaving home is a huge adjustment which many parents don't anticipate.
"Parents are so focussed on helping their kids navigate the transition to living independently – usually for the first time – that they don't think about the impact on themselves until much later," she explains.
"But if large parts of your life have been devoted to caring for your kids, it's normal to feel a sense of loss when they're not there anymore."
How to cope with empty nest syndrome
Talk to other empty nesters
Starting a dialogue about your feelings with other parents who are in the same boat may reassure you that your emotions are valid.
"Getting things off your chest and acknowledging how you feel can bring immediate relief too," advises Guess.
"Forums such as Mumsnet, Family Lives or Netmums all offer a great place to connect with other empty nesters who can offer invaluable advice and support."
Reconnect as a couple
Many coupled parents struggle with empty nest syndrome because they feel one-to-one time with their partner over the years has been lost to family.
"With all that extra privacy in the house you can start to rekindle your relationship and get to know one another again," Guess says. "Try doing things you used to do for fun before your family came along, such as having more evenings out or weekends away."
Indulge your interests
Whether single or in a couple, Guess suggests taking some time to rekindle your passions.
"Perhaps you let a much-loved hobby slide to raise your child, or have always wanted to take up a particular activity? This can be your chance to carve out some time for yourself," he says.
"This can be particularly relevant to single-parent empty nesters as free time may suddenly feel in abundance. Try to find ways to use some of your new time for you and enjoy it."
Delay any drastic changes
Once your children have left home you may be tempted to make changes to fill the void, such as moving to a new house, but Guess suggests pressing pause on any major life moves.
"While it may feel a big part of your life is coming to an end, take the time to fully adjust to your new situation before you make any major decisions," he explains.
Get active
Being more physically active is a great way to boost your mood as it helps your body release ‘feel-good’ hormones called endorphins.
"Try to take up active leisure pursuits that happen outdoors, as studies suggest there’s a positive relationship between exposure to nature and positive mental health," suggests Guess. "If you can be moderately active for at least 150 minutes a week, you’ll improve your physical health too."
Stay in touch but try not to pester
Today’s technology means it’s never been easier to stay in touch by phone, email, text and video chat. But it's important to find a balance between catching up and keeping track.
"When your child first leaves home, you’ll probably want to stay in touch regularly," says Guess. "But it’s important to give them space to adjust to their new life, so try to avoid smothering them by constantly monitoring their social media or calling them too often."
Give yourself time to adjust
If you are struggling with empty nest syndrome, it's important to give yourself time to get used to your new normal. "It's okay to feel 'out of sorts' for a while, and to go through a grieving process," explains Carmichael.
"You may find it helpful to spend some time thinking proactively about what you want the next few weeks and months to look like. How will you spend your time? Who with? What do you want your relationship with your children to look like now?
"Sharing your feelings with a friend or therapist can also help you to get some perspective and work through what you're feeling in a healthy way, without burdening your kids," she adds.
Read more about David and Victoria Beckham:
Seven health changes to make at 50, as David Beckham 'not bothered' by milestone (Yahoo Life UK, 6-min read)
Brooklyn and Nicola Peltz Beckham's matching outfit moment is *very* familiar (Cosmo, 2-min read)
David and Victoria Beckham roast each other during their couples workouts (Men's Health)
