Doctors And Nurses Are Spilling The Tea On What Patient Behaviors Are Actually Super Common, And I'm Suddenly Much Less Embarrassed About My Last Medical Emergency
If you've ever watched a show like Grey's Anatomy, you know some wild things happen inside hospital walls (well, wild to non-medical workers, at least).
Of course, doctors, nurses, and other medical professionals are exposed to bizarre situations all the time. The average non-medical worker would have a hard time believing what actually happens in their day-to-day.
In one Reddit thread, healthcare workers shared the super common things they see, and some of them are pretty shocking to say the least:
1."I have so many people hit the call light and then are worried because they are bothering me. 'Ma’am, you hit your call light after two and a half hours. I’ve had people hit call lights every 15 minutes. I was about to check on you anyway because you were too quiet.'"
2."People are always so worried about pooping while giving birth and it truly happens at least half the time if not more! It’s a sign of pushing with the right muscle group and the baby descending. There’s usually so much else going on that it’s such a minor/routine thing."
"More seriously, most people comment that working labor and delivery must always be a happy place to work. Even when things are uncomplicated and everyone is healthy, it is so intense and demanding. Complications are pretty common and are frequently traumatic even when they ultimately resolve. And people don’t know how frequently we support people through infant and pregnancy loss, family/partner abuse, or a huge range of other intense situations. It’s awesome to get to celebrate birth with families, but it’s almost never easy/ simply happy."
3."I get screamed at regularly. Sometimes other patients hear it and they can't believe anyone would ever yell at a nurse. All. The. Time."
4."11 years ago I was an EMT, and I would respond to an opiate overdose daily. Most folks back then were surprised by that. That was before Fentanyl really took off. Also, people shit their pants more than you'd think."
5."I'm an ER doctor. The list is endless, but everyone who has an object stuck in some orifice in their body always starts with a dumb story like 'I fell on top of it.' Like, just be real and admit you were being kinky. Another thing is when IV drug users say they got a spider bite that got infected when they were just using dirty needles. Most spider bites don't cause those types of wounds."
6."I've had women be embarrassed about a stuck tampon to the point they won't even say it out loud. I'm like, 'Do you have any idea what else we've seen?' Just in the time I've worked in this field, we've had shaving cream cans, plungers, grape stems, billiard balls, and forks stuck in various orifices."
7."Vomiting feces. Granted, I've worked at a surgical ward that deals with issues related to stomachs/intestines, so all poop vomiting folks end up there. It's about as unpleasant as it sounds."
8."People are surprised when I mention that we get patients with malaria even though we are in the US. The hospital I worked in at the time had a busy international airport, and almost all of the patients came from countries where malaria is much more common but they didn't have symptoms until they were in the US."
9."I am a 911 dispatcher. People always feel so bad and are profusely apologetic if they pocket-dial 911. This happens multiple times a day. No need to apologize. It really does happen all the time. That or people often preface with 'this is super weird' or 'this is super unusual' followed by the most mundane statement I’ve ever heard."
10."Shitting themselves. Of course I'm graceful and empathetic about it, because for many people it's a humiliating and traumatic experience...but, for me, it's Tuesday."
11."Panic attacks. I actually love those calls because I get to tell the patient, 'Listen, I’m a total stranger to you, and hopefully, you’ll never see me again, so you can let go of whatever’s on your mind, and I’ll listen.' What usually proceeds is about a half-hour of the juiciest gossip in the back of my ambulance while I get to eat my lunch and sit in the air conditioning. Usually, the patient feels a lot better by the end and doesn’t want to go to the hospital anymore. Sometimes people just need someone to talk to, and the best treatment is a listening ear."
12."Spent quite a bit of time as a temporary surgery intern, where I was partially in charge of suturing and dressing wounds. People come in with gashes and say, 'I'm really worried you can't fix this.' Meanwhile, I'm relieved that the wound is on their limb or scalp and not inside their mouth or near any organ. It's like, let me inject the anesthetic and gimme 15 minutes, this one's easy."
13."People doing the deed in their hospital room."
14."The umbilical cord being wrapped around the baby’s neck. It happens in like 25% of deliveries and isn’t dangerous at all unless it’s tightly wrapped."
15."Awake brain surgery where the patient is talking or doing some kind of task is relatively common."
16."Naked people, even if there's no reason for their nakedness. I work for the ambulance service and I can't count the amount of times I've turned up to a job to find the patient has no clothes on or is in some way exposed. Sometimes, they can't help it, like an elderly person falling off the toilet or while dressing, etc. Sometimes they really can. Like, excuse me sir, I'm here for your headache, please put your balls away."
17."People self-harming. I don’t mean like cutting themselves, but actually slamming their heads into the corners of doors or windows. Purposely jumping off a second floor. Slamming arms and fingers into doors. Swallowing crazing objects. I’m an RN at a jail."
18."My family is SHOCKED that I get yelled at regularly by family and patients, and that people hit, kick, punch, bite, spit, etc. on or at me on a regular basis."
19."My mom worked in nursing homes for older people. And she told me that older people still have that longing for sex. And it doesn't matter if the person is a man or woman. But men were more extreme than women."
"She said there was an old man (70) who wouldn't stop masturbating the whole day. They couldn't stop him either. He didn't speak either. Another man kept the yogurt cups, but nobody knew why. Until they had to search his room because it smelled funny. Then, they found 20 cups full of sperm. Then they started searching his room every 2-3 days. And yes, the cups were filled every time. Another time, they found out that two men and two women had created a sex group and were having fun with each other every day or night. It's OK when it's not forced. Older women didn't just flirt with the nurses, they groped, slapped butts or pinched too. Hardly anybody believed her and her colleagues. And the uppers just say, 'It's part of the job.'"
If you're a medical worker, let us know in the comments if you have any situations that belong on this list.
