What Does It Really Mean to Trust Your Gut?
Emily Eldridge/Adobe Stock
Making a big life decision can be agonizing: Should you quit your job and start your own business? Have a baby? Dump your partner? Even if you are shuffling your tarot cards, shaking your Magic 8 Ball, or checking your horoscope to find an answer, deep down, you know it’s all up to you. And there’s always some well-meaning person reminding you to just “trust your gut,” which isn’t always helpful—particularly if the last time you did that, your gut told you to get back with your ex, and we all know how that turned out.
But according to people who actually study decision-making, intuition is a real thing—and there’s a way to tap into it to help you make big choices in a way that’s slightly less scary than throwing the dice and taking a leap.
“Gut feelings can be an important source of evidence, in the same way that we use our eyes or our ears to gather evidence, to build beliefs about the state of affairs so that we can make the right kinds of decisions.” Karl Friston, MBBS, a professor of neuroscience at University College London, tells SELF.
What exactly is a gut feeling?
A gut feeling, also known as your intuition, is basically unconscious intelligence. While it can be empowering to believe answers simply come to you out of thin air, your intuition is actually grounded in your personal experiences, prior beliefs, or even what surrounding people tell you, Dr. Friston says. Essentially, your body might reflect your state of mind without you even being aware of it, in the form of something like a queasy feeling in the pit of your stomach. “Don’t deny your body,” he says. “That’s a really sensitive and important source of evidence.”
Put another way, intuition isn’t some sort of “magical talent or extra sensory perception,” Gary Klein, PhD, a cognitive psychologist who specializes in decision-making, tells SELF. “Expertise depends on tacit knowledge, on subtle cues, things that people didn’t even know that they knew, and something like a spidey sense.”
While it’s a good idea to make note of what your intuition is telling you, it’s also wise to question your initial “gut feeling” and look at all the factors that might be affecting it, says Dr. Klein. “The real world is complicated, it’s complex, and it’s chaotic,” he says. “The information we get is ambiguous. It’s part of what makes life so exciting, but also makes it hard to know exactly what we can trust.”
The good news is, there are expert-recommended strategies for using your intuition that can better set you up for success when taking a leap into the unknown.
First, take a beat to reflect on the past. Have you made the same type of decision over and over—because it’s just what you do—and had some not-so-great outcomes? That could be a sign that it could be time to rethink your reflexive approach. “Be aware of the mechanisms of your own decision-making,” says Dr. Friston. “There is a balance between going with what you normally do, and the kind of decisions you normally engage in, versus thinking about things.”
“When we are in a new situation, there's usually a very rapid pattern-matching process that happens without our awareness,” says Dr. Klein. To identify if you’re on autopilot, ask yourself: “Is this the kind of choice I always make, or did I really think about it?” Second, be clear about what’s most important to you. Not everything in life is super hard to define. There are some things you can know about yourself, like what makes you happy, Nell Wulfhart, host of the Decision Coach podcast on Audible, tells SELF. But all too often, there’s a mismatch between what you decide to do and the life you want to live. To home in on what’s important, Wulfart says you should make a list of things that bring you joy in your everyday life (like getting recognition for your work or not having to set your alarm). When you’re stuck on what to do, you can refer back to it as a checklist. “Pick the choice that is going to get you to what you want in the most direct line,” she says. Finally, know that even if it doesn’t “work out” as you envisioned, you’ll probably be okay in the long run. Most of the time, decisions simply aren’t the end of the world. “If you have a choice that feels risky or exciting versus one that feels safe and maybe not as world-expanding, you can probably change your mind later,” says Wulfhart.
Expect to learn from whatever choice you make, for better or for worse. “Life is going to be filled with regrets, and some people try to forget the regrets and forget the bad decisions…and other people say, ‘What can I learn from it that didn’t turn out well?” says Dr. Klein. The only thing you can do is own your past mistakes so you can make better choices going forward.
Regardless of the uncontrollable future, give yourself some credit for using your “unconscious intelligence” in a conscious way, says Wulfhart. “We make the decision with the best information we have at the time,” she says.
Related:
3 Things to Do When You Overthink Everything and Can’t Make Decisions
3 Things to Do If You REALLY Want to Cancel Plans But Feel Guilty
Get more of SELF’s great service journalism delivered right to your inbox—for free.
Originally Appeared on SELF
