Doing This 1 Thing Every Week Makes My Workweeks Way More Fun
If you’re like me, your workweek probably looks a lot like this: wake up to a buzzing alarm clock, scroll social media and check email from bed (even though I know I shouldn’t), work out, get dressed, rush around until the start of the workday, work, log off, eat dinner, watch TV, go to bed. Rinse and repeat.
It can be hard to break out of this boring-yet-comfortable routine, but I’ve found that when I don’t, my workweeks are mundane, dull and bleed together — which is not the way I want to spend such a huge part of my life. And maybe you can relate.
With the workweek accounting for more than 75% of the week, I decided a few years ago that I needed to make a change to infuse some fun and levity into my days. Plus, I’ve now learned that this added enjoyment has physical health benefits.
So, what is it? Simple:I spend time with friends one night each workweek.
While some plans are meant for the weekend (like taking a day trip to see friends who live a drive away), others are not. These can be the difference between a boring week and a fun-filled, even joyful, workweek.
My goal is to have plans with friends at least once during the week, and always on a work night. It isn’t always possible, but even something as simple as a planned walk to get ice cream in the summer with my neighbor or signing up for a dance class with a friend fit the bill. It doesn’t have to be a big night out with dinner and drinks — although that is sometimes on the schedule (in fact, that’s exactly what I have planned during this cold January week).
Not only do these after-work plans give me something to look forward to on a Monday morning, but it keeps my weeks from feeling boring.
Danica Harris, a somatic therapist and coach based in Texas, said her clients notice the monotony, too.
“If they don’t make intentional effort to connect with people, they just kind of feel stuck in this mundane every day,” Harris said. “If we’re not making intentional effort to create some fun or have some novel experiences, or connect with people who we actually enjoy, we’re not experiencing much differentiation in our days, and that’s probably going to impact our mood.”
If you’re anything like me, you’ll likely feel pretty down, bored and low-energy if your weeks don’t include some variety.
“When we’re spending time with other people, especially people who we like, we’re able to not only have that little boost in mood ... we’re also able to feel more connected, we’re also less likely to feel alone,” Harris said.
Harris added that a lot of her clients are perpetually lonely. There’s a loneliness epidemic in the United States, which is scary for a number of reasons as loneliness is linked to health issues, like depression and heart disease. So, those just-for-fun after-work plans are actually so much more.
Here are some other benefits that come from this practice, plus a little advice on implementing it for yourself:
Experiencing fun can promote healing from factors that are causing harm to our mental health.
Life isn’t meant to be slogged through, but many people are not conditioned to have fun, Harris said. Think about it: We’re conditioned to grow up, pay bills, work and get older. But why?
“We’re not really looking for those feel good or positive experiences ... so many of us our happiness, contentment, joy, excitement [is] pretty suppressed.”
We get used to the boring, the mundane, but “fun is actually super, super important for us,” Harris said. “It allows us to connect to our inner child, it can be very healing.”
And, in the current socio political climate, we have to allow ourselves a break from the doomscrolling and the chores, Harris added. “We need to get outside. We need to experience different things.”
Time with loved ones also boosts your overall happiness.
An 80-year Harvard study found that the best predictor of lifelong happiness is having close relationships ― more than wealth, social class or fame.
“Other people help us extend the good days and optimize the happiness from that. And they also help us persevere through the difficult times,” Tim Bono, a lecturer in psychological and brain sciences at Washington University in St. Louis who specializes in positive psychology, previously told HuffPost.
“If we had to reduce all of positive psychology down to a single piece of data, it would really be about the strength of our connection to other people,” Bono said.
“If you have to make the choice between spending extra time at work every night of the week, or every once in a while closing your laptop and finding some friends and going out and strengthening the bond you have with them, make sure that you’re balancing it so that you are really prioritizing your connection to other people,” Bono added.
So, how do you establish a community and prioritize friendships?
This may sound like an impossible feat if you don’t consider yourself someone who already has a community, but Harris said there are ways you can go about creating one for yourself. You can start really small.
“Maybe it’s just about getting out in the world and being around people,” Harris said. For instance, you could go to a coffee shop and read or go to the grocery store instead of ordering your groceries for delivery.You can also try signing up for a class where you can cultivate a hobby and meet new people, whether that’s online or in person.
“Sometimes it’s a matter of getting our systems and our bodies used to social engagement, and so I would say just getting out in the world a little bit more in small ways, especially if that feels anxiety provoking to you,” Harris said.
Or if you feel like you don’t have people to hang out with, think about the folks whom you interact with regularly such as coworkers, members of your faith-based groups or people in your fitness classes. You can ask someone from one of these groups out for a coffee or to grab lunch after class. “That’s been a pretty successful thing for a lot of my clients,” she added.
You can also think about the relationships that have fizzled out, not because of any malice or big reason, but just because of life. You can reach out to those folks and say something straightforward like, “Hey, I haven’t talked to you in a year, and I’m going to do a better job of being socially connected this year. Would you want to grab dinner?” Harris said.
And if you do have a community of friends already, work to strengthen those bonds. You could start a book club with your neighbor friends or set up a regular night out with your college bestie. Intention is the key, as it’s easy to go months and months without seeing loved ones face-to-face.
It can, of course, feel scary to put yourself out there and try to make new friends, establish new in-person gatherings or rekindle things with old friends, but it’s truly worth it. Not only will your workweek feel more fulfilling, but your mental health and physical health will thank you in the years to come.
