EYNTK about the divorce process
Getting divorced is never an easy process. It can be hard enough to make the decision to end your marriage, but then you have to deal with lawyers and all the paperwork that comes with getting divorced.
But, in 2022, the divorce laws in England and Wales were given an overhaul, which has hopefully made the process slightly less painful. The Divorce, Dissolution, and Separation Act made no-fault divorce the default and only option. “This enables couples to make a joint application for divorce on mutual terms, and initiate divorce proceedings without needing to cite ‘unreasonable behaviour’ or make inflammatory accusations about the other’s conduct,” says Emma Hatley, Partner, Divorce, and Family at Stewarts law firm.
Previously, one person had to blame the other person, citing adultery, unreasonable behaviour, or desertion. Alternatively, the couple had to live separately for two years. It’s also no longer possible to defend a divorce petition, which Hatley says was “often a colossal waste of money and extremely acrimonious”.
Hatley says the 2022 legislation was “long overdue”. “It was a game changer for couples,” she explains. “By taking some of the heat out of the divorce process at the outset, it’s now easier for parties to focus more on what really matters — in particular, the resolution of the finances and agreeing arrangements for any children of the family.”
According to Hatley, the legislation “has made the experience easier and much less stressful for our clients”. She continues: “Couples now have a much better chance of starting the process off on a constructive and collaborative footing.”
How to get divorced: explained
Now you know more about the new divorce legislation, it might be time to start thinking about how to get a divorce. This step can be daunting enough, but if you’re unsure of the divorce process as well, the whole thing might feel quite intimidating.
Want to know how the process works or how much a divorce costs? Solicitor Caroline Elliott, a divorce specialist and partner at law firm Roythornes Solicitors, explains everything you need to know, breaking down the process into these steps:
Complete a divorce application
Send it to the court with a copy of your marriage certificate
Provide your financial details as part of the ‘financial disclosure’ process
The respondent acknowledges they’ve received the divorce application
After 20 weeks from the court issuing your application, apply for a ‘conditional order’
After six weeks and a day, apply for a ‘final order’
“It’s a lot easier than people think,” Elliott says. “That’s because, although it has to go through a ‘court’, it’s really an administrative process. The courts aren’t there to make people stay together who don’t want to be, so as long as you fill the form in properly and don’t make any hideous mistakes, it’s probably going to be OK.”
And while it may be easier with some help from a lawyer, you don’t actually have to have one.
“It is really straightforward. I would suggest getting legal advice, but you can pretty much do it all yourself if you’re confident about it. The complicated thing with divorce is not the dissolving of the marriage but the sorting out of the issues surrounding that. It’s the money and issues about children where you’ll need a lawyer,” adds Elliott. So if you’re thinking about going through the divorce process in England or Wales, here’s everything you need to know.
Divorce process in 6 steps
1. Complete a divorce application
The first thing you need to do is fill in a divorce application. Before the law change in 2022, this was previously known as a ‘divorce petition’. If you fill in the application, you are the ‘applicant’ (previously the ‘petitioner’), AKA the person steering the ship. Thanks to the recent legislation, applicants can also do a joint application for a divorce.
You can find the application form online. “You fill it in and it almost talks you through it with lots of footnotes explaining what the sections mean,” Elliott says. What information will you need for this? Names and addresses, dates of birth, where you got married, all pretty basic info.
Previously, the next step was the tricky bit, as the ‘petitioner’ had to give ‘grounds for divorce’. This was broken down into specific categories, including adultery, desertion, and unreasonable behaviour. If you didn’t want to have to blame someone, the only other option for couples was to live separately for two years before getting divorced. Thankfully, the 2022 legislation made this part of the process much easier. “The only reason you can give is that the marriage has broken down irrefutably,” explains Elliott. “You don’t have to say why or whose fault it was or anything like that.”
In fact, even if you wanted to blame someone, you can’t. Interestingly, Elliott says that while the legislation was a welcome change for most people, some clients were upset that they couldn’t blame their partner if they felt they’d caused the marriage to break down. “I don’t think any family lawyers particularly thought about it because we just thought anything that reduces conflict is great. But actually, quite a lot of people said: ‘Well, what do you mean we can’t say whose fault it was?’. So that was a bit of a surprise.”
2. Send the application to the court
Once your application is filled in, there are a few other bits you’ll need. “You need to have either the original marriage certificate or an official copy that you get from the local registrar. That costs around £12,” Elliott says. There will also be a court fee at this point (currently £652) and the application won’t be issued without a payment being made.
“The applicant has to pay that, but people often agree to share the costs. If you’re on a very low income you can sometimes get an exemption from some of the fee, but you have to make a separate application and produce details of your circumstances.”
3. Financial disclosure
“You don’t have to sort your money out as part of the divorce, it’s not a pre-condition of getting divorced,” explains Elliott. But, she says, it’s “good practice to sort your finances out at the same time”. That’s where financial disclosure comes in. “You have to exchange information about your financial position and then hopefully come to an agreement.”
Elliot explains how it works from a practical point of view. “In the application, there’s a question asking if you want to make a financial claim and you just tick the box,” she says. “Very often people don’t know exactly what there is [money-wise] to argue about. We have a process called financial disclosure which means that before you start even considering how you’re going to divide things up, you both need to be open and honest and provide information about your finances. This tends to be done in parallel to the application.”
4. Respondent acknowledges receiving the divorce application
Once you’ve completed the application, the court has to issue it and send it to the other person. One big change to this part of the process following the law reform was the introduction of a 20-week ‘cooling off period’, which starts once the court has issued your application. “You can’t get your conditional order until this 20-week period has passed,” explains Elliott (more on what a conditional order is below). She adds: “The government says this is intended to provide a meaningful period of reflection and the chance to reconsider. But if your divorce is inevitable then you use that period of time to cooperate and sort other things out.”
Although you now have to wait 20 weeks, the process is relatively straightforward. “Once you’ve sent it off to the court, your ex-partner will then get a copy of it — so they’ll know what you’ve said [in the application]. The person on the receiving end — the ‘respondent’ — then has to send back an acknowledgement form confirming they’ve had the papers,” explains Elliott. Previously, at this point, the respondent could state whether they were going to defend against the grounds for divorce, but the 2022 legislation now means it’s no longer possible to defend a divorce.
5. Complete a Conditional Order
Next, the court sends a copy of the respondent’s acknowledgment to the applicant. Once the 20-week period has passed, you can then apply for a conditional order, which was previously known as a ‘decree nisi’. “I think the whole idea of changing that terminology was to sort of make it more accessible,” says Elliott. “The ‘decree nisi’ and ‘decree absolut’ was a bit old-fashioned.” So, what does the conditional order actually mean? “This is the point where the court says: ‘You’ve filled the form in properly and we agree it can go ahead’.”
6. Complete a Final Order
“Once you’ve got your conditional order, after six weeks and a day, if you’re the applicant, you can apply for the final order. That’s the bit of paper that dissolves the marriage,” Elliott says. “When you read that someone’s got a divorce in six weeks, what it actually means is they’ve actually just got the final order, it doesn’t mean it only took six weeks. That’s what people refer to as a ‘quickie’ divorce in the tabloids because they don’t understand the process.” The six weeks and a day is essentially another cooling-off period in case you change your mind.
How long will the process take?
“It’s going to take a good six months [in total],” says Elliott. “It’s not going to be a quick thing by any means. But I think that’s part of the intention, so people can not rush into it and think about it.”
How much will it cost?
This depends. “Aside from the court fee, it would probably cost about £600,” Elliott says, “but that’s only dissolving the marriage. The expensive part of it that can run into thousands of pounds if there’s lots of arguing with the money and children side of it.”
“The more people can try and agree — even if it’s difficult — the less expensive it will be. The costs can run away when people just won’t engage with it or argue with every tiny little bit. Pick your battles and don’t fight about the little things, it’ll only cost you money. Most family lawyers operate on hourly rates rather than fixed fees because you don’t know how long it’s going to take or if people are going to argue,” she adds.
Will you have to talk to your ex throughout the process?
You don’t have to, but it might help if you can. “It’s better if you can communicate with your ex-partner — especially if there are children involved. Even though you’re not going to be married anymore, you’re still parents — so if you can retain some semblance of a relationship, it’s better for everybody,” Elliott says.
However if it’s hard to talk to them or a domestic abuse case, then don’t.
Getting through it as quickly and painlessly as possible
Elliott says it can be a simple and stress-free process if you:
- Don’t get bogged down in the finer points
- Discuss things as much as you can between yourselves
- Don’t take tiny points and make them into a big deal
- Don’t use your children or money as weapons against each other
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