Fit in my 40s: this tennis ball launcher’s got me running like a jackrabbit
In the great list of things I would never have considered without a lockdown, the tennis ball launcher is probably in the top 10. Why have a Slinger Bag when you could have a partner? Why play in your garden when you could go somewhere that was the right size, like a tennis court? All these questions answered themselves when we weren’t allowed out or to see anybody, but even with lockdown easing, it still seems unbelievably versatile.
You can play in a titchy garden or on a balcony (get ready to lose a few balls). I saw a video of someone in New York playing it indoors, though I think that’s only if you trust your accuracy or don’t care about any of your stuff. And even with courts tentatively back open, I can still see its superiority over a human partner. It is much more consistent. You can set it to your skill level. And it doesn’t have feelings.
I remember ball launchers from my youth and they were pretty lame, puffing out balls asthmatically in a very predictable direction, getting wilder the older and more knackered the machine. This is better and more ergonomic, even before you start playing: easy to manoeuvre, no bother to charge, intuitive to set up. The broad settings are beginner, intermediate and pro, which I didn’t delve too far into (I’m not even intermediate, and nor are the kids, even though one of them, at least, claims to be the best tennis player in the postcode). But there’s also an oscillator pad that basically fires the balls in random directions. This is meant to improve agility, obviously, but it’s also a better workout than a regular game of tennis; it’s tireless, has no psychological tells, and has you running about like a jackrabbit to keep up. You can adjust the elevation bar to vary distance and speed, to a maximum of 45mph. You can bring the ball speed down enough to incorporate mini-circuits between balls – ideal for people who like to work incredibly hard and feel nauseous after a short time.
Related: Fit in my 40s: 10-year-old girls love it, but will skipping work for me? | Zoe Williams
In the end, if you have a titchy garden, you can’t escape it: very soon you want more space. It’s on wheels so you can take it to a park, but that feels like a huge breach of modern etiquette. I recommend having an ex-spouse whose garden is gigantic. It’s actually better than a tennis court because when you’re not hung up on what’s in and what’s out, you can concentrate on your own consistency, accuracy, reflexes – all the stuff you need before the rules mean anything.
The Slinger Bag is an outlay, though, no question (slingerbaguk.frameworksports.com); at the other end of the price spectrum is the boxer’s ball, a tennis ball attached to a headstrap with an elasticated string. It doesn’t do much for your tennis because you punch it, rather than hitting it with a racket. But it is good for your accuracy, presumably it improves punching speed and it’s peculiarly engrossing, both to watch and to do.
What I learned
The higher the machine’s speed, the greater the topspin effect, which looks incredibly professional if you can master it.
