Fourth of July etiquette advice for yourselves, your neighbors and your furry friends
Q. It is almost the Fourth of July again – a holiday which we dread every year and so do our three sweet furry friend dogs.
We have some “if you tell me not to do something, I am going to do it anyway” neighbors. We are not supposed to shoot off fireworks in our subdivision, but it is as if there is no rule (or law, really) at all.
Our dogs are so afraid of all the loud pops and even the brightness. One tries to hide under the bed and if he gets there, then he whines. Another one shivers and shakes and eventually throws up. And the last one, which weighs about 60 pounds, wants to just sit on my lap, which isn’t pleasant, especially when it lasts for hours and hours. We also cannot go anywhere to watch fireworks where you are allowed to go because we think it would be so unfair to our dogs.
Not sure what we can do about it because it is not just the next door neighbor, it is several within a couple of blocks. We just don’t understand how inconsiderate people can be. We did think that maybe we could at least talk to our next door neighbor and ask them if they would not do it. Would that be out of line from an etiquette perspective? Or if this makes it into your column, maybe some of these people will realize they are not supposed to do it and what a terrible effect it has on pets.
A. Thank you. This is definitely a question and a subject which warrants attention and definitely a spot in my column. The problem you describe is one that is not uncommon when it comes to the Fourth of July, fireworks, not following the rules, traumatized pets, and frightened little children and inconsideration. It happens in my neighborhood and other neighborhoods as well. It also sometimes continues until late in the night.
While I wish the solution were as simple as going over to your neighbors and politely asking them not to shoot off fireworks because it is illegal, or it scares my dogs, I realize other than “ticking them off,” it probably isn’t going to do any good.
Some of my friends go visit family members who live out in the country where there are no fireworks, and that works for one night perhaps but not everyone has friends who live out in the country and besides that is only one night so what do you do the other nights when there is more fireworks.
Some people take their dogs to an out-of-the-way pet friendly hotel for the night, but it only solves the problem for that one night.
There is a type of “thunder” shirt you can purchase for your dog which helps keep it from becoming agitated, and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.
Some people call their local police to come to the home(s) of those shooting off the fireworks to tell them to stop. It’s a shame that is an answer to the problem because the police have plenty of other problems to solve. Besides, once the police leave, the individuals usually start shooting off the fireworks again.
Hopefully, the local news stations will make a lot of announcements explaining where public fireworks are scheduled to take place and areas where fireworks are prohibited. The same for local newspapers. And hopefully a lot of people will read this column.
Q. If a long time ago, your neighbor told you, you can come over and use their pool, but you never did. And what if they have a Fourth of July party every year and you attend. Then this year they are not going to have a pool party; they are going out of town for a family wedding. So is it being too forward if you ask them if you can use their pool on the Fourth of July?
A. I firmly believe it is not a good idea to use someone else’s swimming pool unless the owners are in the pool area as well, or at least in the house somewhere.
Q. We are invited to a Fourth of July party, and they have asked us to bring our swimming suits. Is it a real faux pas if I don’t bring mine? I have not been in a swimsuit for at least 10 years. Should we regret if I am not willing to wear a swimsuit?
A. Believe me, you probably will not be the only person who does not bring a swimsuit to this party. You do not need to feel obligated to regret going to the party if you do not bring or want to bring a swimsuit.
