'Frugal' Bride Fighting with Her Fiancé Because He Wants a Big Wedding They Can't Afford: 'Completely Against It'
"He feels obligated to invite all his extended family members, and I don’t understand it," the bride wrote in an anonymous submission to an advice column
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Bride arguing with groom (stock image)A woman is asking for advice because her fiancé wants to have a wedding beyond their means.
In an anonymous submission to Dear Abby, an advice column written by Abigail Van Buren, a woman explained how her fiancé is insisting they have a wedding they can't afford. Although the self-described "frugal future bride in Florida" is "thrilled" to get married, the potential financial burden is putting a damper on her upcoming big day.
The newly engaged woman explained in her submission that her fiancé is a "wonderful man" and they have never had an argument until now.
"Weddings are expensive, and we agreed on a budget," she wrote. "We will be paying for this on our own. Once we started getting into all the costs, we quickly realized we will have to lower the number of guests or increase the budget."
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Bride upset with groom (stock image)The woman said it doesn't make sense to her to cause financial strain in order to accommodate wedding guests they barely see or talk to. Instead, she thinks they should save money and not invite them.
"I am completely against increasing the budget to accommodate family members my fiancé hardly talks to," she continued. "I wanted a small wedding anyway. He feels obligated to invite all his extended family members, and I don’t understand it. I love him, but why are we obligated to overextend ourselves for people who won’t be a major part of our lives going forward?"
In response, Abby pointed out the positive of the situation — that the bride and groom can work out their financial differences and learn how to communicate better now without it becoming an issue later on.
"Dear Future Bride: Be glad you are having this argument with your fiancé early in your engagement," Abby replied. "I say this because questions about priorities and how money is spent are among the chief reasons marriages break up."
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Abby gave her opinion on how the bride-to-be should resolve her problem, suggesting that wedding costs could be cut elsewhere.
"Although this may add to the expenses attached to your wedding, it could head off many problems down the road if the two of you get pre-marital counseling," she wrote back. "There may be other ways to cut costs rather than shorten the guest list, particularly if your fiancé feels his family members might feel slighted if they aren’t invited."
