I go through haunted houses and watch horror movies to relax. Is something wrong with me?
Few things in life bring me more comfort than the roar of a chain saw.
Something about horror has always brought me a deep sense of peace. Scary movies never fail to put me to sleep on planes. "Hereditary" was my go-to comfort watch as I recovered from a septum surgery a couple of years ago. Slashers, in particular, make me feel meditative. Haunted houses also feel like home − and Halloween is my favorite time of year because of them.
Every fall, I walk through as many scary attractions as I can. I make an annual pilgrimage to Halloween Horror Nights at Universal Studios Hollywood, often going multiple times to soak up every gory detail. This year, I also attended media previews of the Los Angeles Haunted Hayride and Creep X Ghosts LA Experience − both of which left me feeling relaxed and refreshed.
All this led me to wonder... what is it about the horror I find so appealing? Why do haunted houses calm me down? And, more importantly, is something wrong with me?
Turns out, people are drawn to horror for a host of reasons, many of which escape our conscious awareness. While going through haunted houses or turning on a scary movie to relax might sound ridiculous to some, in many ways, it actually makes perfect sense.
"There's actually, from my understanding, a lot more pros than cons (to getting scared)," psychotherapist Marni Feuerman says. "We find that afterwards, there's a more calming state that comes over people after they've gone through something like that."
Why do people like me find horror relaxing?
I consider myself an anxious person, which makes my love of horror baffling to friends and family. I'm a chronic overthinker, and I frequently worry about the future. So why does all feel right in the world when a masked man is waving a chain saw in my face? Why do demons, ghosts and killers put me at ease but sending a touchy email or text stops me in my tracks?
To get to the bottom of this, I spoke with multiple therapists. Two immediately asked me the same question: Did I have a traumatic childhood?
Thankfully no, I tell them − my upbringing was, all-in-all, pretty great. Both say they ask because, sometimes, those who've experienced trauma find horror comforting − a welcome, fictional distraction from their own pain. Some mental health professionals also believe people seek out horror as a way of gaining agency over their own trauma, though this view has become controversial.
"It's thought that they have a compulsion to repeat the traumatic experience until they gain mastery over it, and, therefore, can no longer be internally threatened by it," therapist Erik Anderson says. "I think of it as probably being a myth because we don't have great evidence to support this."
My life hasn't been too traumatic, but I am quite anxious. Is that why I like haunted houses?
Psychotherapist Stephanie Sarkis says maybe. After all, people cope with anxiety in a variety of ways. For some, horror is a useful way of releasing stress. For others, it only exacerbates it.
One reason anxious people may be drawn to horror is because it allows them to safely face their fears and even have fun with them. Like other forms of play, such as video games, horror entertainment lets us imaginarily enter into terrifying situations and, ultimately, feel as if we survived them.
Doing so makes our anxieties seem less threatening − like if something terrible were to actually happen to us, we'll be OK.
"It recreates environments that we may encounter in real-life situations," Anderson says. "If we play with them and find them enjoyable, we gain a greater sense of mastery over it."
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Not to mention, getting scared every once in a while is good for you.
Feuerman says that, when we go through haunted houses, we get an adrenaline rush. When this passes, our brains release feel-good chemicals as a reward for surviving the perceived danger.
These chemicals create a sense of euphoria, and it's good to experience this relief, at least every once in a while.
"It kind of does almost like an emotional reset," Feuerman says. "There's some research that even says that people feel more resilient after as well. Almost like they've tested themselves that they can get through some of these scary, more challenging types of experiences, and it makes them feel pretty good and pretty strong."
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After speaking with these therapists, I'm still not totally sure why I love haunted houses. Maybe I'm just a run-of-the-mill adrenaline junkie. Maybe they make me feel more resilient. Or maybe it's something deeper.
Haunted houses are one of the few places where I'm not worried about my life or what the future holds. I'm not stressed about the economy or the divisive presidential election. Inside a haunted house, none of that seems to matter. All that matters is the chainsaw-wielding maniac in front of me.
There's something beautiful about that.
"You're in a haunted house. There are people jumping out at you. You are present," Anderson says. "You're in the present moment, identified with this task in front of you, which is making it through this experience. And, really, that sounds a lot closer to well-being than it does to the suffering of sitting in your office and wondering about what's going to happen next and what you still need to do and how other people feel about you."
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Surrounded by fake zombies and cannibals, I feel grounded, aware and centered like nowhere else. These monsters remind me to stop and pay attention to the present moment because it's all we have.
And when I do, life doesn't seem so scary after all.
This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Horror movies, haunted houses calm me down. Is something wrong?