I'm Raising My Child In The Netherlands, And This Is Something I Never Expected

When you think of the Netherlands, canals, tulips and biking everywhere may come to mind — and those are among the reasons Americans are drawn to the country. Over 31,000 Americans live in the Netherlands, representing around 6% of the country’s total immigrants, and that number has increased over the years.

I was lured by the scenic charm — which the Netherlands certainly delivered. What I couldn’t have imagined was the peace this country would give me in a decision that wasn’t easy for me to make: having children.

For a time, the thought of having kids brought on so much anxiety that I kept putting it off, and instead focused on my career and building a business. I didn’t expect how much this small country would make parenting feel so natural. Here are some unexpected things I learned about raising my child here.

Biking At 30 Weeks Pregnant

You can imagine the look on my face when I showed up for my first midwife appointment and saw a line of parked bikes with pregnant women hopping off them, bellies much bigger than mine. When I thought about pregnancy, I imagined morning sickness, resting at home and counting down the weeks until week 40, but that was not my experience here. Instead, I joined the crew who biked to every midwife appointment until I couldn’t anymore.

Yes, I was lucky to have a relatively smooth pregnancy. However, pregnancy in the Netherlands is generally treated as a natural part of life. Doctors, midwives and coworkers alike approach it pragmatically. My experience is that most people don’t see you as fragile; rather, they encourage you to listen to yourself, make your own choices and adapt as you need. It’s just another season of womanhood.

As Andrea Hamlet, an international board-certified lactation consultant from California who’s lived in the Netherlands for over six years, told HuffPost, “Pregnancy here is seen as a natural process, not a medical condition. I was able to relax in a way I don’t think I could have back home.”

Postnatal Care And Parental Leave

Living in a foreign country often means you don’t have family around for support. That’s why the postnatal care in the Netherlands is truly a lifeline. Here, new parents receive the support of a kraamzorg, a maternity nurse who visits your home every day for about a week after birth and helps with the essentials like feeding and bathing the baby, understanding your baby’s signals, while also handling household chores so that you can focus on healing and bonding.

Also, parental leave makes it easier to make long-term adjustments and focus on your life with a child. In the Netherlands, mothers are entitled to a minimum of 16 weeks of maternity leave (6 weeks before the birth and 10 weeks afterward).

Both parents also share 26 weeks of parental leave, with nine of those weeks paid at 70% of their income. Paid leave can be used within the first year of the child’s life. The remaining time is available as unpaid leave until the child turns 8 years old, allowing families to customize their time at home as needed.

In addition to the leave policy, the Netherlands provides financial support for parents of young children. They can receive up to 282 euros per quarter when their child is a newborn to help with basic expenses, and tax credits are available to reduce child care costs.

Letting Kids Be Independent

One of the biggest surprises for anyone visiting or raising children here is the level of independence kids have. In the U.S., the thought of letting a child walk to school or take public transportation alone can make a parent’s heart skip a beat. However, in the Netherlands, fostering independence from a young age is the norm, and the community completely supports it.

Sim Sawyers, an American mom and photographer living in Amsterdam, noticed this difference immediately.

“In the U.S., [many] kids don’t take the bus or walk to school; everything is very car-centric. Even as teenagers, they’re often dependent on parents to drive them places, which can feel both restrictive and unsafe at times. Here, I love how much freedom kids are given — it’s good for them to grow up with that sense of independence.”

Hamlet also shared her relief in watching her son explore freely: “He can meet friends at the movies, go for a drink, or bike to the ice rink. He’s almost 14, and I’m so grateful he can have the same kinds of experiences I had in the ’80s—safely. My only concern here is traffic, and I don’t worry about things like drugs, drunk driving, or guns.”

A Community That Thinks About Kids

One thing that immediately stands out here is how integrated children are into everyday life. Family-friendly spaces and a judgment-free approach to raising your children are woven into the community. UNICEF’s study on child well-being consistently ranks the Netherlands among the top countries for children’s happiness, mental health and safety. This is due, in part, to the supportive environment parents experience here, which extends across all aspects of society.

What I’ve seen is there’s a collective understanding that everyone is doing their best, and judgment around parenting choices is rare. Hamlet described it as “such a relief”: “I don’t feel judged by other parents. I love the family-oriented aspect of this country,” she told HuffPost.

The community rallies around families: High-end cafes and neighborhood restaurants offer kid-friendly spaces with high chairs, play areas and children’s menus. Parks are abundant, and the safety of these spaces gives parents the peace of mind to allow children the freedom to play and explore.

Sawyers highlighted how, even in a bustling city, it’s “incredibly child-friendly, with a park on almost every block.” She marveled at the inclusivity, adding, “You walk into a high-end cafe, and they have four high chairs and a whole bookshelf full of games for kids in the back. It’s not something you’d expect, but it’s there, and it’s normal.”

This acceptance of children and emphasis on their well-being makes navigating parenthood easier, creating a welcoming community for families.

I’m grateful we made the move and found a community that values happiness, independence, well-being and inclusivity. This has made the journey of parenthood much more peaceful and given me the freedom to raise my child in a way that aligns with my values.This article originally appeared on HuffPost.