Influencer mom sparks parenting debate after only one of her twins gets invited to a party. Our editors weigh in on the viral birthday debacle

An influencer and mom of twin girls sparked a parenting debate online after only one of her daughters was invited to a classmate’s birthday party.

Earlier this month, Kristen Fox went viral after asking her followers for help after only one of her 5-year-old twin daughters received an invitation to a classmate’s birthday party. In a Nov. 11 video to TikTok, Fox said “she knew this day was coming” but wasn’t sure how to handle the situation.

“I’ve been racking my brain on what to do…I feel like it’s an all or nothing situation," she said. "So, either both are going to the party or none are going to the party.”

Fox said her gut instinct was to message the mom of the child having the party to confirm whether the invitation was for one or both of her daughters. If only one of her twins was invited, Fox said she would RSVP no because it would hurt the girl that wasn’t invited.

The post prompted debate amongst followers, with many encouraging Fox to allow the twin that received the invitation to attend the party solo.

“Twin here,” one person wrote. “Please don’t take away the opportunity of the one child to attend because the other was not invited. That’s life...”

“Please let your kids have their own friend groups,” an adult twin said. “I never wanted to be forced to go places just because my sister was invited… I know you are protecting their feelings…”

Others cautioned that if Fox reached out to the mom hosting the party, she would feel obligated to invite both girls.

Fox shared that the invitation was sent via Evite, and that most of her daughter’s class was invited.

The mom replied and said that both girls were invited and that she didn’t know why an invitation wasn’t sent to both of Fox’s twins.

Other parents and Fox’s search on Google AI revealed that the same email address can’t be added to multiple recipients. Fox said she believed this was why her daughter Jayna was invited and not her daughter Kinsely, because alphabetically the invite would only be sent to Jayna.

“I applaud you for looking out for them both!” A follower told Fox. “I would have done exactly the same thing. You’re a great mom!”

“Aw, so glad it worked out,” another echoed. “I agree, good job looking out for girls!”

In an interview with People, Fox said she received a lot of hate online for her decision to ask for clarification.

“People told me I'm entitled. They told me that my twins are individuals and they're going to have their own friends. And look, I totally agree,” she said. “There will be a time and place where only one gets invited to things. There's gonna be many times in my life where there's one invited and one is not, but this is for a 5th birthday party. These kids are so young, and they're in the same class and they're the same gender."

The situation prompted lots of discussion amongst our team of editors.

Keep reading to see what we had to say about the situation.

Hilary Hagerman, Lifestyle & Commerce Managing Editor

I feel for this mom! I’m not a parent, but you can bet your butt that if I was, I would lose it if my child wasn’t invited to a birthday party. As the twins grow older, I’m sure they’ll find their own groups of friends, and it will likely become more natural for them to hang out without each other. But at such a young age, it would feel downright mean to exclude one twin – or really, anyone in the kid’s class for that matter, and I would like to think the parent of the birthday girl has enough sense to think that too.

I know the TikToker got some hate for reaching out to the mom, but I think she was in the right to try to clarify the situation. And turns out it was a total misunderstanding. If she didn’t reach out, personally I think the situation could have festered more.

Sarah Rohoman, Shopping Editor

Given how young the girls are, I think the mom was totally right to reach out to the other parent. As the girls grow up and make their own friends, it makes sense that they’ll be invited to things that the other may not — but at five-years-old, it’s either bizarre or cruel to leave one of them out. I’m not sure why the mom got so much criticism; she wasn’t rude and approached the situation from a rational standpoint. And it turns out that mom was right and it was all a misunderstanding!

Melina Brum, Shopping Editor

If the twins were older, I'd totally say it's OK for them to have separate friend groups. However, being so young, I totally understand the mom's "all or nothing" mindset. Honestly, I'd feel the same way about wanting to avoid picking up the pieces for her little girl. In fact, I'd worry about enabling some sort of internal conflict if I didn't address the situation and just let the other twin go.

I don't get why she received so much criticism for clarifying things with the other mom — it turned out to be the right call, anyway! Her approach was totally reasonable, she wasn't rude about it, and her feelings are valid.

Elizabeth Di Filippo, Senior Lifestyle Editor

I would have done the same thing if I were this mom. There will definitely come a time when her twins will enjoy separate activities and friend groups, but five is a big age for emotional development. I don't think five year olds have the capacity to understand the situation, and people seem to be forgetting just how small five year olds view the world. There's plenty of time for those experiences and conversations — but not when you're five.

Also, I don't like the idea that Fox was "guilting" the mom hosting the party by asking for clarification about the invitation. This kind of thinking feels very antiquated and suggests that Fox should have been a people pleaser and avoided potentially rocking the boat instead of being an advocate for her children and their emotional wellbeing. Get it together, folks!

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