This Instagrammer went up three dress sizes -- and she couldn't be happier

Krista Thurrott
·Lifestyle & Shopping Writer
<i>Photo via Instagram/Danica Marjanovic</i>
Photo via Instagram/Danica Marjanovic

Eat less carbs, exercise 30 minutes a day and restrict alcohol – these are all common efforts to lose those last 10 lbs. For some, there is a resounding belief that we’d all be happier if we weighed just a little bit less. One blogger subscribed to this same belief — until she decided her mental health deserved better.

Danica Marjanovic, a 24-year-old body positive blogger, admits that after a long history with body dysmorphia as a teenager, she struggled to see herself as beautiful – even at her smallest size. At a U.K. size 10 (North American size 6), she was miserable, continuously trying to lose weight, never feeling happy with her appearance.

fuck. I remember looking at the left photo and thinking how curvy I still was and how much weight I still needed to lose. I can remember visibly looking at my arms and thinking they were still so big. not small enough. not small enough. not small enough. I didn't exercise to get that size. I cut out pure forms of carbohydrates for an entire year; ENTIRELY cut them out. no bread, no potatoes, pasta, cereal, grains. I lived off fat through meat and cheese. – the wake up call that things were getting waaaay to obsessive was when me and my mum were flying to Croatia, I 'couldn't' eat anything on the menu except for soup and when I ate it I realised that there had been croutons in it and spat them out. Croutons the size of my baby fingernail. My attention span was non existent, my anger issues were getting worse by the minute, I was falling asleep constantly and just empty – but why? SKINNY MAKES YOU HAPPY? it's the number one visible sign that someone is happy and successful and well loved and happy with them self, right?? no no no no no no. NO. self love is true happiness, knowing you are better than that diet is happiness, knowing your arm fat doesn't equal respect is happiness, choosing to walk away from years of self hatred is happiness, putting your mental health first despite the pain of putting on weight is happiness. gaining weight was the official nightmare come true for me, I scared myself so much throughout my life that FAT was the worse thing I could ever be that the day I actually became fat was something that I am still accepting but refuse to see as something negative. fat bodies are not bad, fat bodies deserve love, fat bodies are successful. I CAN ACHIEVE ANYTHING I WANT IN LIFE IN THIS BODY. I AM BEAUTIFUL.

A post shared by DANICA MARJANOVIĆ (@lovefromdanica) on Aug 2, 2017 at 11:59pm PDT

“I’ve always had a curvy body, so I think that’s also what played into my body dysmorphia. Even when I was so slim, I was probably about a size 10 on top, to me that still wasn’t good enough,” Marjanovic told the Daily Mail. “I started my journey with body positivity probably about a year ago. I blog about my body because I’ve suffered quite low self esteem my entire life.”

ALSO SEE: ‘The one photo I wanted to share doesn’t match up to my life today’

Today, the Belfast native wears three dress sizes larger and is embracing her new body by joining a plus-size modeling competition. She has been documenting her body acceptance journey on YouTube, her personal blog and Instagram account. With more than 34,000 followers, her story of love and acceptance in the pursuit of happiness is a positive one, but for Marjanovic her old photos remind her how she used to feel.

My self care is different to yours. I might like to work out, you might like to lean off working out to balance your life from obsessing exercise. You might tell me I eat badly but I could be eating intuitively and 'non clean' after years of restrictive diets to help myself be able to eat different foods without shame. you might make lists of all the productive things you do to challenge your self, I might aim to get dressed today and battle my depression. My point is that everyone's way of showing care to themselves is so unique, we cannot ASSUME people's health by what they are or not doing. I have made leaps and bounds of recovery process from as a little as 3 months ago, 2 weeks ago, even yesterday! self care does not mean you have to work out 5 times a week eat a certain way, please remember this. people can influence you and encourage you and that's brilliant, but you need to work out what is beneficial for YOU and no one else.

A post shared by DANICA MARJANOVIĆ (@lovefromdanica) on Aug 22, 2017 at 9:28am PDT

“When I look at photos from back then, I can remember the exact emotion that I felt at that certain time and I just remember being really unhappy and miserable,” she said. “I went through a really nasty break up which kind of brought to the surface a lot of mental health issues that I have been battling with for years that I never really got the right help… I wanted to start posting about body positivity online, I kind of thought to myself – what was the scariest thing I could do that would challenge those insecurities that I have about myself.”

ok so today I want to upload this picture. I will never beat around the bush with these posts; initially when I seen this photo I was horrified, “how fat do you look!” “look at the way your stomach hangs” “how did you even remotely feel good about yourself?” see the thing is with me is that usually before I see a photo of myself I do feel really good about myself, when I around 16,17 and starting to go out for the first time at a heavier weight I always loved to dress up and wear what I wanted; it wasn’t until my ED voice told me how fucking stupid and ugly I was to even think it was acceptable to wear such things. rewind to as early as this january this year; seeing this photo would have spiralled into weeks of self loathing and starvation/ obsesivley exercising. people ask me a lot how I started my journey with self love and bopo and the answer is I became TIRED, I became so exhausted with putting my mind and my body through daily torture since I was 12 years old. I am over hating my body and shaming myself, I am OVER GUILT TRIPPING MYSELF – I have done it my entire life. i want to live and enjoy life without pressure of what society deems attractive or healthy. I want to quickly shout out 3 people yesterday who really helped confirm to me that MY HEALTH is 1) non of your business and 2) not relevant to the level of respect and love i am worthy of receiving. these beautiful ladies are @thevagaggle @yourstruelymelly @bodyposipanda health and body positivity are not related. self care and health? yes if that is what you consider as your own personal act of self care, which is great! excersise really helps with my anxiety but its not related to my body positivity. to wrap this post up I want to point out all the things I love about this picture.. my outfit my smile my legs my boobs my tan

A post shared by DANICA MARJANOVIĆ (@lovefromdanica) on Aug 2, 2017 at 7:51am PDT

After searching for inspiration online, Marjanovic found a modeling competition for plus size models. Miss Curvaceous is a modeling event focused on body positivity, encouraging women to feel confident.

ALSO SEE: ‘When your body changes, it can be scary’: Blogger gets real about body-positivity

“I’m not a model. I’ve never done a catwalk, and I have to be walking in front of judges. That alone is going to be a big deal for me body [dysmorphia] I’m just generally really excited to go to the audition,” she said. “Two years ago I couldn’t walk down the street without having a panic attack, so coming from that level to being able to walk in front of people and being proud of my figure. To now be up to U.K. size 16, it’s possible to love yourself at any size.”

belle of belfast

A post shared by DANICA MARJANOVIĆ (@lovefromdanica) on Jul 30, 2017 at 8:03pm PDT

According to Eating Disorder Hope there are at least 600,000 Canadians meeting the criteria for an eating disorder at any given time, making messages like Marjanovic’s even more important.

“You are beautiful if you have stretch marks, you are beautiful if you have stomach rolls, you are beautiful if you have cellulite. That doesn’t determine your level of respect from others.”

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