This Jeweler Says Your "Trendy" Engagement Ring Might Not Stand The Test Of Time — Here Are The Styles She's Warning People Against
Fall is here, and with it, everyone you know getting engaged. The Knot reports that a whopping 37% of US engagements happen between November and February. The three-month period from Thanksgiving to Valentine's Day is, unequivocally, engagement season.
Which makes September and October...ring shopping season.
The world of engagement rings is rife with misinformation and upselling schemes that bank on people not knowing any better — which, if this is their first time getting engaged, they probably don't!
But professional jeweler Michelle Keller is here to demystify engagement rings. She's based in Baltimore, Maryland, and is the designer behind Bijou Lab, crafting seriously beautiful custom engagement rings. Michelle makes videos for her brand on TikTok and Instagram, where she strives to create accessible, bite-sized pieces of content covering everything you could want to know about ring design.
Michelle has been designing fine jewelry for seven years and now focuses solely on engagement rings. When she started, she "wanted to take a totally different approach," she said. "When I got engaged, my personal ring was a super popular current design (the thin-band solitaire) and has broken or needed repair multiple times."
She added: "Sorry, husband! I still carefully cherish it!"
On Bijou Lab's social media, Michelle discusses engagement ring cut, metal type, setting, stone selection, durability, and more. By far her most popular content, though, is her video series on ring styles to avoid. She knows how symbolic and sentimental an engagement ring truly is, and wants to help people avoid the "heartbreaking" experience of a lost or scratched stone, a bent ring band, and more.
"It's the advice and resource I wish I had when I was getting engaged," Michelle told BuzzFeed.
Back in March, content creator Camden Scott revealed that the diamond in her wife's engagement ring had fallen out not once but TWICE. The first time, they miraculously found it and sent it back to have it reset; when they got it back, the stone fell out within a day and was never found. This happens all over Reddit, too:
Needless to say, Michelle does NOT want you to end up like these poor fiancées, and keeps durability top of mind when designing her rings.
"I worked with two scientists at MIT to test 3D models of different ring designs. We looked at their resistance against external forces to better understand what actually makes a ring durable," she said. "I utilize a lot of civil engineering concepts when designing rings, and that’s also the foundation of what I teach in my educational videos; I just apply the concepts to jewelry and try to make it more digestible!"
Here are her top tips for choosing a ring that will last as long as your love (we hope that means eternally!):
Note: Some ring images below differ from what was used in the original @thebijoulab content.
1.Start with a band that's wide enough.
Michelle's absolute number one tip? Steer way, WAY clear of those lovely, ultra-thin ring bands. She says people are after the "dainty" look, but the rings bend far too easily because they're so thin.
"Thin bands became wildly popular in the 2010s and are still a big trend. They’re so beautiful, but many of these rings are about as thin as a paperclip," Michelle told BuzzFeed. "The band is the foundation of your ring, and you really want to choose something that will provide adequate support for your center stone, as it's a truly heartbreaking thing to lose. I encourage people to get really dainty rings for their fun rings!"
She recommends choosing a band that's at least 1.8 mm in width.
2.Choose a durable stone.
Bijou Lab / Michelle Keller / TikTok / BBBGem / Amazon / Via tiktok.com, Bijou Lab / Michelle Keller / TikTok / AHTAMOS / Amazon / Via tiktok.com
Michelle often references what's called the Mohs Hardness Scale, a relative scale going from 1–10 that characterizes the scratch resistance (or hardness) of a particular gem. Diamonds rank the highest on the hardness scale at a 10.
Moss agate, beloved for its foresty look, is full of inclusions that give it its distinctive look. Inclusions are natural blemishes that can occur while a gem is forming, but they're also weaker points in the stone, which can lead to breaks. Moss agate also sits at a 6.5–7 on the Mohs scale. "For perspective, dust is a 7 on the scale, meaning merely by existing, your stone is gonna get scratched," Michelle says.
Opals come in at an even lower at a 5–6.5 on the scale. That's the same as glass, Michelle shared. "If you drop your ring once, it will shatter."
It's best to stick with something harder, like a diamond (lab-grown is cheaper and way more ethical!) or moissanite. They both come in WAY more colors than just bright white if you want that unique look.
3.Avoid the "floating" look.
"Tension settings" inarguably look very cool — like the stone is floating — but Michelle says they're not worth the risk.
"They always lack proper structural support," she told BuzzFeed. "A lot of these rings are created by designers without any oversight; it's essentially like if an architect designed a building and they built it without consulting a civil engineer to ensure that it has the proper structural elements to be safely used."
It's always safer to use settings with prongs or a full bezel that goes around the whole stone.
4.Also, avoid the all too popular four-prong setting without added security.
"A very common and classic setting that many jewelers carry (and truly shouldn't) [is] any engagement ring that has four prongs and no gallery rail or petal prong banding the prongs together. That carries a really high risk of losing your center stone," Michelle explained.
The gallery rail is the thin piece of metal that surrounds the center of your stone and connects all the prongs (called a "hidden halo" if it's embedded with smaller stones). If you don't want a gallery rail, go for six or eight prongs holding in your stone instead.
u/Slappy_McDiddles / Via reddit.com, u/NotAMiscreant / Via reddit.com
5.Consider your lifestyle — and what you're going to love on your finger for a lifetime — when choosing a ring.
Bijou Lab / Michelle Keller / Ariella Ben-Nehemiya / TikTok / Via tiktok.com, Andy Cheung / Getty Images
It's important to think about how often you'll wear your ring and what you'll be doing when you wear it: Think rigorous athletics or a job that requires working with your hands. Michelle made a video about rings to avoid if you work in a healthcare setting, citing a video of a nurse practitioner whose pointed stone poked a hole in her glove.
"If you're really active and never take off your ring, choose a setting that errs on the durable side: lower profile, no pavé, bezel settings, etc.," she told BuzzFeed.
"Low profile" means a stone that sits closer to your finger, and "pavé" refers to a line of small stones around the circumference of the ring.
Michelle highly recommends trying on rings in person to see what "resonates," because "what you like on your hand often differs from what you like on Pinterest."
And if you're looking to make your fingers appear longer, she says to choose a stone with "a higher length to width ratio [...] ovals, emeralds, pears, marquise, radiants will all have this effect."
Is there anything about engagement rings you'd like to see demystified, or a ring style you're wondering about the durability of? Let us know in the comments.
