Jon Bon Jovi was praised for aiding a woman in distress: What an expert says to do in a similar situation
Here's what an expert says you can do to help someone in a similar situation.
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Jon Bon Jovi was recently praised — not for his music, but for his heroic actions helping a stranger in distress. While filming a music video on the Seigenthaler Pedestrian Bridge in downtown Nashville earlier this month, the “It’s My Life” singer and a crew member noticed a woman standing on the ledge of the bridge. Online video footage shows the pair comforting the woman and lifting her over the guardrails back onto the bridge to safety.
While the Grammy-winning artist was at the right place at the right time, it’s not uncommon to hear about similar situations. Whether it’s a stranger you encounter or a loved one struggling with their mental health, taking the right steps to help prevent them from causing further harm can make a difference.
Yahoo Canada spoke to an expert on how to identify the first signs someone may be experiencing suicidal thoughts and how to help them during a mental health crisis.
What are the signs someone might be having suicidal thoughts?
According to Health Canada, around 4,500 people in the country die by suicide each year; the equivalent to 12 people completing suicide every day. Suicide impacts people of all ages and backgrounds, with men and boys impacted at a higher rate, while women have higher rates of self-harm.
When someone is struggling internally, it can be difficult to recognize what they’re going through when looking from the outside. It’s important to look out for odd behaviour that could save a life, whether you’re in a setting where you already know the person in distress or if you’re in an urgent situation.
Molly Fultz, a licensed master social worker (LMSW) at the University of Rochester Medical Center affiliate hospital, said changes in behaviours and a person’s talking patterns are the first signs someone may be struggling with their mental health.
Fultz explained the first signs someone is experiencing suicidal thoughts or attempts could vary. In those cases, you might see someone use more drugs or alcohol, talk about being a burden, withdraw from their usual activities, say "goodbye" to loved ones or feel hopeless. Recognizing these signs early are important to look out for, as they may indicate someone is in distress.
There are several emotional and behavioural indicators that suggest someone may be at risk, according to Health Canada:
Feeling:
Depressed
That they're a burden
Like they have no purpose in life or reason for living
Trapped or that there’s no other way out of a situation
Hopeless about the future or like life will never get better
Behaviours such as:
Being agitated
Changing eating habits
Changing sleeping habits
Giving away their possessions
Increasing substance use, like drugs, alcohol and inhalants
Withdrawing from family, friends or activities they normally enjoy
Saying goodbye or talking about what will happen after their death
Anxiety or significant mood changes, such as anger, sadness or helplessness
Talking about being a burden to someone or about being in unbearable pain
Increasing high risk behaviours such as reckless driving, dangerous sports or activities
While the signs vary from person to person, if you have the slightest hunch someone is experiencing these signs that hint at deeper issues, it's important to take action or seek help.
How to help a loved one in distress
It’s difficult to see a loved one experiencing distress as there’s an instinctual responsibility to be there for them. While you may not feel like you have all the answers to support them, consider approaching them with empathy.
When approaching a loved one going through a mental health crisis, it’s important to remain calm and actively listen to them, Fultz shared. This opens up a safe space for your loved one to discuss their struggles. Maintaining a non-judgmental mindset and patience are key to being the supportive person they might need, she added.
Your support can make a significant difference and guide them toward healing. Fultz said that's because when helping a loved one, a person can draw on mutual personal experiences or connections in their lives.
Moreover, communicate to your loved one that you’re there for them. You can also guide them towards the right resources and professional help.
Do not be afraid to ask people if they have an active plan for harming themselves.Molly Fultz
How to help a stranger in distress
Being caught in the middle of a public mental health emergency can be unpredictable. Bon Jovi calmly approached the woman he witnessed in distress in what appeared to be signs of reassurance, followed by a gentle hug.
Fultz explained even though a stranger may not have the same trust for you that a loved one has, you may have to have more patience and make it clear you are there to help them. Depending on the severity or life-threatening case of the situation, try to bring the individual to a safe, quiet space. Moreover, give them appropriate space and boundaries to protect them and yourself, Fultz explained.
Nobody is ever ready to face these situations. “It’s OK to feel unqualified to help someone in crisis,” Fultz added, noting you should make it clear you’re there for them.
When offering your support to a stranger, Fultz advised to ask them if there’s someone close in their lives they can get in touch with. Either way, if you witness a situation that could lead to a dangerous outcome, dial 9-1-1 immediately.
Where to seek professional support
Helping someone in distress can also take a toll on your own mental health. Thankfully, there are accessible resources available to everyone.
Hope for Wellness Help Line (1-855-242-3310) and online chat for First Nations, Inuit and Métis Peoples
Fultz shared while aiming to help others might come from good intentions, it's important you also take care of your own mental health in the process. She noted after the experience, it might a good idea to take note of your feelings, reflect on your needs going forward and establish boundaries when necessary.
“One of my favourite sayings that I often have to remind myself of is, ‘You can’t pour from an empty cup,’” Fultz shared. “You have to take care of yourself first before you can take care of others. Boundaries are extremely personal, and it may take time for one to figure out what their own boundaries are.”
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