Jully Black says perimenopause came 'like a thief in the night.' Now, the Canadian star wants to change the story around menopause

Jully Black can recall being in a bad relationship, sitting alone in the proverbial "mud" and thinking to herself, "'This can't be it for me. ... This type of treatment can't be it for me.'" It was 2016 and the Canadian singer had been experiencing abuse from her partner at the time.

Still, the award-winning artist, often called "Canada's Queen of R&B," put on a brave face. Amid touring for her fans, making TV appearances and bringing her exuberant energy on-stage, she remained a motivator despite the dark period in her life. But also around that time, she remembered her "hormones that were speaking, they were speaking to me loud and clear."

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Earlier this summer, the now-46-year-old Toronto-born star had decided to look over her medical records since she had been keeping track of them for years. Using the Dynacare app, a platform that allows Canadians to record their medical lab results, Black looked back at that time and realized something she hadn't known: She had entered perimenopause during that period.

"It amplified what I was already feeling. ... At the time, my inner voice was actually speaking to me loud and clear. I broke free," Black told Yahoo Canada, explaining how looking back, entering that phase of her life allowed her to gain clarity and escape that toxic relationship.

It was the right timing for Black, too. While her mother had been healthy at the time, it wasn't long after until Black had to step up and offer primary care to her "best friend." Her mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and eventually died in 2017.

Perimenopause came 'like a thief in the night'

Around that time, Black's symptoms began worsening. Amid the anxiety and depression around losing her mother, she began experiencing symptoms like joint pain, dryness, brain fog and being more tired than usual. These were, at the time, dismissed as conditions related to grief — and she had no idea they might've been related to perimenopause.

Now, Black is amongst several Canadian women in the music, film and television industries who have teamed up with the Sinai Health Foundation for its "Hot and Bothered" campaign. Joining forces with stars like Amanda Brugel, Caitlin Cronenberg and Natalie Brown, the project aims to address underfunding in women's health as well as help end the stigma and shame around menopause.

Growing up, Black can't recall a time where she learned about perimenopause, menopause or post-menopause — nor the symptoms that can arise with the life stages. "I wish I learned about this in school, in high school. They taught us about our period, they should teach us about menopause at the same time," Black noted, adding it was only when perimenopause "started to show up like a thief in the night" that she got some understanding of its effects.

Moments of grief amid menopause

Before Black's mom died, she remembered her asking a question: "'Jully, do you want to be a mother or do you want to have a baby?' And I instantly said I wanted to be a mother."

Black hasn't had biological children, and she noted she's never felt less than. Moreover, she's now in a healthy relationship where she has step-children and step-grandchildren to help raise. However, there have been moments where she's had to face grief — and menopause has been a reminder that it's too late for her own pregnancy.

One of those moments came after reflecting on her youth. She recalled being diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) as a teenager but was never encouraged to freeze her eggs. It wasn't until this year when she learned people with PCOS often have more eggs than normal. It was also when her naturopath said "you are in menopause" that she was hit with a moment of grief that she'd never deliver children.

"This is why I'm like, 'You know what? This is an opportunity. It stops here,'" Black said regarding teaching people about perimenopause, menopause and post-menopause. "It stops here and it starts here. The silence stops here and the advocation starts here."

Advocating for women's health — and dismantling stigma

Black said one of the reasons she teamed up with the Sinai Health Foundation is because she wanted to honour the women in her life — particularly her mother, aunties and grandmothers — who "actually suffered in silence going through perimenopause, menopause and post-menopause."

She recalled her mother having her menstrual cycle until she was 60 years old, and ended up having "severe menopause" that impacted the family. Moreover, she's said she's "watching my sisters have unexplained weight gain" as they go through their own experiences.

Black has also created her own support circle to share and compare her own experiences with menopause — all without judgement. She said it's been an "excellent" opportunity reflecting on changes and different stages with her two best friends, Jennifer Seif and Asra Lovelace.

The stories of people within her circle have helped shape her perspective, encouraged her to stay fit and pushes her to advocate for the future of women's health. And while she aims to make an impact in that sector, she said she wants to further removed stigma, especially that that's associated with Black women. "I would like to abolish, rebrand, get rid of the term 'strong Black woman,'" she said.

But with her own story, she noted she feels excited to get older — and she's happy to take on menopause head first. "Ever since I've embraced this season, I've never felt more like a woman," she declared.

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