Just a round up of the best Halloween jokes for spooky season
It's Halloween! Which means whacking out your best costume, having some spooky-themed cocktails and telling a Halloween joke or two. Here are the best one-liners to have up your sleeve.
Because, let's face it, whether you're going to a Halloween party or have a work social in October, the chances are you could benefit from having a (yes, slightly cringe) spooky joke to tell. Or maybe it's when you want to lighten the mood after watching a horror movie, or during a Halloween film marathon?
Best Halloween jokes and puns
What's a vampire's favourite fruit?
Neck-tarines
What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?
A squash
What kind of bread do zombies use?
Whole brain
Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
Because he had no body to go with
Where does the ghouls send letters?
At the ghost office
Who did the ghost take on a date?
His ghoulfriend
Why did the ghost quit studying?
Because he was too ghoul for school
Where does a ghosr go on vacation?
The Dead Sea
Why don't skeletons like Halloween sweets?
They don't have the stomach for it
Why don't people like vampires?
They're a pain in the neck
Why do vampires love lollipops?
They're suckers
Which monster loves going clubbibg?
The boogeyman
What car does Frankenstein drive?
A monster truck
What does a ghost call a mistake?
A boo boo.
Why can't the skeleton play music in the church?
Because they've got no organs
What do witches put on their bagels?
Scream cheese.
What happens when a vampire goes out when it's snowing?
Frost bite
Why didn’t the scarecrow eat dinner?
He was already stuffed
Where do werewolves hide their Halloween costume?
In a werehouse
Why did the vampire need mouthwash?
Because he had bat breath
What kind of food does a witch have for lunch?
A sand-witch
How does a skeleton say 'hello' in French?
Bone-jour
What's the problem with twin wizards?
You never know witch is witch
Where does a ghost go on holiday?
Mali-boo.
Where do fashionable ghosts shop for clothes?
Boo-tiques
How do mummies start their letters?
Tomb it may concern
How do ghosts get their hair to stay in place?
They use scare-spray
What do birds give to trick or treaters?
Tweets
What’s a ghost’s favourite dessert?
I scream
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Sham-boo!
When do cows turn into werewolves?
During the full moo-n
What do ghosts eat for dinner?
Spook-ghetti
What do ghosts where for bad eyesight?
Spook-tacles
Why didn’t the skeleton want to go to trick or treating?
His heart wasn’t in it.
Why are zombies so hard to understand?
They’re very crypt-ic
Where did the zombie buy a new home?
On the road with a dead end
What did the witch do when she got very angry?
She flew off the handle
What is a vampire’s least favourite food?
Stake.
Why are vampires terrible at playing rounders?
Their bats fly away
What do the ghosts play on the beach with?
Boo-ckets and spades
What's a mummy's favourite genre of music?
Wrap
What does a panda ghost eat?
Bam-BOO
Why didn't the zombie go to work?
He felt rotten
What happened when the vampire was ill?
He couldn't stop coffin
What does a zombie call his parents?
Mummy and Deady
Did you hear about the grumpy pumpkin?
It needed to lighten up
What's the skeleton's favourite band?
The Dead Hot Chili Peppers
Why shouldn't you date a mummy?
They're too wrapped up in themselves
Why do ghosts like to ride in the lift?
It raises their spirits.
What’s a monster’s favourite movie?
Romeo and Ghouliet
How do witches set their hair?
With scare spray
How do you get out of a graveyard?
Use a skeleton key
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