Kate Middleton was criticized for lacking 'work ethic' after her abdominal surgery. What that says about how we treat women who work

ICYMI, Kate Middleton recently returned to work — kind of. The U.K. royal, who underwent abdominal surgery on Jan. 16 and was discharged from The London Clinic two weeks later, was reportedly back to work shortly after.

Kensington Palace said on Tuesday that Middleton is still "doing well," after Prince William was pulled out of an engagement last minute and social media speculation ensued.

Several media outlets have previously reported Middleton was working from bed and ensuring "her work will continue to be carried out." This came only weeks after Middleton's office announced the royal would be rescheduling public duties for the next several months as she recuperated.

While that sounds like a rational and necessary decision to make, the internet had other thoughts — primarily that Middleton was being "lazy" and has a "lack of work ethic."

Excuse us while we roll our eyes. Yes, Middleton is a privileged member of the royal family, but the criticisms and expectations held of her to work through an illness is a lot more telling about what we expect from women in the workforce in general. That expectation needs to change.

Here's what experts say about the criticism — and how a Canadian woman navigated internalized expectations in her workplace.

How the 'ideal worker' has affected how we view time off: Expert

Tracey Adams, a professor of sociology at Western University, says the criticisms of Middleton came as a surprise. She thought these expectations of people to work when they're sick had already changed thanks to the COVID-19 pandemic.

With people deterred from working in-person due to the spread of COVID-19, as well as a rise in the number of cases of burnout in healthcare workers, "it had appeared that as a society we would accept people prioritizing health and well-being," Adams told Yahoo Canada. "I had hoped we had seen a reduction in social pressure for people to work when they are not well."

This societal pressure is one that stems from men, the expert claimed. "In the working world there is an 'ideal' worker, one who is always available for work when needed, and who will prioritize work roles over everything else in their lives," she explained. While these characteristics of an "ideal" worker might vary across occupations, one thing that persists is the overarching expectation that work will be everyone's top priority. Given the fact that men have historically been in the workforce longer, they have been the people to set the ideal standard for a worker in most respects, including when it comes to health.

Due to stereotypes of what it means to be masculine, and the fact being sick might be viewed a sign of weakness, there's an idea that "if [men] are sick they should 'suck it up' and keep working regardless," Adams claimed. This expectation means that anyone else who takes time off may be seen as "slacking," not as committed, or not "tough enough" for their jobs. — including women.

And this pressure can come from within; it did for Carolina Gonzaga.

The Toronto-based woman was in management at a retirement community when she was pregnant in 2019. From the start, she planned to only take four months of maternity leave, not necessarily because of anything her employer at the time had explicitly said, but because of the value she'd tied to her career. "For a long time it was my identity," Gonzaga admitted to Yahoo Canada. "It was more important to me to have that, to know who I am and to feel comfortable in the world."

When her daughter finally arrived, Gonzaga knew she would need more time off. She returned to work after seven months, with her husband staying home for the remaining five. "I was too frightened to ask for more than seven, even though nobody on the other side had told me I couldn't," she said.

How personal responsibilities can impact women's income

For a number of women in Canada, in addition to their 9 to 5, they're also taking on 5 to 9 responsibilities like family, with 72 per cent of Canadian mothers aged 25 to 54 returning to the workforce after having kids. As any parent knows, this means you're not only taking time off for yourself and your own illnesses, but often have to do so for their kids, too.

In fact, a recent study from Statistics Canada found that when the pandemic hit in 2020, women with children under five saw the number of lost working days increase from 4.7 days in 2019 to 9.2. The number hasn't decreased since.

Looking back, Gonzaga realized she deflected many questions about her return to work. She would say, "My husband is not as focused on his career, he likes being home, he's more in tune with our daughter, he's more the type that plays with her, and I'm just not good at it so it just makes sense.'"

But it wasn't true. "I have realized through therapy that that's the story that I told myself, and I was really playing the role of the reluctant mom to make more sense," she shared.

Having children directly affects women's income and whether or not they advance in their careers. According to a 2015 United Nations report, having a child decreased Canadian women's income by 5 per cent an hour compared to co-workers without.

Even if a woman doesn't have kids, assumptions about her perceived competency and "toughness" still impact her earnings. A 2022 paper from MIT Sloan Associate Professor Danielle Li found that female employees are 14 per cent less likely to be promoted than their male counterparts.

Part of Gonzaga's own fear over taking more time for maternity leave came from the treatment she'd seen of a previous co-worker who'd taken the full 12 to 18 months. Once they returned to work, they were replaced on their first day back from maternity leave because her role had changed. "I've seen that happen many times," she said.

What needs to happen to create change for women who work?

While Middleton will eventually return to work and things will return to normal (she doesn't, after all, have to worry about a promotion), Adams said there needs to be a shift in how we view time off and those who take it.

"The focus should be less on what women should do, and more on the need to change societal attitudes," she added. "Taking time off for illness does not reflect weakness. Work rewards should be based on performance rather than presence or extra-long hours.”

Over four years out from her experience returning to work, Gonzaga said she doesn't regret her decision because it gave her husband the opportunity to spend time with their daughter in those early days, but it did have an tangible impact. "I do feel that it took longer for me to bond with my daughter in a way that I felt, 'OK, now I'm really there,'" Gonzaga said.

If she were to have another child, the mom would do mat leave differently; taking the full 12 months and then having her husband take paternity leave after. But that isn't in the cards. "I'm never going to get that time back and I'm also never going to have another kid," she said.

"A part of me not having another kid, there's a million reasons, but one of them is: I don't want to have to make that decision again."

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