Be kind, be polite and make a difference in your community. Here are some suggestions

Dianne Isbell has written an etiquette column for the Belleville News-Democrat since 1987. She served as director of protocol for U.S. Air Force Communications Command before retiring in 2001.

Dear Readers:

My neighbors and I were having a little get together at this older lady’s house on my block after work on a recent Friday night.

Somehow we got to talking about the bad week we all had had and how rude and inconsiderate our society is today. If only people would just start doing one kind, considerate thing each day for someone else.

Having heard that I said, “OK, I will make this the subject of my next column if you all start giving me your thoughts. Together maybe we can make a nicer day for a neighbor or someone we don’t even know.”

Gee whiz, it didn’t take very long and we had quite a list which I will share with you here. I challenge each of you, my readers, to select one or two of these good deeds and try them. Then let me know what you did and how it turned out and how you felt.

  • I often get a call from my wife asking me if I will stop by the grocery store on the way home from work to pick up some milk so rather than go to the grocery store with a bunch of other shoppers, I will stop at Walgreens thinking I can run in and get out fast. Well, seems like with my luck, there is always someone ahead of me in line with a bunch of stuff and I mean a bunch of stuff. When I have a bunch of stuff and see someone behind me with only milk or a few things, I always offer to let them go in front of me. That’s my good deed. It just never seems to happen to me that someone says I can go in front of them — but I wish they would ‘cause I am tired, hungry and don’t really feel like standing there for a long time. So this is something simple for anyone to do which would be very much appreciated.

  • Why is it that when you are trying to merge onto an interstate, no one wants to let you merge in front of them, so you’re like hanging out almost on the side of the road. I just don’t understand the stubbornness or lack of empathy. When it is bumper to bumper, what is it going to hurt to let someone in? it’s not like you have to slow down to 5 mph to let them in because you are already at 5 mph. I always let one of these drivers merge in front of me and most of the time I don’t even have to put on the brakes. I just leave plenty of space in front of me and they can pull in and I don’t even have to put on my brakes.

  • Health promoters always say to park in the back of the parking lot and not in the front so that you get some exercise. It is a good idea unless you are older and have a difficult time walking perhaps. Not everyone who needs one can get a handicap parking placard; therefore, when you drive through the front row of a parking lot and you see some older man or woman driving slowly looking for a spot, stop your vehicle and allow them to park there instead of yourself. They will be so grateful.

  • You are at the post office in a line waiting to mail a small package. A couple of people behind you is this older gentleman who is balancing three packages. Turn and politely ask him to move up in front of you as you ask him if you could hold his packages.

  • You and your wife walk into a restaurant and add your name to the waiting list. They tell you it will be about 20 to 25 minutes until you can be seated. An older couple behind you submits their name and they are told about the same length of time before seating is possible. When your name is called or your buzzer buzzes, you turn to them and ask them to take your place and you will wait until their name is called.

  • It’s raining and you are just leaving the grocery store with one or two small items. There is an older lady in front of you pushing her car towards the parking lot and she does not have an umbrella. You have your umbrella already up over your head but you quickly move over to this lady and ask her if you can hold your umbrella over her and accompany her to her car and hold the umbrella over her head until she gets all of her groceries into her vehicle.

  • You know your neighbor is ill and it is difficult for him to walk his dog. You give him a call and ask if you can walk his dog for a few days.

  • You know your neighbor is ill and you are going to the grocery store and drug store. You call and tell your neighbor where you are headed and ask if there is anything you can get for them while you are going there anyway.

  • There is a storm and you are out picking up sticks from your yard. There are a bunch of limbs in one of your neighbor’s yards so you take the time to ring their doorbell or call them and tell them you are “in the mood for picking up sticks from the storm” and would like to pick up some of theirs.

  • You are in the grocery store, department store, or drug store. There is a little lady in a wheelchair. She looks beautiful. You stop near her, excuse yourself and tell her how beautiful she looks, or how pretty her hair is or how you like the top she is wearing.

  • You are at a laundry facility and you see someone trying to come through the door with a fully loaded laundry basket. You dash over and “authoritatively” offer to take the basket and bring it in.

  • One of your neighbors has a family member in an accident. Go over to express your concern and ask when it would be a good time to make dinner for the family and bring it over.

  • You are in the mood for baking cookies, so you bake a few extra and drop some off at the drug store pharmacy or the post office.

  • You are in the grocery store and you see someone trying to reach something on the top shelf. Since you are tall, you step over and ask if you can get the item for them.

  • Your neighbor is struggling to start a lawnmower. You know lawnmowers like the back of your hand. You go over to help get it started and if you can’t get it started, you offer your lawn mower to them.

  • Your neighbor doesn’t have a pick up truck and you do. You are planning to go get some dirt and mulch so you ask your neighbor if you can get some for them, too, since you are making the trip anyway. When you bring it back, you help unload it where the neighbor would like it placed.

  • Your neighbor is older and you know it is difficult for him or her to take the big, full garbage can out to the street for garbage pick-up days, so you tell them you will take it out each week for them and bring it back to its spot the next day after it is empty.

  • You have a friend or neighbor who has cancer and is taking cancer treatments almost every day. If your schedule permits helping, you offer to drive the patient or the patient and family member to some of the treatments.