Lauren Toyota is getting real about her thoughts on motherhood.
On Wednesday, the former "Much Music" reporter shared a video to her YouTube channel, sharing her thoughts on motherhood since welcoming her son, 15 months ago.
The 40-year-old revealed her biggest revelation is "mainly" that she doesn't "want to work," but also doesn't want to be a stay-at-home mom either.
Since getting back to her career, Toyota admitted she has lost her "focus" and gone through "a bit of an identity crisis."
Overall, Toyota loves being a mom, which she admitted came "unexpectedly."
Another aspect of motherhood that surprised her is how much easier it is than what she initially anticipated. Before welcoming her son, she described motherhood as "the worst thing one could ever choose to do," she confessed.
"I certainly didn't think that I would enjoy it so much," she added. "I'm obsessed with my child."
Toyota recalled the connection with her son was "immediate."
While she doesn't want to come across as someone who pressures others to have children, "Now that I've gone through what I've gone through, I feel like you gotta have a kid — even though you're not supposed to say that."
Toyota shared she and the father of her son co-parent, which allows her to regularly have "forced" time to herself three nights of the week and most weekends.
"It's very important to me to try and maintain my own identity to some degree," Toyota continued. "You do get lost in your child and everything becomes about them."
The "Hot for Food Vegan Comfort Classics" author confessed despite her best efforts to maintain her individuality, she is struggling to find her motivation.
"I also have zero ambition," she said.
I'm not sure what the hell I'm doing.Lauren Toyota (Youtube)
Another challenging component to being a mom, for Toyota, are finances due to "inflation and everything."
"That's something that's stressing me out," she admitted. "But I'm trying to just stay clear and focused and not go down a path of negative thinking."
The former broadcaster's video diary was met with supportive messages from fans.
"I'm very happy to hear how much of a natural evolution motherhood has been for you," one person penned.
"Thank you for this video! I’m thinking of having kids and I’m scared AF," a commenter shared.
During her pregnancy, back in September 2022, Toyota took to Instagram with an important message to all mothers, letting them know they don't need "permission" to make time for their health.
"This morning I asked for permission to go to yoga," she began. "I haven't been in 14 months."
She added: "Next time I'm just going to say, 'I'm going to yoga. Bye.' Choose your words."
"Here’s a lesson," she captioned the post. "Moms, you don’t need permission."