"I Learned This The Hard Way": People Are Revealing The Life-Altering Advice They Wish They Received When They Were Younger
As we get older, there are some things we experience that would have been incredibly helpful to learn when we were younger. So when Reddit user —perfectstudent_ asked: "What's one piece of advice you wish you had received earlier in life, and why?" a handful of people provided their personal takes. Here's what some of them said below.
1."Don’t fight your boss at work. Never worth it. If you disagree, you can say that when it’s the right situation, but you don’t want to be hated by your boss just because you were trying to lecture him/her. It’s likely to hurt their ego!"
"I just gave my teenage son a longer version of this:
Basically, anytime a manager/boss proposes some change or asks for your input, they are looking for 'buy-in.'
Bosses do not often think they have bad ideas. Sooner or later, even the most humble people begin to feel they have become the boss for a reason.
Sometimes, they approach you because they genuinely like you or see you as a leader among your peers. They might start by casually phrasing the idea as whimsical musing, like 'I wonder if maybe…' Do not be fooled. In my experience, more often than not, this decision has already been made.
Seriously. Even they might not know it yet. But to them, the very fact that they, a manager, a boss, a Chosen One, have conceived of it means it has to have some merit.
A lot of times, you have heard of variations of this idea before. You might even have attempted it with poor results. So you know it’s trash, and the temptation to tell your manager this can be overpowering. You think, wrongly, that this abomination is in its infant stages and, like a time-traveling assassin, you can save yourself and your coworkers untold amounts of strife and wasted effort by killing this thing in the crib.
Just the opposite is true. Immediate, strong opposition will likely make them want to implement it even harder. Not only did you fail to keep it from happening, but you made a reversal less likely because they would be much more reluctant to admit you were right. Even worse, you will be remembered as the person who didn’t want it to succeed, and you will be the face of its failure in their eyes. What? Did you think they would blame themselves for their shitty idea?! Oh, sweet summer child labor…
This doesn’t mean bosses are incapable of truly wanting honest feedback or that you can’t give your honest opinion. If you have evidence of past failures or good reasons why the plan might not succeed, share them dispassionately. But always, always remember to end with a promise to give it an honest try if they want to go forward anyway. (Hint: they do)
Most of the time, your only shot at getting a manager to reverse course is to show them you gave their idea a real chance to succeed, then presenting evidence why it might not be working."
2."Do not compare yourself to others; instead, focus on your own journey."
3."That 'urgent' weekend/late-night project will make NO difference to your employers. Turn off your phone and enjoy your me-time"
4."Just be you. People will hate you no matter what you do or how pleasant you try to be. They will always find a way. Be unapologetically yourself always."
"Part Two: Most adults who want to 'shake you up' and give you a taste of the 'real world' are actually just young people who failed their own dreams and aspirations. Their reality doesn't have to be yours. Keep the fairy tale of life you created, hold it tightly, don't lose it."
—None
"But continue to strive to be your 'best self.' You can and should try to change the negative aspects of yourself."
5."You can always walk away from another person's narrative of you, but make sure to balance it out with good people who would call you out on your shit without benefiting or having a conflict of interest in it. This system acts as a filter for bad advice/influence that could potentially lead you down or keep you stuck in the wrong life path."
6."I wish someone had told me that by just knowing a foreign language (that isn't English), I could increase my salary by ~20%. I would have paid more attention to French and German."
"There is a big salary difference between jobs that have a language requirement but are otherwise identical because oftentimes large organizations need people to speak a specific language to do a job. For example an accountant with Chinese knowledge earns a ton more money than your standard accountant. An operational manager with Norwegian knowledge can earn triple what a standard ops manager of an English team earns, etc. Even a call center agent who speaks French can earn three to four times more than your average support agent and twice what their manager would earn. Oftentimes, if the language requirement is niche enough, one can land a job with a really high salary while severely lacking other qualifications for the role."
7."I started investing into my Roth IRA as soon as I got my first paycheck, and I have continually done so throughout the years."
8."Just because you are biologically related to people does not mean you are obligated to keep them as part of your family. It’s okay to create the family you want, but it’s okay to cut people out of your life. We are only here for a short while, and toxic/negative/terrible people will drain you and cause added stress, literally robbing you of time, literal years of your life. You deserve to be happy; you deserve the most joyous life you can make for yourself."
9."At the end of the day, your happiness should only depend on your relationship with yourself. Don’t let other people’s perceptions and relationship with you determine your self-worth."
—None
10."Don’t stay in a bad relationship because that’s all you know."
11."You would rather regret doing something than regret not doing it. I'm not talking about drugs, but more like life choices, work, dating, giving second chances, and not using ego with the wrong people."
12."Trust your gut about people. If something in your very soul is telling you that you don't like someone or shouldn't like them, listen to that feeling and walk away. Not everyone is worth your time, and those who are will make you feel comfortable. It's not like you should hide yourself."
"Another one is that for every person who likes you, there are two who don't. Stop trying to make everyone happy, as their happiness isn't your damn issue."
13."Take better care of teeth. I did the basics, but the enthusiasm to floss properly was uncommon. Fast forward to my thirties, I have cavities, root canal procedures, and fractures. I could've prevented all of this."
14."Be extremely selective on who you have kids with."
15."To make friends, you have to put yourself out there. Join clubs/groups/societies."
16."I wish I’d learned earlier that it’s okay to fail and that setbacks are just part of the journey. I spent too much time worrying about making mistakes instead of taking risks. Realizing that failure is often a stepping stone to growth would have saved me a lot of stress and opened up so many more opportunities."
17."The thing that will have the biggest impact on your life is your understanding of money. It's not the pursuit of it, but basic stuff like having a budget, having a savings plan, and understanding the interest and how it works for and against you. Also, before buying something and understanding how many hours of working it costs you to do that.It doesn't have to govern everything you do, but that understanding becomes muscle memory after a while, and it helps."
18."Grab that opportunity. It won't come back again"
19."Don't be afraid to start something new even if you suppose it's too past due. In five years' time, you're nonetheless gonna wish you started it, and that is five years you could have been doing it."
20."Be kind to yourself. That anxiety you feel? Likely was there to try and protect you at some point. Give yourself a break, remember you're not alone, and try to love yourself."
21."Take pictures of yourself with family members, even if they don't like pictures. I learned the hard way. I lost my mom this year, and I don't have enough."
22."You cannot help someone who doesn't want to be helped."
23."That it's ok to say no and to protect my own interests first. I was taught to be a doormat and people pleaser growing up, and I always made use of both at work and in my relationships. I learned the hard way to stand up for myself. Wish it hadn't taken me so long."
Is there one piece of advice that you know that you wish you had received sooner? Tell us what it is in the comments below.
Note: Some of these responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
