Lisa Snowdon: 'Sex as an older woman doesn’t have to be swinging from the chandeliers'

TV presenter Lisa Snowdon shares her secret thoughts on midlife sex, the joy of falling in love with fiancé George Smart and her struggle with 'menopausal anger'.

Broadcaster, author, This Morning fashion expert and menopause campaigner, Lisa Snowdon – once famously linked to George Clooney – talks to us about the realities of menopausal anger, finding her soulmate and the importance of being able to say 'no'.

You wrote about your relationship with George (Smart) in your book Just Getting Started, Lessons in Life, Love and Menopause, in 2023. Is it true you had a fling with him 20 years ago?

I feel so lucky having found a life partner in George as we got together late in life and I’m fortunate I’ve finally found the right person. And the fact he got the full brunt of my menopausal anger, yet has remained supportive throughout, is incredible. I always felt as though our stars were aligned as he re-entered my life at the right time.

George is my best friend and we love and respect each other deeply. It’s like we have come full circle as we had a brief relationship together when I was around 30, working at MTV, and he was 23. We stayed in touch a bit, but then our lives moved in different directions, until a mutual friend reintroduced us. He has taken me on the most romantic ride of my life and the age difference doesn’t bother us at all.

Your book was a huge success last year, in which you wrote about reigniting your love life. You also opened up about sex as an older woman and our expectations in the bedroom. What were the main issues you wanted to flag?

One of the issues I – and some women experience during the menopause – is that we have a loss of libido. In my book, I wanted to be honest talking about sex as so many people think in relationships you’ve got to be having it all the time but that is very unrealistic.

When I first got together with George, one of the other symptoms I had was a loss of libido but thankfully going on HRT really gave me the kickstart to feel myself again. Sex as an older woman doesn’t have to be swinging from the chandeliers – women put far too much pressure on themselves in this department to perform.

You’ve spoken very openly about the menopause. How important do you think it is to have these conversations?

Being part of a community is important and finding your tribe, when it comes to menopause, makes it a less lonely journey, if you are struggling. When I first developed symptoms, 11 years ago, I didn’t have a community like we have today, I didn’t even know the word 'perimenopause' existed and I felt alone.

How badly did the menopause affect your health?

I suffered really badly, to a point there were dark days when I couldn’t even get out of bed. I had panic attacks, developed terrible anxiety and my mood was low. I’m normally a happy person but I was suffering from terrible rages and didn’t recognise myself. I was around 41 when the symptoms began and, together with night sweats and hot flushes that kept me awake at night, I was floored.

You said your menopause rages were so bad you lashed out at your loved ones. Could you give an example of what happened?

My amazing boyfriend George got the brunt of it. He certainly felt the wrath of me. It was pretty early on in our relationship too so I’m very lucky he supported me through the worst of the symptoms. I was also bleeding on and off, and was too scared to go to work because at times it was so debilitating, I didn’t want to leave the house.

What was the turning point that finally prompted you to seek help?

I think I was around 44 when I sought help from my GP, who put me on antidepressants, but I had a feeling deep-down that I wasn’t depressed and it was something else that I couldn’t put my finger on. George agreed and kept reassuring me he didn’t think I was depressed. It was around 2020 when I eventually went to see a menopause specialist and was put on HRT which really helped.

You’ve got an incredible figure, but you’ve spoken a lot about menopausal weight gain. How much weight did you put on and how did you manage to lose it?

I think I put on around three stone during my early to mid-forties. As I’m tall, not many people noticed but the fat just deposited itself in places I’d never had it, like on my arms and back, and my face looked bigger. It’s taken around five years to lose it and now I feel so much better.

Looking back, I was obviously overindulging a bit in food but as someone who doesn’t weigh myself, I was going on clothes sizes and knew they were far too snug for me. I’ve lost weight slowly and carefully by running and through strength training. I also love reformer pilates.

I now have a really healthy relationship with food and believe in eating everything in moderation. If I want pizza, I’ll have it but I’m also aware if I overindulge one day, the next I’ll be more careful. I also do intermittent fasting from time to time to keep my weight in check.

You entered your 50s saying this was a new decade you were going to embrace, having struggled so much in your 40s. Do you feel like you’ve got your zest for life back?

Absolutely yes! Having been a people-pleaser for so long, I have learnt the power of being able to say 'no' to things. Some nights, I’d much rather take my bra off and sit at home in my pyjamas rather than be at a red carpet event. I honestly feel now I have stepped into my power zone and feel the best I have ever done in so long.

Mindfulness has helped me a lot. When I was really low, I spent a lot of time listening to a podcast by the wellness guru Deepak Chopra who helped me enormously. His words of wisdom planted seeds in my consciousness that helped me see the light through the darkness. Together with my family, friends and the incredible love from George, I’m glad to say I feel my zest for life is back.

Lisa Snowdon was a speaker at Pause Live earlier this year, the UK’s largest menopause event.

If you are feeling low, remember you are not alone and you can contact The Samaritans any time, day or night on 116 123. You can also email the charity on jo@samaritans.org.

Read more on the menopause:

• On World Menopause Day, five myths busted by experts (Yahoo Life UK, 5-min read)

• The controversial history of HRT: Menopause campaigners warn against new guidance (Yahoo Life UK, 7-min read)

• How the menopause impacts mental health, according to experts (Yahoo Life UK, 4-min read)