Man 'Reconsidering' Groomsman Role at Brother's Wedding Because He Won't Allow Kids: 'Does Not Sit Well with Me'

A man is thinking twice about attending his brother's wedding as a groomsman after discovering the couple made the decision to bar kids from their ceremony.

In a post on Reddit's "Am I the A------?" forum, the man wrote that he isn't sure if he's making a mistake by considering skipping his brother's wedding after just learning it will be an "adult-only event."

The would-be groomsman, a parent himself, said that his younger brother will be tying the knot in 2025 and his wedding website — created by his fiancée — states that "they do not want kids" in attendance.

"My brother asked me to be a groomsman in the wedding and I accepted before I knew about the kids situation," the man wrote. "My wife and I live approx 4 hours away and have young kids who we can’t leave overnight yet."

"It just does not sit well with me that they asked me to be in the wedding while also saying that kids are not allowed," he added. "Everyone gets along well and it breaks my heart that they don’t want their nieces and nephews there, especially when we don’t see them very often as it is."

After asking if he was in the wrong for considering not attending, the father was met with mixed reactions from other Reddit users. In one top comment, the person took his side, but began by acknowledging it's "understandable that your brother and his fiancée want a kid-free wedding to maintain the atmosphere they envision, which is their right."

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"At the same time, it’s reasonable for you to reconsider being a groomsman due to the logistical challenges of attending without your young kids," they continued. "If you can’t make it work, have an honest conversation with your brother to explain your perspective. It’s not about disrespecting their wishes but balancing your own responsibilities as a parent."

Another user wrote that while it "might feel like a rejection of your kids," the brother's decision doesn't appear to be "personal like that."

"It's more like if you wanted to have a high-end dinner experience with 7 courses and a lot of wine, the type of sit-down dinner that can take 3-5 hours and lets you taste all kinds of weird high-end foods. You wouldn't take kids with you to something like that," the commenter argued.

"Not because there's something wrong with the kids," they continued, "but because it's not fair to expect kids to enjoy this experience (too long, too adult, unfamiliar food that is weird to them etc.) and be able to behave in a way that would not interfere with this kind of experience."

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The commenter then encouraged the man to tell his brother "as soon as possible" that he declines to be a groomsman, to be respectful of the wedding planning.

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One user bluntly told the poster to "get over" himself.

"You presumably had the wedding that you wanted, and now they are doing the same. Perhaps *you* should have given them the list of conditions under which you would accept the invitation if you're so picky," they wrote. "You have options that do not include leaving the kids overnight with a sitter, but it seems as though you'd rather whine about their choice and how it bothers you rather than find solutions when you have plenty of notice."

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