Man Says Girlfriend Lied About Going to an Event He Wanted to Attend, Then She Broke Up with Him

“My girlfriend is a dismissive-avoidant to the extreme, and it’s been causing a lot of issues in our relationship,” the man claimed on Reddit

• In a post on Reddit's “Relationships,” a 30-year-old man shared claims about when his girlfriend, 28, initially declined the invitation to see a popular show, but ended up going without him and taking her friends along instead

• "I asked why she lied to me, twice? No answer. I asked if she was cheating on me? No, she went with her college friends. She eventually confirmed that this was planned before I even asked to go. As I suspected, she just said that she didn’t want to go to avoid what she felt was an uncomfortable conversation," the user recalled

• Fellow Reddit users expressed their opinions regarding the man’s relationship issues in the comments, with many saying that he should be thankful and permanently cut his losses

A man recently unloaded his immense relationship issues on Reddit, where he details a lengthy account of how he claims his girlfriend lying about attending an event led to the ultimate breakdown of their relationship.

In a post on Reddit's r/Relationships page, a 30-year-old man shared his side of a story about when his girlfriend, 28, initially declined an invitation to see a popular show but ended up going without him and taking her friends along instead. “My girlfriend is a dismissive-avoidant to the extreme, and it’s been causing a lot of issues in our relationship,” the man began.

Describing them both as “theater nerds,” the man said that a few months prior he met his girlfriend’s grandparents and some of her friends from college, and they went to a show and had a “great” time. So much so, that he had an idea to continue it with another theater outing.

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“There was another show coming up in a few months that both of us have connections to. It was the first musical she ever saw with her grandparents, and I worked on a production in high school. I asked my girlfriend if we could go. I even offered to bring her grandparents and treat them to a nice night out (they don’t get to go out much anymore) or we could go with her college friends,” the Reddit user continued.

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However, things got pretty complicated from that point on. “I immediately got shut down. She said that she didn’t really like that show (which she has mentioned before), and she didn’t want to see it again,” the man noted.

The next day after not hearing from her – and due to him stating that she recently had minor health issues – he began to worry and decided to check her location.

“I decided to check her location on Find My. She’s not at home. She’s not even in our city. She’s just leaving a restaurant and walking to the theater to go see the show that I really wanted to see," the user explained. "I assume she was with her friends again, the restaurant is a favorite of theirs. It’s a nicer restaurant where they would have needed a reservation, and the show is a popular show. Everything would have needed to have been planned well in advance."

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Adding that he's "not worried about her cheating or anything," the Redditor went on to share that he couldn’t understand why his girlfriend didn’t just come clean from the beginning and say that she wanted to see the show with her friends instead of lying about it.

“I’m just so hurt over everything. I really wouldn’t have minded if she said she already had plans to go to the show with her friends. I just don’t understand why she lied to me about not being willing to go, and why she lied to me to hide that she was going. I think she just didn’t want to explain that she wanted to go with her friends and without me,” the man said.

Foreshadowing what would likely happen if he broached the subject of the incident to her, he continued, “I don’t know how to bring this up to her. She’s very sensitive to criticism, even though I’m hurt not mad at her she’ll probably take it as an attack. She also just doesn’t really like me expressing my feelings to her in general and tends to shut down and withdraw. I’m worried that if I bring this up, she’ll just break up and leave to avoid the conversation.”

Sure enough, in an updated post following the initial incident, the man revealed that he did indeed confront his girlfriend over the situation and things went just as he suspected.

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“I finally brought up the show. I said that I know that she went without me and I explained how I know (and my justification for looking up her location). This visibly shocked her, and she shut down again. I asked why she lied to me, twice? No answer. I asked if she was cheating on me? No, she went with her college friends. She eventually confirmed that this was planned before I even asked to go. As I suspected, she just said that she didn’t want to go to avoid what she felt was an uncomfortable conversation. I asked her if she felt like this was okay? Yes, she was worried that if she told the truth I’d push her to let me go with them,” the man recalled.

Things escalated further and the man said his girlfriend told him that “she doesn’t think our communication styles are compatible. She was exhausted and couldn’t do this anymore. At this point I was exhausted too, and agreed to end things. She never cried or anything during the whole conversation, she just switched between being cold or looking uncomfortable.”

A week after their official breakup, the man said that he had a weak moment fueled by alcohol and contacted his girlfriend in the hopes of mending things and getting back together – but he claimed things took a dark turn.

“Made the mistake of getting drunk alone at home, then made the horrible mistake of trying to text her. I asked if she’d thought about us and if she was willing to talk. I got hit with ‘Don’t contact me. It’s not coming across to you so I’m being explicit. I want nothing from you except to never hear from you or see you again. I’m blocking your number. Contact me again and I’ll be getting a restraining order. Go get some help and leave me alone,’ ” the man recalled his girlfriend saying to him following the unsuccessful reconciliation attempt.

Fellow Reddit users expressed their opinions regarding the man’s relationship issues in the comments, with many saying that he should be thankful and permanently cut his losses.

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“You were dormatting hard for her, man, she treated you like s---, she was completely selfish and self-absorbed, and you enabled her by making everything about her and being her good little anxious trying-too-hard lap-dog," the user said. "Please, find a therapist you click with and start working on your issues - you deserve to be in an equal relationship, where you are cherished and supported and loved, not used as a chauffeur-cum-emotional garbage bin."

Another user wrote, “She sounds exhausting and awful. Be happy that this agony is over. She sucks. She lies. She gives you the silent treatment (hence, by definition, does not have any communication skills).  Count your blessings and get drunk only because you want to celebrate your life just became better.  Never contact her again and your best revenge is to live a happy and fulfilling life."

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A third commenter also added a similar perspective, adding, “I know you don't feel like it now but in the long run you are so much better off. She wants everything for nothing. She expects relationships to run on magic and that is unreasonable. I am def getting narcissistic vibes. This all sounds exhausting. Take time, be gentle on yourself, and know you gave every effort to make this work and in the end, it was her lack of willingness to put in even the slightest effort that ended this. not you or anything you did.”

The original poster ended the Reddit conversation by saying, “Oh well, I guess I have a lot of work to do on myself.”

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