Man Says His Girlfriend Is 'Upset' That He's Comfortable Talking About 'Women Things'

A man said he was questioning his relationship with his girlfriend after he discovered that she's uncomfortable anytime he brings up feminine hygiene or beauty products — or as he calls it, "women things."

In a since-deleted post to Reddit's r/TrueOffMyChest forum on Wednesday, Jan. 1, that attracted much discussion, the user, 32, wrote that his girlfriend of about 6 months, 28, is "uncomfortable" when he speaks openly about things such as menstruation or birth control.

And he doesn't quite know how to approach the conflict, he wrote.

According to the user, he is "knowledgeable and comfortable" about these things, as he briefly was on the pre-medical school track in college and is close to his sisters and close female cousins.

"All that to say, I’m comfortable discussing periods, birth control and the like, I’m familiar with female anatomy, and I don’t have a problem with buying or carrying period products, lingerie, makeup, perfume, etc.," he wrote in the post, adding that he sometimes keeps period products in his bathroom for visitors.

"She on the other hand, grew up in a fairly small, rural, and conservative town," the user added. "She had sisters but her dad and other male members of her family apparently would make jokes, gagging noises, or otherwise shame them for talking about/having their period."

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The Redditor wrote that his girlfriend had also been "weirded out" by his knowledge of periods.

"I tried to have a conversation about what her symptoms usually are and what she likes/needs when she is having bad symptoms so I can be as helpful as possible during that time and she refused to have that conversation," the post continued. "One time she had mentioned being out of pads and I offered to get some and she seemed upset that I offered."

The conflict didn't end at menstruation, either — the original poster also wrote that his girlfriend had been offended when he asks about fashion, manicures and women's lingerie.

"When we dress up to go out on nicer dates I try to tell her what I’m wearing or ask what she’s wearing so we can color-coordinate if she is into that," he wrote. "After a few times of asking/telling she asked why and I explained that I thought it would be cute to match. She basically asked if one of my exes liked to match and said she doesn’t care enough to do that all the time."

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The user wrote that his girlfriend once asked him what she should get when it comes to her manicure color — and that ended in an argument as well.

"[All] I said was that I like the way the rounded or almond tips look over the others and I think an earth tone would look good for fall," he recounted. "'Who taught you about nails?' She was legit upset."

According to the Redditor, her discomfort with discussions about these things "came to a head" when she asked him to pick out some underwear for her and he did so, from Victoria's Secret.

"She was absolutely flabbergasted that I, a lone man, went into a store for women, found the underwear section, searched through them to find the ones I was looking for, carried them to the front, and walked back through the mall and to my car with a bright pink bag," the user wrote. "She asked if I had help from someone that worked there, if I had someone go with me, and then how many times I had gone there before with other women to be so familiar and comfortable doing it on my own."

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For the Redditor, these conversations were always uncomfortable and confusing, as his girlfriend had previously "expressed in some ways some form of gratitude that I am not as ignorant/clueless as the stereotypical guy."

"But in the moment, she’s upset because it’s a reminder that I’ve dated other women before her," he added.

Many commenters seemed to agree, writing in the replies that the Redditor's girlfriend sounded insecure in their relationship and was having a hard time facing that her own family acted immaturely when it came to these topics.

"You seem like a great boyfriend. She seems like she is insecure," one user wrote. "I’d have a serious talk about this, as it will likely create resentment issues in the long term if things don’t change."

"She is uncomfortable because you are clearly demonstrating how messed up her family is (gagging noises, really!!? wow.)," another person chimed in. "Her options are get over it, or find someone that can provide her the level of distain she grew up with."

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However, other users took a different view of the situation.

"First, yes, she clearly has her issues. I don't dispute that. However. I was raised in a home with a healthy attitude towards sex, super liberal, all that - and what you're describing would bother me as well," one commenter wrote, adding, "I'm not ashamed of any of it, but it's not something I like to sit and converse about."

That response was echoed by other comments.

"Like [I] understand [the poster] is coming from a good place, but he sounds overbearing to me," one user wrote.

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