Man Tried to Ditch Family to Hang Out with His Friends. When His Wife Got Upset, He Gave Her the ‘Silent Treatment’
"He told me I embarrassed him in front of his coworkers & I manipulated him," the man's wife said
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Man and woman arguing (stock image)A woman says her husband tried to leave "family day" early after running into his friends from work
Having requested him to stay, she said her husband ultimately didn't hang out with his friends but has been giving her the "silent treatment" ever since
The woman, who shared her experience on Reddit, says her husband now claims she "manipulated him" to get her way
A woman says her husband has been giving her the “silent treatment" after she got upset when he tried to ditch family time – but she’s not so sure she’s the one in the wrong.
The woman detailed the situation on the Reddit forum “Am I the A------?” — a place where people can go to get advice about interpersonal issues. In her post, the Redditor shares that she and her spouse recently took their kids to a sporting event on a planned “family day.”
She says that after the game, they were deciding where to grab dinner when her husband told her that some of his coworkers had also been at the game and were at a nearby “bar & grill.” The woman says her husband went in to speak to his work friends while she took the kids across the street to get ice cream. She then took the kids into the bar and grill because her husband texted that his coworkers “wanted to meet us.”
“[It] was loud between the music and drunk people,” she writes, adding that it “made the kids feel uneasy.”
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Couple arguing (stock image)It was at this point that the woman says her husband “decided that he was going to stay” and Uber home, leaving her to drive the kids home alone. The woman says that she told him she was not comfortable driving in the inner city in an area she didn’t know well — to which he replied that she and the kids could take the Uber and he would take the car later.
“I [don’t] recall [...] all I said but I remember going “Seriously?!” the Redditor writes.
She says that her husband ultimately “said never mind” and drove home with the family — but began giving her the “silent treatment.”
“When we finally did try to talk last night he told me I embarrassed him in front of his coworkers & I manipulated him,” she says. She adds that he also argued that “family time had ended,” and that “everyone would have gone their separate ways anyways” after they got home after the game.
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While the woman concedes that her husband was probably right — each family member would likely have done their own thing once they got back home — she also explains that she considers car time a valuable opportunity to connect.
“We usually talk the entire time we are in the car together,” she writes, noting that they “didn’t get to talk during the game because the kids were between us.”
The Redditor also says she felt as though her husband “[didn’t] once think of me & the kids once he got around his coworkers.”
The woman concludes her post by clarifying that she usually doesn’t have a problem with her spouse spending time with friends — but the specifics of this particular situation rubbed her the wrong way.
The vast majority of commenters said they thought the woman had every right to feel upset — and that her husband was clearly in the wrong.
“NTA [not the a------], wrote one person. “Your hubby throwing a tantrum [because] you weren't cool with him ditching you and your kids in an unfamiliar city so he could hang out with his co-workers is throwing up all kinds of red flags. He's not a frat boy, he's an adult with a partner and children. Nothing wrong with wanting to hang with co-workers or any other adults, but for either of you, that needs to be arranged in advance in a conversation.”
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Couple in a fight (stock image)The same person added: “From your kids' perspective, imagine going out for a day with your parents only to have one of them bail on you so they can go hang out in a bar. I would find that a pretty hurtful demonstration of where I sat on their list of priorities.”
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“NTA but your spouse is,” another commenter said. “It shouldn't have been an issue at all. He sounds selfish, and the silent treatment is very immature. He wants the best of both worlds, having a family and acting like a single guy.”
One person, however, noted that they thought the OP was in the wrong — not because she wanted her husband to spend more time with the family that evening, but because she made the issue about something else.
“The problem is you lied," they said. "If you didn’t want him to ditch you on a family outing I would be fine with that but you used driving as the issue and when your husband resolved the driving problem with Uber you didn’t take him up on it.”
“Weaponized helplessness is just not acceptable,” they added.
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