Men Reveal The Shocking Dealbreakers That Ended Their Closest Friendships, And We Should Seriously Be Talking About These More
Breaking up with a friend can be one of the most painful experiences we go through as humans, and though the fallout can dramatically alter our daily lives, it's rarely given the significance that romantic breakups get. While the ups and downs of female friendships are something often discussed, men, as it turns out, are no strangers to toxic friendships. Users in the r/AskMen subreddit shared the unforgivable things friends had done that forced them to cut them off, and all I'll say is buckle up because these stories are pretty eye-opening:
Note: This post contains mentions of sexual harassment, abuse, and gun use.
1."I had a buddy who no-showed to my bachelor party after confirming that he was coming the day before. Then he apologized profusely and said he was still really looking forward to the wedding. Then he and his wife no-showed to the wedding. I haven't tried to reach out since, and he's made zero attempts to apologize or communicate."
2."My friend talked shit about me at work in an attempt to impress some girl. He had no clue the girl was a friend of mine who told me everything. I was in denial at first, until he called me one day randomly as he does. Then I told him I'm turning my life around and I don't want to be such a [quoted his insult about me word for word]. Then he got choked up, stuttering like a kid who got caught stealing and has never lied before."
3."He sent dick pics to one woman who was a good friend of mine and another who was my very recent ex. I miss his friendship, but I just couldn’t hang with someone like that. Other female friends of mine have told me that he made them uncomfortable, but I was young and dumb and didn’t think much of it."
"Fellas, listen to your lady friends about your dude friends. They see things you don’t."
4."He fought to get his daughter back from foster care for years and finally got her; she and his girlfriend argued a lot (in the span of 14 days), so GF moved out and left him, basically telling him, 'It's her or me.' He chose the GF and sent the daughter back to foster care."
"It's the only time I have ever lost all respect for a person. He called me a couple of weeks after he gave her up and couldn't understand where I was coming from when I told him he was a cowardly little piece of shit. Apparently, I didn't know how 'difficult' a choice it was. I told him it was the easiest choice ever. And he still got it wrong."
5."Close family friend went through IVF. Had twins. Decided they didn't want one of them and left her at the hospital. They said they didn't want additional financial and emotional stress because the twin they left behind had a close to remote chance of being autistic."
"They're both lawyers. My wife and I literally could not look them in the eye when they told us. They were not going to tell anyone, including their family. We were supposed to carry the burden of this lie."
6."I found out that a good friend of mine, whom I've known for years, started mentally abusing his wife. Any illness his newborn got would be automatically blamed on his wife getting the vaccine or using deodorant or drinking water, which he thought had chemicals in it, which 'changed DNA.' He wanted his wife to cater to his viewpoint. And he'd get mad if she didn't...she's more of a scientific mind (she works as a nurse), so she's got some common sense and would prove his points wrong consistently."
7."My old roommate broke into my gun safe, took out a gun, and dry fired it at another friend's head… I moved out a week later, upgraded the safe, and never spoke to them again."
8."I stopped talking to my friend when he said he had gotten in trouble a few times with the cops, and he gave them my name. He doesn’t carry ID with him. A few of us suspected he would give a new person's name every time."
—u/[deleted]
9."We were all having a conversation, and somehow, the topic came up of why his wife never hung out with us in our group. He has cheated on her the entirety of their marriage and basically said that he 'didn't trust her not to sleep with us, or us to not try and sleep with her.' I kind of laughed and asked him why he thought we would do that to him since we were all friends. He immediately replied he would absolutely sleep with any of our spouses if given the chance."
10."When my best friend had an affair with my other best friend's girlfriend, and instead of being a normal person and just keeping it a secret and letting me have my suspicions, he actually told me and basically bragged about it with no remorse. Like he was so cool for being a piece of shit. For context, we were all best friends. I lost all respect for him after that."
—u/[deleted]
11."He was complaining about his dating life, but the stories he told me were horrible about how he treated women. His last 'girlfriend' was someone he had been dating for a few weeks. Her dad happened to be in the hospital with terminal cancer, so it was a really rough time for her. He was complaining that they had been seeing each other for a few weeks already, and they hadn't yet had sex. He said that he doesn't consider someone his girlfriend unless they are having sex, and since they hadn't had sex, she wasn't his girlfriend yet. Then, she wanted him to come to the hospital with her to meet her dad. She said he was dying, and she wanted to bring him by to introduce him to her dad as her boyfriend. He said, 'Well, I'm not your BF because we haven't had sex, so I won't do it unless you want to have sex.' She didn't want to, so he said, 'Fine, I won't go.'"
"She kept asking him to go to the hospital with her, and he kept saying, 'Well, I'm not your BF unless we have sex, and I'm not going if I'm not your BF.' She eventually conceded, and he said the sex was really boring because she just laid there and did nothing. She cried afterward. He then told her he wasn't interested in being her boyfriend because she was terrible in bed.
I was so appalled by his story that I forgot how words worked. I...just...can't...even... I haven't considered him a friend since that day."
—u/[deleted]
12."I've known guys who bragged about their cheating, and it made me lose all respect for them. If he's going to treat his girlfriend like that, he'll treat anyone else just as poorly."
13."I had a buddy really — and I mean really — casually tell a story about lying that he was wearing a condom while having sex with a girl he met on vacation. Like, one of those 'why should I care if she gets knocked up? I was leaving in two days, haha' kind of things. It was one of those moments where you just...can't look at someone the same way anymore."
14."I realized a couple of friends were two-faced people, smiling and agreeing with one group of people, only to trash them behind their backs."
15."I had a friend from high school and college call me after almost a decade of not talking. We were all part of the same tight friend circle. When I saw his number, my heart dropped. I thought someone had died (I've gotten that call before for other friends)."
"I stepped aside at work to pick up the call. After short pleasantries, he started going into the typical MLM spiel. I was so pissed."
16."Realized I was always the one moving along the friendship, planning things, starting conversations. One day, it hit me, and I just stopped texting him after texting him almost every day for years. It's been close to three years since then, and I never heard from him. We still like each other's social media posts, etc., but it feels so weird and still hurts a bit. I considered him a close friend, and he apparently never felt the same."
17."He abandoned his dog so he could spend weekends at his girlfriend's place easier. Fucker, you are that dog's whole support system and their best friend."
"He sold the dog cross country on Facebook Marketplace to an almost blank profile. He sent a half dozen pictures and a handful of messages to whoever it was, and they sent him half the money, so he sent the dog. The buyer never sent him the other half of the money, and the ex-friend never heard from them again, but the tracking number for the dog says it was delivered."
18."After a night at the club, my friend was extremely drunk. We were on the street on our way to the fast food place when my friend started to grope every woman he saw. I tried to stop him, but he wouldn’t listen. Then, I 'forcefully' made him stop, which seemed to work for a while. Once at the fast food place, he started to do it again while I was in the bathroom. When I came back out, girls were yelling at him and slapping him. I took him outside so I could put him in a taxi or something, but the girls went and found a group of, like, 10 dudes and pointed at the two of us. They came at us, and somehow, they ignored my friend, and all went on me instead and just started to beat me up."
"My friend sat down a bit further away to smoke a cigarette while the beating took place right next to him. I’ve known that guy for 20 years. That was the last time I spoke to him."
19."Racism. I had no clue until he dropped the n-word and started making comparisons to animals. Instant distancing and avoidance."
20."This guy literally assaulted one of the girls in our friend group. All the girls in our friend group are now openly refusing to have him around, and half the guys still hang out with him on the side. It’s a huge betrayal, and needless to say, I don’t associate with any of them anymore."
21."When he kept acting like he was the victim during his divorce. He had been leading a double life and had another family none of us knew about. Yet it was everyone else who was being unreasonable and judgmental."
22.And finally... "Hitting on my ex-girlfriend immediately after I broke up. Dude even had the balls to ask me if I was over her so that he could have a go at her. Nevertheless, he got shut down really well."
What dealbreakers caused you to cut off a friend? Let us know in the comments.
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
