Millennials Are Sharing Their Thoughts On What It's Really Like Being A Parent, And It's A Big Dose Of Reality IMO
I hear that becoming a parent is one of life's greatest joys. However, whether it's postpartum depression or just life's everyday stresses weighing heavily on you, parenting is not an easy job. The BuzzFeed Community recently shared some of the difficulties of parenting that are probably very relatable to many. Here is what some shared:
1."Feeling helpless. When they [kids] are hurting (physically and/or mentally), you can only do so much."
2."I always tell first-time parents to take an extra 30 seconds before they put the baby back in the crib when they are asleep and cherish who their baby is in that moment. The first year is simultaneous mourn and joy and it goes by FAST."
3."I waited until quite late to have kids, and I'm so glad I did it. I love every single second, but it's so hard, and omg, if you are pressured into this life and you don't want it, it must be so difficult. My sister decided kids were not for her, and she lives a wonderful, truly fulfilled life. Sometimes she gets a bit jealous, and sometimes I get jealous of her freedoms, but 'different strokes for different folks' on this one."
4."Having kids is one of the most amazing things for a parent, but sometimes it's also one of the hardest things. They're sweet, funny, and kind, but they can be demanding and argue with their siblings so much you wonder if they even love/like each other. There are days when I'm so tired by dinner time, I'm getting on my own nerves. But I wouldn't change it for the world. I love my kids and the people they're becoming, two as young adults, and one coming up on middle school age."
5."I told a friend recently that young children are selfish little love sponges, and parenting can be a great lesson in selflessness. I would really recommend that parents and future parents really try to imagine and discuss with their partners or co-parents what values and expectations they would like to bring to parenting so that they can have a clear intention and objective in mind on how they would like to parent and how their partner, family, friends can assist with that."
6."I struggled a lot when my kids were younger — like, toddler and preteen years. Kids of that age are loud, unpredictable, and hard (or impossible sometimes) to reason with. They're messy, chaotic, and hyper-emotional over odd things, like whether they got to press the elevator button. For much of that time, they had no self-preservation instinct and had to be constantly watched so they wouldn't eat batteries they found in a kitchen drawer or run out in traffic. It's exhausting."
"But once they became teenagers, suddenly, they could be reasoned with, they could wipe their own bottoms and noses, bathe themselves, and they weren't constantly screaming over random little issues. They developed interests I could share with them, like rock climbing and cycling. I know a lot of people have the opposite experience, but I've grown really close to my kids and have an awesome bond with them now that they're middle and high schoolers. So I guess I'm saying, if it's hard right now, hang on!"
7."Every kid is different. My daughter is a great traveler. She eats everything, she isn't picky at all, she sleeps through the night and has since she was six weeks old — she's six now, and the only time since then that she hasn't was last summer when she got her tonsils out, and that's only because she was in a lot of pain and I had to wake her up to take the pain meds. I love seeing her play with her dolls and friends because I can see the things I say and how I treat her are being reflected. But I also know if I have another one, they could be completely opposite and make me feel like some other parents do."
8."As the mother of an only child, I think people don’t consider their own personalities when having kids. I’m not necessarily a 'kid' person. I couldn’t ask for a better daughter, she’s amazing and social, I am not social at all. So once I realized how socially exhausting (not to mention expensive) birthday parties, school events, and other parents and children are, that’s really when I knew I didn’t want any more. So many outside factors can affect not wanting kids other than the kids themselves."
9."Having a child is the most rewarding and best thing I have ever done. I feel both blessed and honored to be a parent. That being said, their hurts become your hurts. It is a million times worth having your child be in emotional or physical pain than it is for yourself. But you need to put that aside to help them. When someone hurts your child intentionally, it is the worst feeling in the world."
10."Babies are hard. If they don't want to be fed, they need to be changed or sleep, and you need to figure out which one. They will cry until you do, and when they go to sleep, they need to do it being rocked, in a car, or held by a parent."
11."I think the hardest one for me has been the realization that sometimes your kids will struggle more than their peers. Both my kids are neurodivergent, and one has been dealing with severe depression. All my friends post year-end stories about their kids’ sports teams, dance recitals, etc., while our kids just can’t take those things on. They’re both so smart and talented, but those things don’t shine as much through the challenges as I wish they did. But the silver lining to that is that I’ve learned so much from both of them, and that’s helped me become an advocate both for the things they need and for other kids who may not have voices speaking up for them the way our kids do."
12."There's no need to be a martyr when you're a parent. It's not some sort of requirement that you're obligated to handle as some sort of right of passage. If your kids don't handle travel well, don't take them! They may actually enjoy the experience a lot more when they're older. I didn't go on a long trip with my kids until they were around 9 and 12. Trying this when they were younger probably would have been annoying and miserable."
13."More people need to realize you WILL make mistakes raising or even helping to raise children. Some decisions I made regarding my 22-year-old stepdaughter have me thinking, 'Wtf was I thinking?' in hindsight. I have four nieces, two nephews, and my beloved stepdaughter. None of them are little anymore. The youngest will be 12 shortly. Those early years really do fly, so please, please enjoy them. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with parenting a teen/young adult."
14."People want to have BABIES to cuddle. They don’t want to have colic, toddler tantrums, homework help, braces, puberty, driving lessons, and college costs."
If you're a parent and you have something to add here, share it with me in the comments below!
