Model Catie Li: I Never Thought 'Snapback Culture’ Would Affect Me—And Then I Had A Baby
My husband and I knew we wanted to have a baby pretty soon after getting married in October 2022, so I was really, really excited when I got pregnant only four months later.
I had not been around that many pregnant women, but when I was, the vibe was very much butterflies and rainbows. My husband and I had done our research, took classes, read the books—so I was surprised by how different I felt during pregnancy and the lack of support after. I was also not anticipating being so affected by “snapback” culture, not just physically, but also in terms of snapping back to my career as a content creator and model.
As a plus girl fighting to spread body positivity, I didn’t think snapback culture would impact me.
I’m a pretty active person: I was working out consistently with a personal trainer and running regularly, but when I got pregnant that just went out the window. I was so exhausted all the time. My doctor said that most women get a boost of energy at 14 weeks, but I didn’t get one until 21 weeks and it only lasted about a month. I had severe pelvic pain, even just walking became difficult, and I wasn’t getting much sleep because I was so uncomfortable.
When I asked other pregnant women about their experience, at first they would just say, “it’s great!” But when I said really? because I am struggling here, it felt like I opened a door for them to say, oh no, girl, this part is terrible.
It felt like those realistic and sometimes negative parts of pregnancy were kept in this secret club.
No one will talk about it until you’re in the club, too. But because we’re not talking openly about it, there are a lot of little things you’re unaware of when you’re going through pregnancy and postpartum.
I had a scheduled C-section because my son was breached, but my water broke a week before. We went to the hospital at 4 a.m. on October 26th, 2023, and by 8 a.m. I was in surgery. I was very, very nervous. My husband was by my side the whole time until he had to leave me to do the cord cutting in another part of the room that I couldn’t see. I wish I’d known that I would be alone during part of the surgery.
Only a few hours after that, in the recovery room, the hospital staff asked me to lift myself up to move to another bed instead of helping me by using a transfer sheet, even though I couldn’t really feel my legs. You want to feel strong and not complain-y, but I wish I had asked for help because it was difficult and pretty painful.
After giving birth, I thought I would be able to go back to my normal self, but it was hard to get motivated.
I felt like I had to somewhat snap back not only looks-wise, but with energy. I think it was mainly because I had very high expectations for myself, but also because of what I’ve absorbed through media and ads throughout the years.
I try to ignore snapback culture as much as possible. What you see on social media of people snapping back immediately to their pre-birth weight—that’s unusual and uncommon. Still, I often had to use self-talk and tell myself "no this isn’t realistic," and that is what inspired me to share my journey on my socials.
I was cleared to work out six weeks postpartum, but my body was not ready for that.
It was very hard for me to even go on walks for the longest time. And you’re getting no sleep, giving 24-hour care to your baby, healing from the birth, dealing with hormones, and just trying to catch a break to do anything for yourself.
Once I lowered my expectations and celebrated my small victories it became more enjoyable because I was accomplishing my small goals. I started with five- to 10-minute walks around my neighborhood, then, around six months postpartum, I felt good enough to start OrangeTheory twice a week and go on solo runs.
More recently, I’ve been able to make some more time to focus on myself, whether it’s with meditation, stretching, or walking, and trying to get back to a space where I feel very healthy.
My best advice for anyone else going through this is to give yourself grace and small goals.
And celebrate the small wins, even if that starts off with putting on a cute workout outfit and walking down the street. It’s almost like starting your workout and wellness journey from square one, but on your own terms.
If you don’t start exercising right away or you’re not taking your child for a walk to the park every day, it’s ok. If you're having a hard time, it is ok. You are your own worst critic, and when you become a parent, there’s a lot of self-talk. You have to tell yourself, "I'm doing a lot," and "I’m doing the best that I can do," and try not to be hard on yourself.
And you don’t have to “snap back.” Whose expectation is that? Pregnancy and parenthood is different for everyone. We should be able to have conversations about it and not be judged.
Snapping back goes beyond body image.
I was really surprised by the lack of education and support postpartum. After this major surgery, I had one six-week checkup and that was it. To go from weekly doctor’s appointments to check on your baby to nothing is kind of shocking. After a C-section you’re not supposed to move around or pick up too much, but it’s really hard to stick to that when you have a new baby and your partner is also going through this major life change.
Work-wise, it really felt snapback. As a freelancer, I don’t have paid family leave available to me. Pretty much the moment I had my son, it was straight back to making content. I was wearing the largest size in a lot of fashion brands before pregnancy, so I’m figuring out how to navigate being in a larger size and also shifting my content into other categories (like motherhood).
We need to keep talking about issues like paid leave, time to recover from birth, and support from healthcare for postpartum care. I think insurance or the government should provide basic educational classes and a helpline for new parents. I believe if we continue to make noise, stand up for what is right, and share stories that we can impact change.
Personally, I am embracing no expectations.
If I don’t get it done today, I’ll do it tomorrow. And there are lots of moments of joy, too. Teaching your child how to be a human, how to crawl, how to talk, those are really special moments and it does make all the hard work worth it.
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