Mom shares teacher’s powerful message in viral TikTok: ‘I don’t see their milestones, I see who they are’
As mothers, I am sure that we are all struggling with mom guilt. Most likely, we face this infamous, lingering beast each and every single day. No matter how much we do, we feel as though it’s never enough. We don’t give ourselves enough credit and often question if we’re “good enough” mamas. But in this emotional TikTok tailor-made for mamas struggling with mom guilt, I think we can all find some solace and comfort to help us be a little bit easier on ourselves.
I advise you to grab your tissues and prepare for the waterworks before you press play—because this one’s gonna hit you hard, mama.
Related: Mom guilt is a symptom of a much deeper problem
Anna Mellor, the TikToker behind @mellorlite recently posted her reaction to a message from a child’s teacher. The message starts off by reading, “When I look around my classroom I couldn’t tell you who crawled first, who walked before one or spoke in sentences by 15 months. I can’t tell you if their parents breastfed or bottle fed.”
Wait… pause. We’re not crying, you are
. But in all actuality, tears are literally streaming down my face right now—and they’re probably streaming down yours as you’re listening to this. Because within just the first couple of sentences, we’re reminded of how much pressure we so often put on ourselves and on our children.
The message goes on to say, “You know what I can tell when I look at my kids? I can tell which families value kindness and manners in their home. I can tell when a child feels loved and secure at home (and at school which sadly isn’t everyone’s school experience)”
“I can hear how you speak to your children by how they speak to others. When I look at my little friends I don’t see their milestones, I see who they are: their heart, their actions, their inner voice, their struggles and triumphs, and I see you; and all the love you pour into them.”
Related: Getting over mom guilt—How to say goodbye to feeling bad
I feel like such a heavy weight has been lifted off my shoulders just from watching this TikTok. Because mom guilt is so very real. It’s consuming. It’s pervasive. And so often it has a hold on us that we can’t even shake.
But I think that this message is the reassurance that many mamas need on a daily basis. Because we are all simply doing the best that we can each and every day. And sometimes, our best doesn’t look like our child reading by two years old or walking by 15 months. Sometimes, our best doesn’t look like preparing a home-cooked meals for our children every night as opposed to eating out. Sometimes, our best doesn’t look like our kids perfectly knowing their ABCs or 123s.
But it looks like teaching them that they are loved. It looks like teaching them how to love and accept others. It looks like having patience with them and helping them learn, even if they don’t get it right the first time. Our best looks like raising our children the best that we possibly can.
Related: I’m tired of feeling pressured to have my baby meet milestones
So this message is a reminder to ease up on the mom guilt. It’s a reminder that letting go of mom guilt isn’t easy, but totally necessary. Because comparison is the thief of all joy—and mamas so often get caught in its vicious cycle.
A huge thanks to whoever wrote this message, because it’s one that every mama truly needs. And I can tell because the comment sections were flooded with mothers moved by the sentiment of this message.
Where can I find this so that I can print it and put it on my wall? I need this as a daily reminder.
OK. It’s just something in my eye. I’m not ABSOLUTELY BAWLING in the school pickup line.
My daughter’s teacher told me she isn’t the best reader but she is the 1st to go sit with the lonely kid or befriend the “different” kid Proud mama.
From my entire soul, thank you.
A version of this post was published in September 2022. It has been updated.
